Preparing Lex for the new baby, their first meeting, and how it’s going!

Family, Motherhood, Pregnancy, Uncategorized

Welcoming a new baby to the family is super exciting but we also need to make sure the older sibling is properly prepped! It is a big adjustment for the older child, they are wondering who this new person is and whether they are still loved like they were before. Each child will react differently and it’s important for parents to be there for them during this big transition. Lex has a strong personality and is extremely attached to me, so we wanted to make sure we did everything we could to make the adjustment as smooth as possible. We expected Lex to be quite jealous of the baby because he was still nursing and he also gets quite territorial with me when Jerry hugs or touches me. However, we also noticed that Lex loves babies and is super gentle and loving to smaller babies in the playground! We did a number of things to prepare Lex for the baby before his arrival and also have some tips for what to do after the baby arrives. We hope this will be helpful if you are going to welcome a lovely little sibling soon!

Here are some things that we did to prepare Lex for his new baby brother:

Read books about welcoming a new baby: We ordered a number of super cute books about welcoming a new baby, mom being pregnant. and becoming a big brother. There are lots online and you can find ones that match with your situation (becoming a big sister or brother etc). Some of are favorite include “My new baby” by Rachel Fuller, “I am a big brother” by Caroline Church, “There’s a house inside my mummy” by Giles Andreae, and we also made a personalized one from Wonderbly.
Talk about the baby: Lex will be 2 when the baby arrives so he was able to understand quite a bit. We spoke about how the baby was inside my belly and how a baby brother would join us soon. We spoke about baby brother often and Lex was really excited to meet him!
Got a present from the baby for Lex: We picked a gift that Lex would love (little wooden train) and told him that it was from his baby brother. Lex was super excited and happy that he was receiving a gift from the baby and this definitely helped develop positive feelings towards the baby. Some websites also suggest having the older sibling pick a gift for the new baby but we felt like Lex would just want to keep it for himself, so we didn’t do that bit.
Took Lex to the doctor’s appointment: we brought Lex a few times to the ultrasound appointment! He was very curious to meet the doctor and to see baby brother with the “special camera”. It was such a special experience and we loved that he was part of the process also.

All these actions seemed to have a positive effect on Lex and he always spoke about baby brother happily. He was excited to meet him and even told him “to come out soon” during the final few weeks. It was so sweet and I felt pretty confident in our preparations for their meeting.

One of my most anticipated moments (apart from meeting Bas), was to see my two boys meet for the first time. I read that you should have the newborn in a neutral position when the older child comes for the first time. This way the older child does not feel threatened and you are also supposed to let them discover the baby on their own. I placed Bas on his little bassinet next to the bed before Lex arrived and made sure I wasn’t nursing or holding Bas. Lex came in and was really excited to see me. We did not tell him about the baby but he gasped when he realized the baby was there. He was so thrilled to see Bas and it completely melted my heart! It was everything I had hoped for and more. Lex was the sweetest most gentle big brother and you could see how much he adored Bas. It is true when they say that your heart just grows in size when you have another child. My heart could burst with love as Lex cradled Bas in his arms and gave him small kisses. I was so proud of my big boy for being such a sweet big brother.

After we brought Bas home, Lex continues to be the sweet and caring big brother. It really is amazing to see how much they adore each other. Bas is always excited to see Lex and smiles. Of course, Lex has his moments and sometimes will be mad at Bas. If Lex is in a bad mood and Bas needs to nurse (I am tandem nursing both), sometimes Lex will smack Bas on the head or try to hurt him in some way. However, this rarely occurs and Lex is mostly excited to help and dote on Bas. Some things that we found helpful were:

Don’t blame things on the baby: when you can’t do something with the toddler such as reading or playing because you are doing something for the baby, don’t say “I cant do ____ because I am ____ with the baby”. This may cause the toddler to resent the baby. Make up some other excuse not related to the baby. We did this in the beginning but after a few months I felt like Bas and Lex’s relationship was secure enough and Lex also had to understand that he needed to be patient, so I stopped doing this. I would tell Lex that Bas is doing this right now and he needs to wait etc.
Let the toddler feel helpful: We always ask Lex to help with Bas, this makes him feel appreciated and included. We might ask him to bring a diaper or to sing for Bas when he is crying.
Talk about how much the baby loves the toddler: I genuinely think that Bas is delighted to see Lex, but I make it into a whole story and tell Lex “Bas loves you so much!” or “Bas loves learning from you, you can teach him so many things!” etc. and Lex is happy to hear it also.
Spend extra quality time with the older child: we were super lucky that the transition period went so smoothly. Lex always asks for Bas to join in whatever outing we go to. Sometimes we say “should we bring Bas?” and Lex always says yes! However, I think it’s also important for Lex and I to spend some quality time so now we do date lunch once a week. I say it’s our special time to reconnect and Lex always looks forward to it.

The transition period has been so smooth and it always warms my heart to see how much Bas and Lex love each other. I hope that they will be best buddies for life and I can’t wait to see how their relationship develops.

Birth story – second pregnancy

Family, Motherhood, Pregnancy, Uncategorized

Things have been so busy with two littles one and I am finally ready to share my birth story after 9 months!

After a super eventful birth story for my first pregnancy, I was really hoping to have a smoother delivery for my second baby. Of course things never seem to go to plan and I find out that my boys like to make their own grand entrance!

After having an emergency c section with Lex, I was really hoping for a VBAC (vaginal birth after c section) for this pregnancy. I had a wonderful experience with Dr. Ghosh for my first pregnancy and was excited to have him again for my second pregnancy. I communicated my wish for a VBAC to him and he was fully supportive, however, he was also realistic and told me to keep my options open. There are a number of factors that make you a good candidate for VBAC and conditions leading up to the birth also need to line up in order for it to happen. A VBAC can only happen if all these criterions are met.

In the weeks leading up to my due date, the baby was measuring pretty big from 3.5 kg in week 37 to 3.7 kg in week 38! Dr. Ghosh also said that he was underestimating the measurement and it was likely that the baby was even bigger. I know that there are a lot of instances where women are completely capable of birthing a large baby, but personally I was getting a little concerned with the size of the baby and how it would make labor and birth more difficult. Dr. Ghosh also said that the baby was starting to get a bit cramped inside so he was in a transverse position, which is not ideal for a smooth vaginal birth. Dr. Ghosh kept joking that I married the wrong husband (who is 6’4) for a vaginal delivery haha! Dr. Ghosh was very frank with us and told us that he thinks it would be best to have a scheduled c section. He also told us that due to scar tissue, it would be very dangerous to have another emergency c section if I was in advanced labor. The surgery would be much more difficult and the risk of complications was high. I was slightly disappointed but I also trust his judgement completely so we felt at peace with the decision. Ultimately, the most important thing is that the delivery is safe for me and the baby.

Our scheduled c section was on July 28, Thursday. We actually felt quite relieved that we had a date and that we didn’t have to wait around to wait for labor to start unexpectedly. However, on Sunday night I started feeling some mild cramping that would come and go. I thought it was Braxton Hicks so decided to go to bed. At 3 am, I woke up from the cramps and couldn’t get back to sleep. I was still thinking it was Braxton Hicks so I decided to walk around and see if it would go away. I searched on my phone and read a few articles about differentiating between real contractions and Braxton Hicks. As I was scuttling around the room, Jerry woke up and asked me what I was doing. I felt that that the cramps were coming at a frequent pace so decided to time the cramps. I was shocked when I realized they were coming every 3-5 minutes! Deep down I had a feeling things were happening but I was still in slight disbelief. I decided to call Matilda just in case and the midwife told me to come in. I was hoping we didn’t have to rush to the hospital at 3 am. We cosleep so Lex was sound asleep in our bed and I felt so sad to leave him like that and have him wake up in the morning confused and wondering where we have gone. If we did end up having the baby today this would mean 4-5 nights away from home and this was not the goodbye I had envisioned with Lex. We woke up our helper and finished packing up some final things into our hospital bag before rushing out the door.

On the ride to the hospital, I was starting to feel like I had to use the bathroom for #2 badly. I also started to feel very nauseas and wanted to throw up. With these symptoms I started to accept that fact that I was in fact in labor. We got to the hospital and they were ready for me and started the check in process. Due to the pandemic, we had to do a RAT and a PCR test to ensure I was negative. It was a bit nerve wrecking since I was pretty sure we were ok, but it was not 100% certain. For my scheduled c section, I was supposed to come in either the day before or hours before my admission to do the PCR test. Private hospitals do not accept patients that have covid and they have to deliver at public hospitals – so it was quite a tense time while we waited for the results. While we were waiting for the urgent PCR result, I went into a room (not in the maternity unit) and they started to monitor the baby’s heart rate and also the contractions. The midwife confirmed that they were indeed real contractions and not Braxton Hicks. I asked her whether this meant it was likely we would have the baby today and she said yes!

Everything was on standby while we waited for the PCR result and they had not contacted Dr. Ghosh yet. I was a bit worried and asked whether they would transport me to the public hospital if I was positive, to my relief they said since I was already in labor they would not do that and would instead put me in a special isolation room. I was relieved to hear I would not be carted off and luckily my result was also negative! I had asked the midwife whether it was still possible to try vaginal birth and she said she would check with Dr. Ghosh. With the PCR result out of the way, they phoned Dr. Ghosh and I heard her tone on the phone suddenly change. The mood suddenly changed and the midwife rushed back in and asked me to use a surgical body wash on my lower abdomen. She says that Dr. Ghosh is concerned because I have had contractions for a long time but it has not progressed properly. We need to move as fast as possible or else the risk of complications will be high if the emergency c section is performed late into labor. We had to rush to the operation theatre for an emergency c section!

Jerry and I were caught off guard and did not expect things to escalate so quickly. Lots of other medical personnel were rushing in and out to check wristbands, take blood, and sign forms. The midwife was contacting other doctors such as the anesthesiologist, pediatrician, and nurses that needed to help out with the operation. The midwife who was with me from the beginning was incredibly sweet and chatty so she definitely made me feel better about the entire situation. I was personally feeling quite calm but it was quite a shock how quickly the pace picked up. I also trusted my doctor and this hospital fully so I knew I was in good hands. Dr. Ghosh came in and gave me a look of disbelief when I asked one last time about a possible VBAC.

Once we were in the operation theatre the anesthesiologist gave me a spinal block and soon I could not move or feel my legs. I really hated that feeling and kept trying to move my toes ala Kill Bill (if you know the scene where Uma Thurman just wakes up from her coma). It was a futile action but I was just curious whether I could do it, but it made me nauseous whenever I tried. The anesthesiologist was really funny and chatty, he played a fun music playlist where every song had the word “baby” in it. I was feeling quite nauseous with the anesthesia and the doctor gave me something to help with the nausea. It helped slightly but I was still feeling quite sickly. I remember not feeling great the first pregnancy but perhaps because I was already so drained, it did not affect me as much. I was more alert and in a normal state of mind for this delivery so the nausea from the anesthesia had a stronger negative affect on me.

At 7:41 our beautiful little boy Sebastian was born! He was crying super loud and was whisked off to be checked by the pediatrician. I was a bit surprised since with Lex he was instantly placed on my chest. I had requested skin to skin as soon as possible with both births so I felt a little impatient while waiting for Bas to be placed on me. It felt like an eternity and I kept looking around to see when they would be done inspecting Bas and I could finally meet my baby.. By the time they placed him on me he was already wrapped up but luckily we got lots of skin to skin back in our room later. He calmed down instantly once he was placed on me and it was such a beautiful and sweet moment. Jerry and Bas went to the nursery to have Bas cleaned and weighed while I was stitched back up. As expected, Bas was a big boy at 3.9 kg! The stitching part of the operation takes a while and I could not wait to get back to the room with Jerry and our new baby!

The birth was once again not what we expected at all but what was most important is that both me and Bas are doing well. I do sometimes wonder what it would be like to have a vaginal birth and I am slightly disappointed that I will never get to experience it. After two c sections all subsequent pregnancies will be c sections – but I am also at peace with how things turned out and I believe all births are beautiful and unique. I had always wanted to see how my physical endurance would play out with a vaginal birth but two emergency c sections also tested my strength in a different way. In many ways a c section was scarier for me than a vaginal birth, I hated the feeling of not being to feel or move my entire lower body and worried about the longer recovery time. Both births were also much more eventful than I expected but I remained calm and adjusted my mindset as things developed. While it was not what I had wanted initially, I will always look back on my births with pride and joy. I can’t believe that I am now the mother of two sweet little boys!

Third trimester – second pregnancy

Pregnancy, Uncategorized

After enjoying the second trimester, it was time to enter the final trimester! I definitely remember feeling much heavier and slower during the third trimester with my first pregnancy and it was no different for my second pregnancy. Similar to other semesters, I did not have as much time to rest since I had to take care of Lex. Overall I still felt pretty good and I was still taking Lex to his playgroup and lifting him and all that, but there were definitely days where it was tougher.

At times my stomach would feel so stretched and distended, but it would usually feel more comfortable once the baby moves further back and is not pushing against my skin. As I got bigger and heavier I also started to walk a bit differently – it was definitely a waddle! The back pain that started around late second trimester was still there and it often happened when I was laying down and would go away when I shifted positions. I felt like my lower back and hip pain was more intense during this pregnancy. It was very uncomfortable constantly and I had to shift around and stretch a little to relieve it.

I also had way less energy and motivation to do any structured workouts. I seriously felt like just existing was already a workout! Walking around was getting tough and the back pain was very uncomfortable. I was still out and about quite a bit so that was good enough for me. I would also go to the pool with Lex and Jerry and floating around in those final weeks was very comfortable.

Apart from the discomfort, we still filled our days with lots of activities including ocean park, alpaca farms, and sport activities for lex. However, it was getting to the peak of summer and the hot weather was becoming quite unbearable for me. I felt quite light headed a few times during the outings so I knew I had to be more careful.

One special thing we had to organize was Lex’s second birthday! We invited some good friends

I had a small scare during 32 weeks as I felt a small amount of liquid come out. Since I did have premature rupture of membranes during my first pregnancy and it started my entire 36 hour ordeal before giving birth to Lex, I wanted to be extra cautious. I was pretty sure it was either pee or discharge but told my doctor anyway. He told me to put in a light pad and to monitor how wet it got after an hour. If it was very wet and odorless, I would have to go to Queen Mary (a public hospital) because I was only at 32 weeks and the baby would be too premature for a private hospital to deal with. I was pretty worried but luckily after an hour the pad was only slightly moist and it smelled like urine. I never thought I would be so happy about leaky urine! Both my doctor and the midwife feel like it is likely urine and that I should not have to worry about it, but to continue monitoring it anyways. Leaking urine during pregnancy (especially during the third trimester) is very common due to extra pressure on the bladder and also changing hormones, but given my past experience I think it is ALWAYS better to be safe that sorry. Premature rupture of membranes or leaking amniotic fluid can have very detrimental affects for your unborn baby and it is always better to be sure.

Another issue I had to deal with during my third trimester was a possible listeria scare. I had watery diarrhea on a Thursday and then slightly looser stool until Monday. I didn’t have to go multiple times a day and overall felt ok but was worried since it was going on for a few days. Listeria is also very scary because the symptoms can be extremely mild and some people don’t even know they have it! Untreated listeria can have terrible effects on your baby such as neurological disorders and even stillborn. I called up my doctor and he referred me to a family doctor. Apparently a blood PCR or stool test to properly diagnose whether I had listeria would take 1-2 weeks, which was ridiculous! I decided to just be extra safe and started the course of antibiotics without doing the tests. It’s not ideal that I have to take medications during my pregnancy but I rather be extra cautious, and the antibiotics prescribed are also totally safe for my pregnancy. It was frustrating as I have been mostly eating at home in the days leading up to my upset tummy, but I tried to be even more careful in the final few weeks before delivery.

The final weeks are truly so uncomfortable and I am so ready to not be pregnant!

Second trimester – second pregnancy

Pregnancy, Uncategorized

The second trimester is the golden period of pregnancy and I really felt great during this time. The nausea was all gone and I had more energy than before. It almost feels like I’m not pregnant!

One major difference between this pregnancy and the first one is that I have a wild toddler to take care of. In the first pregnancy, I could rest and relax as much as I wanted. With the second pregnancy, I didn’t really have that much time to think about being pregnant and wistfully prepare for the arrival of the baby. Lex also still does not sleep through the night so that was definitely tough to deal with while pregnant. I was really struggling with the first trimester as I felt sick and fatigued often. Lex is super energetic and also has strong emotions so it’s not always easy with him. We still had our wonderful part time helper but she only came for half days so mornings were typically quite tough for me when I was not feeling my best during the first trimester. That is why the easiness of the second trimester was more appreciated than ever in this pregnancy.

Lots of fun activities with Lex during my pregnancy

In my first pregnancy, I was still navigating different workouts and getting used to my fitness and energy level during pregnancy. With the second pregnancy, I had a better idea of what worked and didn’t work. I got a walking pad and I would do walking exercises a few times a week. I also continued to do prenatal workouts with BodyFitbyAmy. I did not run at all during my first pregnancy but did a run once a week until week 20. I had felt pretty good during my runs, but by week 19 I was getting a painful stitch every time I ran so I knew it was time to stop. I was bummed that I couldn’t run anymore but the walking pad was really helpful and I did walks at home frequently. It was super convenient and I was really glad that I was able to keep up with a low impact workout. Pregnancy is no time to push the limit and set new fitness goals, all I wanted was to keep moving and feel good. I was really happy with my workout frequency in the second trimester and I would work out 3-4 times in the weekdays and weekends would be quality time with Jerry and Lex that often included walks and time at the pool or beach.

Of course another exciting part of the second trimester is that we get to find out the gender of our baby! We were so thrilled to find out that we were having another little boy! I have loved being a boy mom so much and we were so excited to have another little monkey to chase after. However, it is also the time when you get annoying comments from random people. People LOVE to ask about whether it’s a girl (which is mostly harmless), but some even have the nerve to look really sad or sorry for me when I say I am having another boy. I don’t understand why it’s so hard for some people to grasp that perhaps not everyone wants one boy and one girl? It’s so weird that some people assume every wants that. I am perfectly happy being a boy mom and it’s so rude of people to make negative and presumptuous comments. It is especially irritating when I’ve already stated that I am happy to have two boys and people still want to say something dumb like “but a girl would be so nice!”. Irritating comments aside, we are always super excited to find out the gender of our baby. It is also the time we find out the results for the NIPT, and it’s always a relief to know that every thing is normal. Once we knew it was a boy, I was so excited to start nesting and take out Lex’s cute old clothes for baby brother.

Having a second boy also made selecting the name easy. We had two final names narrowed down when we had Lex and we picked Alexander because we felt it fit him better. We also loved the other name and we had agreed that if we had a second son we would use that name. We did do a tiny bit of name research anyways but I already had my heart set on that name.

Due to the hormones, I had to get up in the middle of the night to pee during the first trimester. Luckily this started to go away in the 2nd trimester. I also suspect that I felt some baby movement around week 16 but the movements became more obvious at week 18. One very uncomfortable symptom was that my allergies got horrendously worse during pregnancy. I always had nasal allergies but it was very severe during my pregnancy. I also did not want to take allergy medicine during pregnancy so it was tough to deal with. This was particularly unfortunate during Covid times, when I would be sneezing and sniffling nonstop. Another annoying symptom was that my lower back was starting to get quite sore as I neared the end of my 2nd trimester.

In terms of breastfeeding, my milk supply also completely dried up during the 2nd trimester. Lex still asked for milk and was just dry nursing at this point. I think he just liked the comfort from the suckling. We had mostly night weaned by now and Lex would nurse around 3 times a day.

Generally this trimester was great and I felt pretty good until near the end. I was gaining weight at a pace that I was comfortable with. The dry scalp from first trimester was also gone. One thing I noticed is that I did not get a linea negra on my belly this time. It was very prominent with the first pregnancy but I did not get it this time during the second trimester, perhaps it will show up later in the third trimester!

Postpartum fitness (first pregnancy) – Months 4-6… hit a slump then it’s time to take it to the next level!

Fitness, Motherhood, Pregnancy, Uncategorized

These few months really showed me what a roller coaster the postpartum fitness journey was! After seeing some improvements, especially with my run, I hit a wall and suddenly had a very tough workout. Even at my fittest, I could just have an off day – but it was still very frustrating. There were times where I felt like I was never going to be as fit again, but I knew that had to get out of that headspace and remind myself that I had setbacks during my Ironman training too. There were days where I felt like I was not improving at all, but of course all the training paid off in the end when I completed my Ironman and did it below my goal time! Some days may be tough, but I needed to always keep in mind that hard work and perseverance always win in the end.

During Christmas, I decided to take a week long break and indulge. Of course, there was nothing wrong with that but it also was a bit of a drag to get back to training. I was still working out at around the same frequency as the 2-4 months period but with a little bit more intensity. My birthday followed after Christmas and it was another few days of indulgent eating. After that, I decided it was time to take it up a notch. It has been 6 months since I gave birth. I felt like I had given myself ample time to recover and I could push myself a bit more now.

We had started to do family hikes on Sunday and were initially doing a gentle and flat hike. I decided that we were going to start doing the Twins every Sunday instead. For those not in Hong Kong, the Twins is a relatively tough hike with a lot of stairs. It is a great workout! The timing worked out perfectly with Lex’s growth because he was now able to hang out in the carrier for a longer period of time without getting fussy. Major shout out to my husband who carried this little 18 pound weight during the entire hike!

I also decided to increase my trainer rides from 30 minutes to an hour and to follow a training program. I did not do all the programs of the week because there were 3 and that was too much, but I did 2 of them per week. This was the same program that I used for my race trainings. It felt nice to follow a structured program and that I was dedicating more time to building my bike fitness again. Bike fitness was my toughest discipline during triathlon and it took me a while to develop my bike fitness. However, it was sometimes hard to do a full hour ride with an energetic baby around. Luckily we have a helper who is wonderful with Lex and he was starting to accept the bottle more.

Another fun workout that I started doing were couple run + HIIT circuits with Jerry! It’s not always easy to find time for one another so I decided to make one of our workouts into a “date” activity. We would run to the beach together and then do HIIT circuits such as squat jumps, mountain climbers, and lunges. It was so exciting to be able to do mountain climbers like my pre pregnancy self, when I could hardly do a few when I had just gotten back to working out postpartum!

We also continued to do fun and active family outings together. One activity was kayaking and swimming together! Jerry and I both love an active lifestyle and we hope that we can instill that love in Lex too. One highlight was participating in the our triathlon team’s swim/run event. Jerry and I participated together and even brought Lex! We did a relay so we passed Lex to each other when it was our turn to swim or run. It was such a fun event and also gave me back a taste of the exhilaration and joy of racing.

I also told my personal trainer my plans of leveling up my workouts and she was happy to oblige. We started increasing the weights and intensity and it was very motivating to feel myself get stronger and stronger!

I definitely felt a big difference after all the changes I made to my workout regime and it was incredibly motivating. Due to the pandemic, we were unable to travel for races. It is difficult to work up to race fitness without a race to train for, but I was happy to get myself back to my base fitness. The postpartum fitness journey was very humbling, it was definitely harder than I expected! I am very proud of myself for finding the balance between giving my body time and pushing myself.

First trimester – second pregnancy

Motherhood, Pregnancy, Uncategorized

I can’t believe this is round two for me! I was pretty lucky to have a relatively smooth pregnancy with only some symptoms so it will be interesting to see whether this pregnancy will be similar.

Unfortunately the first thing I noticed was that the morning sickness was WAY worse this time around. It could also be due to the fact that I found out my pregnancy while we were in a 3 week hotel quarantine. The lack of fresh air and being stuck in a hotel room definitely made things worse. I felt so unwell and really just wanted to be in bed all day. I had to get my act together though because I had to play with Lex and make sure he was taken care of during the quarantine. It was definitely a pretty tough experience and once we got out and had some fresh air I already felt slightly better. In my first pregnancy, I did feel a bit nauseous but I would never actually throw up. I did projectile vomit a few times this pregnancy, especially if I had an overly indulgent meal. I also noticed that I had a lot of saliva which is apparently another symptom of morning sickness. I usually felt better after eating and certain foods that I usually loved seems absolutely repulsive to me (like salmon!). I also had to burp quite a bit, especially after eating. The nausea got better around 8 weeks but then got worse again by 9 weeks… yay for 1 week of respite. Lex also got quite sick around then so I was also extra tired and not sleeping well from taking care of him. Thankfully, the nausea went away completely by 11/12, which was similar to my first pregnancy.

Feeling totally horrid during quarantine but cuddles help!

Another difference was how TIRED I felt this pregnancy. It is normal to be fatigued during the first trimester but I definitely felt this way more this time. With my first pregnancy, I could rest and sleep as much as I wanted, but now I had a wild toddler to take care of. Lex also is still not sleeping through the night and I alway respond and support him over night, so it was definitely tough to be doing both that and also going through the first trimester. I took Lex to his playgroup 3 times a week and we also continued to do fun things as a family on weekends. We did not have full time helper (our part time comes at 12 pm) so mornings were also quite tough for me since I was on my own. Some days I find myself almost dozing off while reading to Lex!

I have read that women show more quickly during the second pregnancy and this was definitely true for me! I felt like I already looked slightly pregnant at 8 weeks. I remember with my first pregnancy I didn’t really look properly pregnant until 5-6 months. Some other symptoms include a very annoyingly dry scalp. My scalp would be very itchy and dry and flakes of skin would come off. I also noticed my c section scar darkening a bit.

Not feeling great but I have to keep up with my little man!

I am still breastfeeding Lex and this was a little uncomfortable because nipples become quite sensitive during pregnancy. Overall it is doable but there are times when it hurts quite a bit. Luckily he is slowly feeding more and we are also gently night weaning him (more on that in another post!). My milk supply also seemed to be reduced but I was still producing milk.

Overall I think my two pregnancies have been relatively similar and luckily no major discomforts. I am looking forward to the second trimester!

Baby #2!

Pregnancy, Uncategorized

We have always wanted more than one child and when Lex was 12 months we were ready to start planning for baby #2. Unfortunately at the time of when we were ready to start trying, I still did not have my period yet due to breastfeeding. We had started trying anyways even without my period because sometimes you are lucky and catch the first egg, but that didn’t happen for us. If you read my last post you would know that I was able to get my period back at 14 months.

For my first pregnancy we were super lucky and got pregnant on the first try, we did not use any ovulation tests or period tracking at all since we were just starting out and wanted to just go with the flow. However, since we were already a tiny bit behind schedule with my period I decided to use ovulation tests this time to be as efficient as possible. We also don’t have as much time and energy to get frisky as often as when we were childfree. I quickly learnt that it took a little bit of practice to read an ovulation test properly. I found this guide to be very helpful. Basically in ovulation tests there is a test line and the control line. The tests indicate the LH amount in your urine and you ovulation after an LH surge. You have LH throughout your cycle so its possible to see two lines throughout your cycle. It is important to realize this because with pregnancy tests two lines mean you are pregnant! What you want to see is a test line that is as dark or darker than the control line, indicating a LH surge. Once you have the surge, you should ovulate in the next 24-48 hours (which means its time to get busy!).

I initially bought a 5 pack from the drug store and quickly learnt that 5 was definitely not enough. My period had just came back so it was still quite sporadic and I had no idea when I would ovulate. The typical ovulation period is day 14 of a typical 28 day cycle but it could range a lot between women. I downloaded a super useful app called PreMom that tells me when I should be ovulating and when to start testing. I bought a big pack of ovulation strips from Amazon, which I found to be way more useful for someone who is just starting to figure out their ovulation schedule. I started at day 7 as the app recommended and was slightly disappointed when day 14, 15, and 16 passed and I did not get a positive result. I was starting to wonder if the tests were working but many reviews on Amazon said to BE PATIENT and luckily I kept testing because I did not get my LH surge until day 29! Unfortunately, we did not get pregnant the first try but the tests did give me an idea of when to test. Since I knew my cycle was all over the place and my surge was way later, I decided to not test until day 16. I also kept an eye on cervical fluid because you want to be looking out for raw egg white texture, which means you are ovulating soon. On this cycle I was able to find my peak at day 18! It was really interesting to see how my cycle was shifting. Because of the ovulation test, we were able to ensure that we got busy during my most fertile days. All there was left to do was to wait around 14 days and do a pregnancy test!

All this happened while we were in Holland and we were back in Hong Kong doing our 3 week quarantine. I was starting to feel super hot all the time and would break out in sweat right after I ate. Jerry and I kept fighting over the thermostat because I was hot and he was freezing. I started to feel like something was up because Jerry is usually much warmer than me. I decided to take a pregnancy test a few days early and saw a super faint line!! I was so excited but it was also a weird feeling since the line was so incredibly faint. I read that in that case you should wait a feel days to allow the HCG levels (the hormone that pregnancy tests detect) to increase and to test again. It was so difficult to wait and I took another one in 3-4 days and the line was MUCH darker. It’s confirmed!

Using the ovulation strips was very helpful and it allowed us to make sure we got busy on my most fertile days. For this pregnancy we got pregnant at my second cycle. I think the ovulation strips were particularly important this time because my cycle was all over the place. As parents of an energetic toddler, it was really helpful to have extra information to make the baby making process more efficient. I hope that this post helps other parents who are also TTC! Lex was 16 months when we got the good news so the age difference will be 25 months.

We can’t believe we are going to have another baby and feel so blessed to be able to welcome another little love into our family!

Postpartum fitness journey (first pregnancy) – Months 0-4: slow but steady progress

Fitness, Motherhood, Pregnancy, Uncategorized

The postpartum fitness journey has been a roller coaster! There are days where I feel strong and like I am making great progress, then suddenly I feel unfit and weak again. I was very lucky to have a very smooth c-section recovery. I was able to move the next day and walk around. I hear from friends that some have intense pain and need to stay in bed so I was very grateful that I felt fine and was totally mobile. I did have to extra careful when I was getting up and to not strain my ab muscles. I hardly had any pain in my wound but the edges of the wound felt a little tender. My doctor gave me panadol and some stronger meds but I did not need to use the stronger meds at all and only a little bit of panadol. After I got home, I was able to hang and fold some laundry. In a week I was also able to cook again! I was able to hold and breastfeed Lex with zero problems. I went back to see my doctor 1 week post op to remove the plaster and 2 weeks post op to put on on a scar minimization bandaid. I really took it easy and did not do much until at least week 6 as recommended by my doctor.

During the months of 2-4, it was mostly quite positive and I felt like I was making good progress. However, I was also feeling stuck on whether I should be pushing myself harder or be taking things slower. I did not want to give myself too much pressure and to give my body some time, but I also like being challenged and enjoyed feeling fit and strong. I decided to create a fitness plan for myself but with some more flexibility to fit in my current fitness and lifestyle as a new mom. I also made sure to track my progress and to have a plan of how to continually improve and increase the intensity or duration of my workouts.

Back when I was training properly for triathlons, I was on a super strict workout regime and basically followed everything to a T. I hardly missed a workout and if I did I might move it to the next day to make up for it. With my postpartum workout plan, it was no longer possible to follow a strict daily workout and instead I made a workout plan that included ranges of what I wanted to achieve in a week such as “1-2 runs” or “1-2 Youtube workouts”. I also did not link each workout to a day because I never know whether that day I will be super busy with Lex or be exhausted after a tough night. I enjoyed having a loose guideline of what my workouts should look like so I had some sense of direction but it also did not restrict or stressed me out too much. My plan was to work out 5-6 times a week but I would not beat myself up if I sometimes only worked out 4 times a week.

By 9 weeks, I was moving into high intensity workouts such as HIIT (high intensity interval training). I was still doing some postpartum workouts but was slowly starting to do regular workouts also. By 10 weeks, I was no longer doing postpartum workouts and was also starting to do the advanced moves in the regular workouts (Bodyfit by Amy gives you lots of options for all fitness levels, I also tried out some fun dance fitness classes on Pop Sugar). I also started training with my postnatal trainer for personal training again at 10 weeks. Around this time of 2-3 months, I definitely saw improvement and noticed how I was able to do lunges for a longer time before getting tired and busting out high impact moves that would totally destroy me before.

Love that my pre/postnatal gym is super dog and baby friendly!

By around 3 months, I was ready to incorporate triathlon training back into my workout regime. The bike was always my weakest discipline and I was not looking forward to getting back on the trainer. Bike fitness takes a long time to build and I was feeling a little apprehensive to find out how much fitness I’ve lost. I started doing free rides on my bike on the trainer at first and did short rides of 20-30 minutes. After a few weeks of free riding, I signed up for TrainerRoad again to have more structured training rides. In terms of running, I was able to do two runs during the week, one interval run in my building’s gym and one longer run outside. I slowly built up the longer run to around 4 km and was feeling quite strong and that I was able to push my pace a bit on the uphills!

I still did not feel like I was back at my base fitness, but it was encouraging to see the improvements! It definitely is taking longer than I expected and I did not think I would ever feel this heavy or unfit, but what is most important is that I am getting the work in and slowly building my strength and fitness back!

Our first family staycation!

Family, Motherhood, Uncategorized

Jerry and I used to travel A LOT – like a crazy amount. We used to go to Holland every 2 months and then 3-4 trips a year for triathlon races and on top of that regular leisure trips. Things all froze once the pandemic hit and we also welcomed our dear baby Lex soon after. We obviously would not travel as much now that we have a baby but we were still very excited to take Lex on holidays. Unfortunately the pandemic lasted much longer than anyone expected and we still haven’t had a chance to travel anywhere with Lex (this staycation happened back in the summer and since then we HAVE traveled with Lex, but that will be for another post).

I have been wanting to do a staycation for some time but I always wasn’t sure if it would actually be a good idea. We had everything we needed at home and living in the south side often felt like a vacation anyways. We were also unsure of how Lex’s sleep schedule would be like in a hotel and worried that we would end up being more tired than usual if his schedule blew up. After toying with the idea for some time, Jerry surprised me by booking a staycation at the Grand Hyatt for the weekend! In the days leading up to it, I was SO excited. It really felt like we were going away on a trip.

Hotels in Hong Kong have been busting out deals to try and survive during the pandemic. We noticed that the lobby was very busy and there was a line to check in. It was nice to see that people were responding to the deals and hopefully the hotels are making some money. The room had an amazing view of the city and the harbourfront and Lex instantly climbed onto the window to check it out. He was so excited the whole time and kept running around the room to explore his new surroundings. Lex recently started walking so it was perfect timing to do a staycation because he could walk around on his own and we didn’t want him crawling on the floors.

The hotel was very thoughtful and prepared a lot of kid friendly items such as a welcome bag with a mask, a coupon for a snack, and also baby bathtub, shampoo, and slippers!

After relaxing in the room for a little, it was time for our afternoon tea. The sandwiches and sweets were so yummy! The afternoon tea also came with a buffet of waffles, crepes, ice cream, fruit, macarons, and chocolates. Lex had some insane amount of energy and I liked how there was space for him to walk around. There were also some beautiful live music playing and Lex was completely captivated. It was so sweet!

After the afternoon tea we filled the bathtub for Lex to take a bubble bath. We don’t have a bath tub in our home so Lex was loving it. After the bath it was time to start Lex’s bedtime routine around 7:30 pm. The building lights were flashing and he was getting so distracted so we ended up closing all the blinds. We bedshare so it was quite convenient for me to just nurse him to sleep on the bed and there was no need to set up a portable crib etc. It was a bit tricky though after he fell asleep because Jerry and I had to talk quietly and hang out in the dark. We decided to order some room service and enjoyed some alone time in the dark together. Lex did wake up randomly around 9:30 pm and didn’t want to go back to sleep until past 11 pm!

Overall the night was ok, the bed is a bit smaller than the bed we have at home so we were all a bit cramped but we made it! As always, Lex woke around 5:30-6 am and we decided to go to the Central Harbourfront for a walk. Jerry and I used to always run this path and it was exciting to see how much it has expanded. It was really well organized and there were lots of cute artwork and playful areas for children. It was nice to explore something new in our own city.

After our walk it was time for the breakfast buffet! Hotel breakfasts are my favorite and something I look forward to during our travels. The Grand Hyatt one did not disappoint with a large array of yummy foods. We definitely stuffed ourselves this trip! Lex went down for his first nap at 10 am nicely and it was time for me to get pampered! My lovely husband booked me a massage and it was a really great way to unwind and relax.

Jerry and I both realized how nice to was to just do something new and get away for a day. Even though we are unable to travel with Lex yet, it was so nice to have this new experience and he handled it like a champ! There are definitely more staycations in store for us!

Taking care of our marriage as new parents

Family, Motherhood, Uncategorized

Being a new parent is hard work! There is SO much to learn and you feel like you are pulled in all directions. The baby becomes the #1 priority and often times we forget to take care of ourselves and the marriage. Let’s be real, any second you get you want to either sleep in or just lay around, but it is so important to make the extra effort to connect with your partner and spend some quality time. This applies for parents at any stage of parenthood, not just new parents. As we know, babies go through all sorts of development leaps and sleep regressions and they always keep us on our toes! It’s important to make sure you take extra time and effort to ensure your marriage does not suffer and you don’t want to chew up your partner.

Jerry and I have a wonderful relationship and I adore him to bits, but I would be lying if I said that the first few months were totally smooth and easy! Did I love seeing my husband become a father and my heart melted when I saw him with Lex? 100% yes. Did I want to sometimes strangle him? Also yes. We definitely noticed that we were short with each other more often and acting grumpy. It is completely understandable… you are figuring out newborn care (and continue to figure out child care month after month, it never stops) and you are functioning with very little sleep. For us mamas, we are also experiencing some raging hormones and recovering from childbirth (and maybe breastfeeding too!). It is normal to be more grumpy and irritable. However, it is so important to recognize that this is a sensitive and difficult period and to proactively do things to make sure you are looking out for your partner and your marriage. Your baby is incredibly important, but a strong partnership in your marriage is also essential and is the foundation of the family. Don’t ever forget that!

Here are some tips that I found very helpful:

Checking in often: it may just be a small text or a quick word, but it makes a huge difference because your partner will feel like you care and you will also be more in tuned to how each other is doing (and what to do to fix/improve things). Simple questions like “how are you feeling today?” or “how is the day going” are enough!
Open communication: the worst thing is to bottle up your feelings and let it build up. Even if it’s your husband or wife, they might know you well but they can’t read your mind ALL the time. Jerry and I make sure to speak up once something rubs us the wrong way or if we notice that we are feeling extra irritable. We are completely honest with each other and we always talk things out. Even if it feels petty, it never hurts to let them know. Sometimes I will recognize that I am being unreasonable but would still like him to know that his action is bothering me, for example: “I know I am being extra sensitive and it is probably just me, but you are really rubbing me the wrong way today etc.”
Recognizing each other’s efforts + saying thank you: when you are feeling tired and discouraged, it always feels nice to hear that someone is acknowledging your efforts and that you’re doing a good job. Make that extra effort to thank or praise your spouse, it will make them feel good!
Find time for each other: it does not have to be an entire outing or a grand experience, but just finding some small pockets of time throughout the day to show affection and connection. Jerry and I make sure we have some time together when Lex is napping. Sometimes it is just a short cuddle on the couch or a 3 second hug in the kitchen, it is an instant mood lifter.
Affection and intimacy: intimacy could be the last thing on your mind post baby but even a long hug or a nice kiss could make a world of difference. Sometimes we are so rushed and stressed, you forget to show your partner some love.
Look back on you as a couple before kids: Jerry recently spent some time looking at old photo books and videos of our trips and we both loved reminiscing on all the fun we had. We absolutely adore our time as a family now with Lex but it is really lovely to look back on our more carefree days when we traveled a lot and did a lot of races together! Sometimes it can feel like you’e overwhelmed by parenthood and you aren’t the same person as before, so it is refreshing to remind yourself of who you and your spouse were before kids (and you can definitely apply those things to your family life too! Life does not end after kids).
Date nights: this can be tough with busy work schedules and child care but even just once a month or every other week is a great start. Sometimes you feel like its too much effort but I can promise you you will never regret a date night. Jerry and I try to do a date night every other week and take turns organizing. We always have an amazing time and love the solo time to reconnect and enjoy each other’s company.

I hope that these ideas will be helpful and make the parenting experience even more enjoyable. It can be tough, but you and your partner are a team and will come out stronger than before!