Birth story – second pregnancy

Family, Motherhood, Pregnancy, Uncategorized

Things have been so busy with two littles one and I am finally ready to share my birth story after 9 months!

After a super eventful birth story for my first pregnancy, I was really hoping to have a smoother delivery for my second baby. Of course things never seem to go to plan and I find out that my boys like to make their own grand entrance!

After having an emergency c section with Lex, I was really hoping for a VBAC (vaginal birth after c section) for this pregnancy. I had a wonderful experience with Dr. Ghosh for my first pregnancy and was excited to have him again for my second pregnancy. I communicated my wish for a VBAC to him and he was fully supportive, however, he was also realistic and told me to keep my options open. There are a number of factors that make you a good candidate for VBAC and conditions leading up to the birth also need to line up in order for it to happen. A VBAC can only happen if all these criterions are met.

In the weeks leading up to my due date, the baby was measuring pretty big from 3.5 kg in week 37 to 3.7 kg in week 38! Dr. Ghosh also said that he was underestimating the measurement and it was likely that the baby was even bigger. I know that there are a lot of instances where women are completely capable of birthing a large baby, but personally I was getting a little concerned with the size of the baby and how it would make labor and birth more difficult. Dr. Ghosh also said that the baby was starting to get a bit cramped inside so he was in a transverse position, which is not ideal for a smooth vaginal birth. Dr. Ghosh kept joking that I married the wrong husband (who is 6’4) for a vaginal delivery haha! Dr. Ghosh was very frank with us and told us that he thinks it would be best to have a scheduled c section. He also told us that due to scar tissue, it would be very dangerous to have another emergency c section if I was in advanced labor. The surgery would be much more difficult and the risk of complications was high. I was slightly disappointed but I also trust his judgement completely so we felt at peace with the decision. Ultimately, the most important thing is that the delivery is safe for me and the baby.

Our scheduled c section was on July 28, Thursday. We actually felt quite relieved that we had a date and that we didn’t have to wait around to wait for labor to start unexpectedly. However, on Sunday night I started feeling some mild cramping that would come and go. I thought it was Braxton Hicks so decided to go to bed. At 3 am, I woke up from the cramps and couldn’t get back to sleep. I was still thinking it was Braxton Hicks so I decided to walk around and see if it would go away. I searched on my phone and read a few articles about differentiating between real contractions and Braxton Hicks. As I was scuttling around the room, Jerry woke up and asked me what I was doing. I felt that that the cramps were coming at a frequent pace so decided to time the cramps. I was shocked when I realized they were coming every 3-5 minutes! Deep down I had a feeling things were happening but I was still in slight disbelief. I decided to call Matilda just in case and the midwife told me to come in. I was hoping we didn’t have to rush to the hospital at 3 am. We cosleep so Lex was sound asleep in our bed and I felt so sad to leave him like that and have him wake up in the morning confused and wondering where we have gone. If we did end up having the baby today this would mean 4-5 nights away from home and this was not the goodbye I had envisioned with Lex. We woke up our helper and finished packing up some final things into our hospital bag before rushing out the door.

On the ride to the hospital, I was starting to feel like I had to use the bathroom for #2 badly. I also started to feel very nauseas and wanted to throw up. With these symptoms I started to accept that fact that I was in fact in labor. We got to the hospital and they were ready for me and started the check in process. Due to the pandemic, we had to do a RAT and a PCR test to ensure I was negative. It was a bit nerve wrecking since I was pretty sure we were ok, but it was not 100% certain. For my scheduled c section, I was supposed to come in either the day before or hours before my admission to do the PCR test. Private hospitals do not accept patients that have covid and they have to deliver at public hospitals – so it was quite a tense time while we waited for the results. While we were waiting for the urgent PCR result, I went into a room (not in the maternity unit) and they started to monitor the baby’s heart rate and also the contractions. The midwife confirmed that they were indeed real contractions and not Braxton Hicks. I asked her whether this meant it was likely we would have the baby today and she said yes!

Everything was on standby while we waited for the PCR result and they had not contacted Dr. Ghosh yet. I was a bit worried and asked whether they would transport me to the public hospital if I was positive, to my relief they said since I was already in labor they would not do that and would instead put me in a special isolation room. I was relieved to hear I would not be carted off and luckily my result was also negative! I had asked the midwife whether it was still possible to try vaginal birth and she said she would check with Dr. Ghosh. With the PCR result out of the way, they phoned Dr. Ghosh and I heard her tone on the phone suddenly change. The mood suddenly changed and the midwife rushed back in and asked me to use a surgical body wash on my lower abdomen. She says that Dr. Ghosh is concerned because I have had contractions for a long time but it has not progressed properly. We need to move as fast as possible or else the risk of complications will be high if the emergency c section is performed late into labor. We had to rush to the operation theatre for an emergency c section!

Jerry and I were caught off guard and did not expect things to escalate so quickly. Lots of other medical personnel were rushing in and out to check wristbands, take blood, and sign forms. The midwife was contacting other doctors such as the anesthesiologist, pediatrician, and nurses that needed to help out with the operation. The midwife who was with me from the beginning was incredibly sweet and chatty so she definitely made me feel better about the entire situation. I was personally feeling quite calm but it was quite a shock how quickly the pace picked up. I also trusted my doctor and this hospital fully so I knew I was in good hands. Dr. Ghosh came in and gave me a look of disbelief when I asked one last time about a possible VBAC.

Once we were in the operation theatre the anesthesiologist gave me a spinal block and soon I could not move or feel my legs. I really hated that feeling and kept trying to move my toes ala Kill Bill (if you know the scene where Uma Thurman just wakes up from her coma). It was a futile action but I was just curious whether I could do it, but it made me nauseous whenever I tried. The anesthesiologist was really funny and chatty, he played a fun music playlist where every song had the word “baby” in it. I was feeling quite nauseous with the anesthesia and the doctor gave me something to help with the nausea. It helped slightly but I was still feeling quite sickly. I remember not feeling great the first pregnancy but perhaps because I was already so drained, it did not affect me as much. I was more alert and in a normal state of mind for this delivery so the nausea from the anesthesia had a stronger negative affect on me.

At 7:41 our beautiful little boy Sebastian was born! He was crying super loud and was whisked off to be checked by the pediatrician. I was a bit surprised since with Lex he was instantly placed on my chest. I had requested skin to skin as soon as possible with both births so I felt a little impatient while waiting for Bas to be placed on me. It felt like an eternity and I kept looking around to see when they would be done inspecting Bas and I could finally meet my baby.. By the time they placed him on me he was already wrapped up but luckily we got lots of skin to skin back in our room later. He calmed down instantly once he was placed on me and it was such a beautiful and sweet moment. Jerry and Bas went to the nursery to have Bas cleaned and weighed while I was stitched back up. As expected, Bas was a big boy at 3.9 kg! The stitching part of the operation takes a while and I could not wait to get back to the room with Jerry and our new baby!

The birth was once again not what we expected at all but what was most important is that both me and Bas are doing well. I do sometimes wonder what it would be like to have a vaginal birth and I am slightly disappointed that I will never get to experience it. After two c sections all subsequent pregnancies will be c sections – but I am also at peace with how things turned out and I believe all births are beautiful and unique. I had always wanted to see how my physical endurance would play out with a vaginal birth but two emergency c sections also tested my strength in a different way. In many ways a c section was scarier for me than a vaginal birth, I hated the feeling of not being to feel or move my entire lower body and worried about the longer recovery time. Both births were also much more eventful than I expected but I remained calm and adjusted my mindset as things developed. While it was not what I had wanted initially, I will always look back on my births with pride and joy. I can’t believe that I am now the mother of two sweet little boys!

Third trimester – second pregnancy

Pregnancy, Uncategorized

After enjoying the second trimester, it was time to enter the final trimester! I definitely remember feeling much heavier and slower during the third trimester with my first pregnancy and it was no different for my second pregnancy. Similar to other semesters, I did not have as much time to rest since I had to take care of Lex. Overall I still felt pretty good and I was still taking Lex to his playgroup and lifting him and all that, but there were definitely days where it was tougher.

At times my stomach would feel so stretched and distended, but it would usually feel more comfortable once the baby moves further back and is not pushing against my skin. As I got bigger and heavier I also started to walk a bit differently – it was definitely a waddle! The back pain that started around late second trimester was still there and it often happened when I was laying down and would go away when I shifted positions. I felt like my lower back and hip pain was more intense during this pregnancy. It was very uncomfortable constantly and I had to shift around and stretch a little to relieve it.

I also had way less energy and motivation to do any structured workouts. I seriously felt like just existing was already a workout! Walking around was getting tough and the back pain was very uncomfortable. I was still out and about quite a bit so that was good enough for me. I would also go to the pool with Lex and Jerry and floating around in those final weeks was very comfortable.

Apart from the discomfort, we still filled our days with lots of activities including ocean park, alpaca farms, and sport activities for lex. However, it was getting to the peak of summer and the hot weather was becoming quite unbearable for me. I felt quite light headed a few times during the outings so I knew I had to be more careful.

One special thing we had to organize was Lex’s second birthday! We invited some good friends

I had a small scare during 32 weeks as I felt a small amount of liquid come out. Since I did have premature rupture of membranes during my first pregnancy and it started my entire 36 hour ordeal before giving birth to Lex, I wanted to be extra cautious. I was pretty sure it was either pee or discharge but told my doctor anyway. He told me to put in a light pad and to monitor how wet it got after an hour. If it was very wet and odorless, I would have to go to Queen Mary (a public hospital) because I was only at 32 weeks and the baby would be too premature for a private hospital to deal with. I was pretty worried but luckily after an hour the pad was only slightly moist and it smelled like urine. I never thought I would be so happy about leaky urine! Both my doctor and the midwife feel like it is likely urine and that I should not have to worry about it, but to continue monitoring it anyways. Leaking urine during pregnancy (especially during the third trimester) is very common due to extra pressure on the bladder and also changing hormones, but given my past experience I think it is ALWAYS better to be safe that sorry. Premature rupture of membranes or leaking amniotic fluid can have very detrimental affects for your unborn baby and it is always better to be sure.

Another issue I had to deal with during my third trimester was a possible listeria scare. I had watery diarrhea on a Thursday and then slightly looser stool until Monday. I didn’t have to go multiple times a day and overall felt ok but was worried since it was going on for a few days. Listeria is also very scary because the symptoms can be extremely mild and some people don’t even know they have it! Untreated listeria can have terrible effects on your baby such as neurological disorders and even stillborn. I called up my doctor and he referred me to a family doctor. Apparently a blood PCR or stool test to properly diagnose whether I had listeria would take 1-2 weeks, which was ridiculous! I decided to just be extra safe and started the course of antibiotics without doing the tests. It’s not ideal that I have to take medications during my pregnancy but I rather be extra cautious, and the antibiotics prescribed are also totally safe for my pregnancy. It was frustrating as I have been mostly eating at home in the days leading up to my upset tummy, but I tried to be even more careful in the final few weeks before delivery.

The final weeks are truly so uncomfortable and I am so ready to not be pregnant!

Second trimester – second pregnancy

Pregnancy, Uncategorized

The second trimester is the golden period of pregnancy and I really felt great during this time. The nausea was all gone and I had more energy than before. It almost feels like I’m not pregnant!

One major difference between this pregnancy and the first one is that I have a wild toddler to take care of. In the first pregnancy, I could rest and relax as much as I wanted. With the second pregnancy, I didn’t really have that much time to think about being pregnant and wistfully prepare for the arrival of the baby. Lex also still does not sleep through the night so that was definitely tough to deal with while pregnant. I was really struggling with the first trimester as I felt sick and fatigued often. Lex is super energetic and also has strong emotions so it’s not always easy with him. We still had our wonderful part time helper but she only came for half days so mornings were typically quite tough for me when I was not feeling my best during the first trimester. That is why the easiness of the second trimester was more appreciated than ever in this pregnancy.

Lots of fun activities with Lex during my pregnancy

In my first pregnancy, I was still navigating different workouts and getting used to my fitness and energy level during pregnancy. With the second pregnancy, I had a better idea of what worked and didn’t work. I got a walking pad and I would do walking exercises a few times a week. I also continued to do prenatal workouts with BodyFitbyAmy. I did not run at all during my first pregnancy but did a run once a week until week 20. I had felt pretty good during my runs, but by week 19 I was getting a painful stitch every time I ran so I knew it was time to stop. I was bummed that I couldn’t run anymore but the walking pad was really helpful and I did walks at home frequently. It was super convenient and I was really glad that I was able to keep up with a low impact workout. Pregnancy is no time to push the limit and set new fitness goals, all I wanted was to keep moving and feel good. I was really happy with my workout frequency in the second trimester and I would work out 3-4 times in the weekdays and weekends would be quality time with Jerry and Lex that often included walks and time at the pool or beach.

Of course another exciting part of the second trimester is that we get to find out the gender of our baby! We were so thrilled to find out that we were having another little boy! I have loved being a boy mom so much and we were so excited to have another little monkey to chase after. However, it is also the time when you get annoying comments from random people. People LOVE to ask about whether it’s a girl (which is mostly harmless), but some even have the nerve to look really sad or sorry for me when I say I am having another boy. I don’t understand why it’s so hard for some people to grasp that perhaps not everyone wants one boy and one girl? It’s so weird that some people assume every wants that. I am perfectly happy being a boy mom and it’s so rude of people to make negative and presumptuous comments. It is especially irritating when I’ve already stated that I am happy to have two boys and people still want to say something dumb like “but a girl would be so nice!”. Irritating comments aside, we are always super excited to find out the gender of our baby. It is also the time we find out the results for the NIPT, and it’s always a relief to know that every thing is normal. Once we knew it was a boy, I was so excited to start nesting and take out Lex’s cute old clothes for baby brother.

Having a second boy also made selecting the name easy. We had two final names narrowed down when we had Lex and we picked Alexander because we felt it fit him better. We also loved the other name and we had agreed that if we had a second son we would use that name. We did do a tiny bit of name research anyways but I already had my heart set on that name.

Due to the hormones, I had to get up in the middle of the night to pee during the first trimester. Luckily this started to go away in the 2nd trimester. I also suspect that I felt some baby movement around week 16 but the movements became more obvious at week 18. One very uncomfortable symptom was that my allergies got horrendously worse during pregnancy. I always had nasal allergies but it was very severe during my pregnancy. I also did not want to take allergy medicine during pregnancy so it was tough to deal with. This was particularly unfortunate during Covid times, when I would be sneezing and sniffling nonstop. Another annoying symptom was that my lower back was starting to get quite sore as I neared the end of my 2nd trimester.

In terms of breastfeeding, my milk supply also completely dried up during the 2nd trimester. Lex still asked for milk and was just dry nursing at this point. I think he just liked the comfort from the suckling. We had mostly night weaned by now and Lex would nurse around 3 times a day.

Generally this trimester was great and I felt pretty good until near the end. I was gaining weight at a pace that I was comfortable with. The dry scalp from first trimester was also gone. One thing I noticed is that I did not get a linea negra on my belly this time. It was very prominent with the first pregnancy but I did not get it this time during the second trimester, perhaps it will show up later in the third trimester!