There are so many things to learn and prepare when you’re about to welcome a baby into the world. How to feed your baby has gotten a LOT of attention in recent years. Back when I was a baby, formula was all the rage and was mistakenly deemed to be more beneficial than breastmilk. Now it is common knowledge that breastfeeding has myriad benefits for both mother and baby. Breastmilk provides the perfect nutrition for the baby and also provides precious antibodies. Breastfeeding also lowers the mother’s chance of breast and ovarian cancer. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends exclusive breastfeeding for the first 6 months and then breastfeeding combined with solid foods for 1 year, the WHO recommended breastfeeding up to 2 years and beyond! My goal is to breastfeed for at least 1 year and am open to go beyond that. While breastfeeding for the first 6 months is widely known to be important, breastfeeding beyond 6 months also has a lot of benefits for both the mother and baby. Of course, there are other factors that cause a mother to decide to use formula or breastfeed for a shorter duration of time, and one should make a decision that is best for their family and not let the societal pressure to exclusively breastfeed overwhelm them. This post will share my experience for breastfeeding and the reasons why I did things a certain way. There are a multitude of ways to nourish your child and family circumstances differ – this post is in no way trying to shame anyone who chooses to do things differently!

While breastfeeding is a beautiful and natural thing, it does not seem to come naturally to most women. I heard many terrifying stories of painful clogged ducts and bloody nipples from breastfeeding and had saved the contacts of a few lactation consultants in case I ran into these issues myself. Before giving birth, I took the time to read as much as I could about breastfeeding and also took this awesome course on breastfeeding. I firmly believe that choosing to give birth at Matilda set me up for success in many aspects of newborn care, but particularly in breastfeeding. From the moment Lex was placed in my arms, I had a number of experienced and helpful midwives helping me around the clock. They placed pillows around me, moved Lex around to adjust the latch, grabbed and maneuvered my breasts, and answered my countless questions. I am eternally grateful to them and believe they played an essential role in how well my breastfeeding has been going. I understood that breastfeeding could can be challenging, but that pain was NOT normal and mothers should not feel the need to endure pain during breastfeeding. I knew what to look out for to make sure the latch was good. I was not afraid to unlatch Lex if it was not comfortable and to readjust the position.

In the beginning I had to feed Lex every 3 hours (counting from the beginning of the feed). This was extremely time consuming and I kept note of all the feeds with a worksheet provided by Matilda. At first, I needed quite a bit of assistance from the midwives in finding the best feeding position, but I quickly learnt how to do it myself. I stayed at the hospital for 5 days (I had an emergency c-section) and the midwives came in less and less as I got more independent and confident with breastfeeding. However, they were always 1 button away when I needed help! Even though I knew that milk was supposed to come out of my breasts, the first few times still felt quite surreal! I couldn’t believe that my body was producing this magic liquid that would perfectly nourish my baby. My nipples did feel quite sore on the third day, but quickly got adjusted to it. I only had to use nipple balm once or twice and soon did not need it anymore. One tip was to put breast milk on your nipples if they felt dry or chapped and to allow the milk to dry. Many mamas also swear by silverettes to soothe and help heal sore nipples, but I have not tried that myself. I did have some leaky boobs in the beginning and had to use reusable pads, but by around 3-4 months I think my breasts had regulated themselves and I no longer had that issue. My breasts were ridiculously big though (both from the weight gain and breastfeeding), and it was definitely something that I was not used to!

Back at home, I downloaded an app called Baby Tracker which was extremely user friendly and helped me keep track of all the feeds (and nappy changes and nap times! this app is a lifesaver). At month 1, our pediatrician said that Lex was growing wonderfully and that we no longer had to wake him up for night feeds. I was quite excited to hear that but quickly learnt that it didn’t mean much because Lex would still wake up to feed anyways! As I type this at 9 months, Lex still wakes up a few times a night for milk/suckling (not sure if he’s hungry or just for comfort!). Night feeds were quiet and sometimes lonely moments because Jerry would be asleep (he was up and ready to help when I needed it, but it didn’t make sense to have him awake with me just for solidarity’s sake). However, it is also sometimes a sacred and peaceful time between me and Lex. I loved looking down at him suckling peacefully and enjoying this special moment together (not all the time though…sometimes tiring and a mess). It is also comforting to think that in Hong Kong and perhaps around the world, there are thousands of other mothers who are awake at the same time to nurse their babies.

Lex proved to be a hungry baby and I soon started to feed him on demand instead of on a strict schedule. It didn’t make sense to feed him on a schedule as he was hungry often, so I fed him whenever he needed it and allowed him to determine when to stop. However, newborns do have to eat on a schedule in terms of maximum time between feeds, so I had to make sure he ate at least every 4 hours. Apart from that, I would feed him whenever he displayed hungry cues. On demand feeding or responsive feeding has been shown to have many benefits, such as being the ideal way to keep milk production in sync with the baby’s needs, ensuring the baby gets enough milk, and it may even benefit emotional and cognitive development. However, this also means a bigger workload for me – sometimes I fed him up to 13 times a day! Some feeds would be just a snack and lasted for a few minutes, while some feeds would be large meals and would last for over an hour on just one breast. Feeding on demand is also beneficial for when the baby has a growth spurt and cluster feeds. Your baby needs more milk during growth spurts and the cluster feeding signals the mother’s body to produce more milk. Here is another article on why responsive feeding/feeding on demand can be very beneficial. Some people worry that you are unable to tell if your baby is getting enough milk with direct feeding since you cannot measure how much milk they are consuming like with bottle feeding. However, there are various signs that will let you know your baby is drinking enough milk, such as nappy output, physical signs (gulping and demeanor), and weight gain.

Both direct breastfeeding and pumping are great ways to feed your baby, with pros and cons for each method. I chose to mostly direct feed Lex. Direct feeding allows for biological communication between mother and baby where the mother’s milk will be customized in terms of both nutrition and antibodies according to the baby’s needs. Direct feeding will also result in a feedback loop for the supply and demand for breastmilk. Direct feeding is also very soothing for the baby with the suckling motion and the closeness. Breastfeeding is always a special bonding time for me and Lex. Pumping can be more convenient in terms of timing and delegation of feeding responsibilities (especially if the mother has work responsibilities), but it will also mean that the milk is not customized to the baby’s needs at any given moment and may also have less immune benefits. Direct breastfeeding also has its own challenges such as being more time consuming and issues such as pain due to poor latching. However, since I can control my own work schedule and Lex has a good latch, choosing to direct feed Lex was an obvious choice for me. Coincidentally, Lex also rejected the bottle and only wanted to feed directly! We introduced the bottle as suggested by midwives and breastfeeding courses at around 3 weeks after breastfeeding was established to reduce the risk of nipple confusion. He hated the bottle and this was a little bit inconvenient. While I was at home with him 99% of the time, sometimes I did need to have meetings or wanted to see friends! Around 5 months, Lex suddenly decided that he was ok with the bottle and this made my outings a lot less stressful and I didn’t have to rush home at a moment’s notice.

Even though I was lucky to have a relatively smooth journey with breastfeeding, the first few months were still very tough and exhausting. Once Lex wanted milk, everything froze and I had to get to him. I remember many dinners that were interrupted when I had to go to him and nurse. He was so small then and I was also an amateur so I was unable to nurse and eat myself. The night feeds were also exhausting, especially when it took him a while to go back to sleep after the 1 hour nursing session. The first few months were quite a blur and Jerry and I were mostly just on survival mode, but things changed around 3 months. There was a noticeable extension of time between feeds and I was also much better at feeding him on the go! I felt pretty comfortable nursing him in public also and found a loose t-shirt and leggings to be the ideal nursing outfit of choice when outside. I also purchased a number of nursing dresses that allow you to nurse discreetly. Overall, I was not shy to nurse in public and never had any issues. Luckily Lex did not need burping much and did not have too much reflux/spit up. We did make sure to burp him when he was a newborn for around 2 minutes as suggested by the midwives and he would let out some small burps, but overall it was quite easy and as he got older we often did not burp him at all and he was totally fine.

Apart from providing nutrition, nursing proved to be the best way to comfort and soothe Lex. He refused to use a pacifier but was actually obsessed with suckling for comfort. Whenever he was upset, the boob could almost always make things better. This was particularly useful when he was going through fussiness from growth spurts, pain from injections, or discomfort from teething. It is also a wonderful way to get Lex to sleep. I was initially under the inaccurate assumption that it was a bad sleep habit but it is actually a natural and comforting way for a baby to fall asleep!

In terms of pumping and storing milk, I only used a Hakaa pump to collect breastmilk while I nursed Lex in the beginning. Since I was direct feeding him and he hated the bottle, there wasn’t any reason for me to have much of a stash in the freezer. I had a few bags just for emergencies. After 5 months, I purchased a Youha pump and I would pump a few times a week. I usually have around 5 packs of milk in the freezer for the off chance that I was away when he got hungry. Lex also started eating solids around 5.5 months so the frequency of milk consumption also decreased slightly. Remember, a baby who is effective at nursing is the BEST at removing milk from your breasts, not some fancy machine. Pumping output is also not an indication of how much milk you are producing, so do not be alarmed if you feel like your pump output is not as high as you would like. Since I mostly direct breastfed Lex, it wasn’t always easy to get too much out of my pump since he is always taking little sips of milk from me! Sometimes I also felt like my body responded better to the Hakaa than the electric pump. However, if you need to build a stash, there are many ways to improve pump output (same link as earlier).

I did experience a few issues such as engorgement and mastitis. Luckily, they all went away on their own and I did not need anyone to come sort it out for me. Engorgement happens quite often since Lex has random bouts of crazy feeding and I think my body needs some time to adjust to the new demand and breast milk production. My breasts would be hard as rocks and be very painful. I have also had some clogged ducts but luckily they actually did not hurt. I once felt a lump in my breast that did not go away and ultimately went to get an ultrasound to be sure. Luckily it was just mastitis (also weirdly did not hurt, it often is extremely painful for women) and it went away on its own. I also had some milk blebs but they also went away on their own after I popped them (it is not recommended to pop them but I couldn’t resist… luckily it all worked out).

Around 5-6 months, I noticed that Lex was getting more and more distracted while breastfeeding (while doing anything to be honest). It was becoming a struggle getting him to stay still and I was constantly wrestling him! It definitely got quite challenging and some resources recommend covering the baby with a cloth so that they are less distracted. I would sometimes move him to a quiet room or just keep moving him back to the nursing pillow if he tried to squirm away. Around 7 months, Lex also started teething but luckily it has not affected breastfeeding too much. He did accidentally bite me twice and it was very painful but it has not happened since. Fingers crossed that things will still go smoothly as more teeth appear!

I do want to bring attention to something specific that I experienced during breastfeeding. I noticed that I always felt a bout of anxiety whenever I started breastfeeding and I initially just blamed it on postpartum hormones. However, it happened almost every time and I thought it was important to bring it up to Jerry because I was a little concerned. Postpartum mental health is a dire and important issue and we are lucky that there are a lot more resources now (I will also have a separate post on this topic). If you are concerned about something, make sure you talk to your partner or someone else! I was also lucky that one of my good friends had shared with me that her sister suffered from something called D-MER, a condition that made her feel extremely sad whenever she breastfed. Having that knowledge made me feel less alone and also made me understand that there is an actual reason I am feeling this way. Luckily the bouts of anxiety were short and very manageable, and while I never got properly diagnosed, I hope that raising awareness about this will help any other mothers going through it! These feelings also were more pronounced in the early months and I rarely get these bouts of anxiety anymore. It will be something I mention to my obstetrician for my next pregnancy.

Once again, this is my own experience and it does not mean it is the best and only way to nourish your baby! There are so many different factors involved with how one feeds their baby and regardless of whether you choose to direct feed, pump, mixed approach, or use formula, remember that you are the best mother for your baby. I feel very blessed that I have had such a wonderful experience with breastfeeding and think that I will actually miss it when it is time to wean Lex. It has not always been easy, but I will always look back on this experience with fondness.