As I am nearing the end of the pregnancy, I wanted to dedicate a post to my amazing husband. I was lucky to have a pretty smooth pregnancy, but it was not always easy. There were times where I felt unwell, tired, or just moody, but he was always there for me and I always felt supported, encouraged, and loved.

He always surprised me in the morning with breakfasts in bed, with amazing items such as avocado toast, veggie omelettes, pancakes, pineapple mango smoothies, and fruit cups. When I had hunger pangs, he made sure to stock our house with snacks and even kept some in car for emergencies. . Since I was avoiding public transportation due to the pandemic, he never hesitated to drive me to my girlfriend’s homes, even when it meant he had to sit through traffic alone on the way back.

While I usually cook and he does the dishes, there were days where I was too tired and he has stepped up and done both dinner and dishes. We do not have a full time helper and he is always there to wash dishes, do laundry, and vacuum the floor. Even though sometimes I feel like I need to help out more around the house, he reminds me that I am already working hard 24/7 nurturing our baby boy. He has also been the best dog dad to our pup Mister. Whether it is boiling hot or pouring rain, he will take Mister out for long hikes, walks, and paddle boarding. Even if he had a full day at the office and I was just at home resting, he would take Mister for his bathroom break when he gets home so that I would never have to leave the house.

I always feel like we are a team. We split up a lot of the work preparing for the arrival for our baby. While I researched the bulk of the baby items, he read tirelessly through parenting books and researched tedious issues such as insurance, passport registration, and cord blood banking. We brainstormed questions for our obstetrician together before every visit and he was there for every single one of our prenatal check ups. We were unable to take many in-person antenatal classes, but he was engaged and enthusiastic in all our online antenatal courses. I never felt like I had to push him to contribute or be interested, he was always full of excitement and eager to learn more.

When I am moody and cry over the weirdest things, instead of laughing it off he is there to listen and comfort me. I was not always comfortable with the changes my body was going through, but he always made me feel beautiful and reminded me that my body was doing something incredible. He motivated me to stay active during my pregnancy and even did all my prenatal home workouts with me, even though it consisted of lots of squats and aerobic toe tapping. He also (gently) reminded me to eat more veggies when all I wanted were carbs and desserts, even if it meant he might get some attitude in return.

Seeing his excitement for our little baby as he grows throughout the weeks melts my heart and I feel so lucky to have such an incredible partner. He has been the best husband to me and I know that he will be the best father and role model to our little boy.

Woohoo we are in the final stretch! Even though most people call the second trimester the golden age of pregnancy…. I actually liked the third trimester the most ! It felt like my body was finally getting used to the pregnancy and I felt more energetic and motivated than before (even though if I have to hear “get your sleep while you can!” one more time I might strangle someone). I also finally got into a good workout routine where I worked out 5-6 times a week. I think it had to do with finding an awesome prenatal trainer and also discovering BodyFit by Amy’s Prenatal YouTube channel. The weather is now disgustingly hot, so going for walks (even early morning) was not appealing at all. I loved how I could just pop on a YouTube and get the workout done in the comfort of my home. Amy’s Prenatal workouts are short and sweet and she is energetic and motivating. My personal trainer Esther has also been extremely helpful in making sure I stay active during this time. Even when gyms were closed due to COVID-19, she was able to make home visits so that I could maintain my workout routine. We did a lot of breathing and strength exercises that target areas important for pregnancy and we also focused on engaging the pelvic floor muscles. Doing these workouts made me feel strong and prepared for delivery. I look forward to working with her during my postpartum period as well!

I did adjust my workouts over the last 3 weeks, because I was starting to experience some unpleasant hip and pelvic pains. Moves such as lunges started to hurt, so I focused more on stretching workouts to relieve the pain. I was also getting more tired during the last few weeks, but apart from having to take a small nap, I felt pretty good during the day. The hip and pelvic pain was quite uncomfortable and I had to make sure to get up slowly and to also be careful in my movements.

I also noticed that my emotions were a little more stable in the third trimester. In the first trimester I was extremely moody and would feel angry and sad easily. In the second trimester I cried easily like a young child over the most silly things. One time Jerry said that maybe we should give away 4 cupcakes that I baked away instead of 2, and I burst into tears! By the third trimester I definitely feel more sane and less volatile (even though I am still on the verge of plunging into a bad mood once in a while).

While my belly was still quite small by week 22/23, it grew quickly during the third trimester. I sometimes had a bit of acid reflux, but nothing serious. I have also noticed some pretty impressive veins on my chest and running down to my belly. Amazingly, I still did not get any stretch marks, but the belly has gotten quite itchy! Luckily, my sleep was still quite good and my dreams were also a bit less weird. I had a lot of very strange and visual dreams during my second trimester that often left me feeling a bit unnerved when I woke up. I did, however, experience two very painful leg cramps in the middle of the night. My entire left calf was cramped and I had to yell out in pain for Jerry who helped me straighten and massage it out. In the last few weeks, I would also suddenly wake up in the middle of the night and it would take a while before I could go back to sleep.

The Hong Kong summer heat is also here and I could definitely feel its effects. Jerry is usually much warmer than me but now feels like the AC is too cold… even though I am only just comfortable. I would break out into a sweat easily (especially after eating) and it would take me a while to get back to a comfortable state. However, I am glad that I will not be in my third trimester for the entire summer… something that I will keep in mind for the next pregnancy! I could not imagine being this big and hot for the entire duration of the summer!

The baby’s movements have also changed. It started off as soft flutters and gradually became strong kicks. Now they are little shifting of positions and sometimes it felt like an elbow or shoulder was brushing against my inside. It can feel a little uncomfortable, but it is also fun to poke him back and feel him retreat into my belly. Things are getting a bit cramped in there, so I am sure he is moving around to try and be comfortable. At our 36 week scan he was estimated to be at 6 lb and at 38 weeks was estimated to be 7.25 lb. We are excited to see how big he will be when he is born!

We have hardly gone outside due to the pregnancy, but since the situation in Hong Kong has improved quite a bit, we have enjoyed a few more meals outside. I finally was able to enjoy some of the pregnancy attention perks, such as restaurants giving me a cushion for my back and caring questions from strangers about when I am due/boy or girl. I thought these were all sweet gestures and I was glad that I was able to enjoy them for a little while.

I also felt super lucky to be able to have a baby shower. I understand that many women had to give up their baby showers overseas due to the pandemic and I was initially also unsure if I would be able to have one. I did not want anyone to feel pressured into coming if the pandemic situation was still iffy, but luckily things were improving by April and my friends were able to throw me an amazing baby shower in mid-May. We decided to have an intimate potluck at my home and it was the best time! Everyone brought delicious dishes and I felt so happy and lucky to be able to spend time with my closest friends to celebrate this special period in my life.

I also experienced some intense nesting tendencies. I was so eager to wash and clean everything and also folded and refolded the baby’s things multiple times. I loved the feeling of preparing the nursery for his arrival. I kept looking over my to-buy list and kept wondering whether I was missing anything.

I think I could just describe the third trimester as a period that is overflowing with excitement and eager anticipation. While the second trimester felt so long and I was unsure how I was going to handle being pregnant for another trimester, the third trimester really flew by! I also feel more connected to our baby and cannot wait until we can hold him in our arms. I have also been thinking about the shift from being pregnant to becoming a mother. Pregnancy has been a large part of who I was for the last 9 months and while I am excited to have my body back, I will also miss some parts of pregnancy. As we are in the final weeks, I wonder how I will feel when our baby is no longer shifting around in my belly. The transition will be interesting, but I am excited to jump into the beautiful adventure of motherhood.

It is time to write up the birth plan! The birth plan is very important and takes ample thought and research, so don’t save it for the last minute. I learnt a lot during my antenatal classes and I also had to do some research on my own before finalizing my birth plan. Everyone has their own preferences and sometimes others may eagerly tell you “you MUST do _____” or “definitely do _____”, but remember, it is YOUR body, pregnancy, and delivery. You know yourself the best and you should make sure that you do your own research before letting others shift your perspective on what your birth should look like and how you feel about certain interventions. As always, speak to your doctor regarding any questions you may have, as well as your birth preferences. This is one of the reasons why it is so important to find a doctor that is on the same page as you, or, when he does not agree with you, is respectful of your decisions (as long as it is safe for you and the baby). My doctor has been incredibly supportive of all my decisions and it has made me feel encouraged and confident throughout the entire process.

It is also important to remember that the birth plan is there to let your healthcare team know your preferences and is not an iron clad contract. A lot of things can happen during birth and it may not pan out exactly the way you want it to. The birth plan will reflect how you feel towards certain interventions and what to do in case something changes. This is a helpful article about drafting your birth plan, here is another one.

Many hospitals will provide a birth plan template for you to fill out. My birth plan from Matilda was quite simple. It basically asked me what my main goals were, ways to achieve those goals, and biggest fears for the birth. My main goal is to have a healthy baby and my fear is to have a traumatic birth/birth that will negatively affect the baby. I would like to have a delivery that is as natural as possible with limited medical interventions, but I am open to them if they are needed.

Some of the things you should try to list out in your birth plan include:

• Vaginal or c-section birth
• Pain management: this can include epidural, gas, TENS machine, injection, breathing/meditating. Speak to your doctor about the options available in the hospital and also do your own research
• Atmosphere of delivery room: dimmed lights, music
• Who do you want with you in the delivery room
• Birth positions: upright, laying on your back, etc.
• Procedures for after the baby is born: delayed cord clamping, instant skin to skin
• Other procedures: newborn metabolic screening, hearing test, cord blood storage, circumcision (if you are having a boy)

Here is a quick explanation of some of my preferences below:

• No epidural unless absolutely necessary: epidurals are a very effective and popular method of pain relief. This article provides an excellent overview of the procedure and also some pros and cons, here is another one. While they are a great method of pain relief, epidurals can increase the risk of having a forceps or vacuum assisted delivery and you may have limited mobility and sensation in your lower body. My doctor had also said that epidurals prolonged labor and affected the coordination of contractions. Epidurals can be very useful if the pain is unbearable or if you are too exhausted (the epidural can provide you with some relief so that you can sleep/rest). Some may opt for an epidural right away but I would like to try delivering without the epidural, unless I am no longer able to push effectively or if the doctor feels it is needed. Contrary to popular belief, it is never too late to get an epidural (unless the baby’s head is crowning or the anesthesiologist is busy). My main pain management will be breathing techniques.
  • Do what works for you, if you are extremely nervous about the pain and the epidural will give you more confidence, go for it! But always make sure you know about the pros and cons before making that decision.
• No routine episiotomy: Tears are something that everyone is scared of. Episiotomies (incision in the perineum) used to be done routinely as it was thought to prevent natural tears and healed better than natural tears. However, current research reveals that women who do not have episiotomies may actually labor and recover better. In both my UK and American antenatal classes, it was said that they should NOT be done routinely and should only be done if deemed medically necessary. However, while talking to my friend who is a pediatrician, it seems that episiotomies are still done routinely in Hong Kong. According to this article, the incision could be more extensive than a natural tear and the episiotomy can be at risk of infection, cause pain during sex, and even result in fecal incontinence. Be sure to speak to your doctor to get his insight into episiotomies. I spoke to my doctor and he also said that it should never be done routinely and is seen as a surgical procedure that is only done if the baby needs to be delivered quickly or if it seems that the birth is likely to result in a severe natural tear.
• Delayed cord clamping: delayed cord clamping is when you delay the clamping of the umbilical cord after the baby is born. Traditionally the cord is clamped instantly, but there is now there is evidence that delayed cord clamping can be beneficial for babies by increasing their blood volume, red blood cells count, and iron levels. The article I linked to above also talks about some risks associated with this procedure, but none of them are statistically proven and the benefits are deemed to outweigh the supposed risks.
• Skin to skin: Babies are often whisked away after birth to be cleaned and weighed, but there is increasing evidence on the benefits of instant skin to skin contact between the newborn and mother. This article from UNICEF provides a great overview. In my birth plan, I have mentioned that I would like skin to skin right after my baby is born, whether I have a vaginal birth or c-section.

There is a lot to think about when creating your birth plan and I hope that this post is helpful for new mamas! Remember, the birth plan is there to outline all your preferences and will play an important role in creating a smooth delivery. Make sure you are informed regarding all the different types of procedures and interventions, so that you can vocalize your preferences and can stay calm, collected, and confident during your delivery!

If you are pregnant or expecting, you may have heard of cord blood storage. It is a relatively new trend but more and more parents are opting to have their baby’s cord blood stored, as it may have many future benefits.

As explained in this article, cord blood is the blood that is taken from the umbilical cord right after birth and is a rich source of stem cells. The stem cells sourced from cord blood can be used to treat a number of diseases, such as certain cancers, blood disorders, and immune system disorders.

We were very interested in this technology and planned to have our baby’s cord blood privately stored. This article provides more information regarding cord blood storage options in Hong Kong. As the article shows, there are many companies in Hong Kong. We did not know enough about the technology to make an informed choice, so we spoke to our doctor to get his input. In short, this was his helpful feedback:

• While both cord blood storage and cord tissue storage are available, he recommended choosing cord blood storage. Cord tissue usage in treatments is still in the experimental stage, while cord blood storage has proven usage for a number of diseases. Of course, depending on your preferences, you chose to store both.
• Find a company that has an international presence with offices around the world. You will be storing the blood for a long time (maybe as long as 20 years) and you want to make sure that the company will be around that long. There are no guarantees, but a company that has been around for a while already and that has an international presence is more likely to be still be around when you may need your stored cord blood.

We reached out to a few private companies and ultimately went with HealthBaby. They have a number of relevant certifications and their technology seems state of the art. They are part of a larger organization, the Cordlife Group, a Singaporean publicly traded company with a network of offices across Asia. Their representative was extremely informative and sent us a lot of pamphlets and information without being overly pushy. Our doctor has worked with them before as well. All these factors helped us to make our decision and go with HealthBaby.

In terms of logistics, you need to confirm before week 37 of the pregnancy, so if you are considering cord blood storage please keep this in mind. Typically, the storage company will send over an agreement / health form, as well as the blood collection kit, which you have to bring to the hospital yourself during delivery. Make sure both your doctor and the hospital know about your intention to store the baby’s cord blood and also include this intention in your birth plan.

Cord blood storage can add up to a significant sum, but we felt that potential benefits outweigh the costs. We want to make sure that we did what we could to ensure the health and wellbeing for our child.

For all my pregnant readers, I am sure by now you have heard about the pelvic floor multiple times. The pelvic floor is a a layer of muscles that supports the pelvic organs, including the bladder, bowel, and uterus in women. The pelvic floor muscles are used to control your bowel and bladder functions and they also play an important role in your sexual function. The pelvic floor muscles are stretched during pregnancy and will go through even more impact during the delivery itself (if you are having a vaginal birth). I am sure many of you have heard jokes about moms who pee a little if they laugh too hard or women who joke about how they can’t jump on trampolines anymore. The importance of strengthening your pelvic floor was not a priority before and it was accepted that woman would just lose a bit of bladder control after having children. this is not the case anymore! There are a lot of resources regarding how to take that control back and how to get our bodies stronger and better after childbirth.

One of the most famous pregnancy exercises are “kegels”. While kegels are a good way to work on your pelvic muscles, I often find it difficult to remember to do them. One good thing about kegels is that you can do them anywhere and anytime, but for some reason I always forget! I downloaded an app that sends you a reminder everyday and also allows you to customize the type of kegel exercises that you do. The app is called “Easy Kegel” and it is free (you can pay for some extra features). I found the app to be really helpful in reminding myself to do my daily kegels and it also features two types of “slow” or “fast” exercises that will maximize your muscle strengthening.

                                                  

Apart from kegels, I would also highly recommend training with a prenatal certified trainer during your pregnancy. They know all the ins and outs of bodily changes during pregnancy and will develop specialized training that fits your fitness level/body and the stage of pregnancy that you’re in. My trainer Esther from Aqua Terra is awesome and I definitely feel more confident about my delivery and postpartum recovery because of our training sessions together.

We should all take a proactive role in getting our body back in fighting form after pregnancy! Bladder leakage and decreased sexual function should not be something that women accept as a natural consequence of childbirth. With the proper training, we can all get back to where we were, if not even better.

There is SO much to learn regarding pregnancy and taking care of a baby! This was a world that was completely new to us and we wanted to make sure we were as prepared as possible. Jerry and I had planned to take an antenatal course at our hospital (Matilda), but they were all cancelled due to the pandemic. Luckily, many awesome organizations and companies decided to offer their courses for free, because they knew it was difficult for people to get out and attend classes during the pandemic! Jerry and I are major nerds, so we took a number of different classes and also ordered a bunch of books to read about pregnancy, prenatal information, and parenting. I wanted to create a list here to share some of our thoughts on all the resources that we tapped into. I will be updating this list as we go, because we plan to keep reading and learning after the baby comes!

Courses 

Online courses

• Motherly’s “Becoming Mama” Birth Course: We absolutely loved this course! It is super informative and also positive and empowering. It recognizes how difficult and intense child birth can be and then provides you with lots of practical information, such as movements during labor that can help you get the baby in the optimal position, things you can do to alleviate any discomfort, and how to handle medical interventions. I found this course to be more informative and realistic than the Positive Birth Company Course (will review next), because it doesn’t gloss over how big of an event giving birth is, but instead gives you the tools to make the experience smoother. The course also reminds mothers how strong and capable they are. This course is offered for free during the pandemic! The presenter has a certain style that can take a tiny bit to get used to, but overall she is pleasant and each session is concise and helpful.
• The Positive Birth Company: This course came highly recommended by lots of mamas to be! I really appreciated its refreshing approach to giving birth, which was very empowering and positive. At the same time, I found some bits a little hard to believe (for instance, giving birth is not painful and you can “breathe” the baby down instead of having to push). I did like how the entire approach is to view birth as an empowering experience and not something for women to fear or dread. I think that oftentimes in society we only hear about the horrific and traumatizing birth stories and we forget about the powerful and positive birth experiences. This course provides some hypnobirthing techniques (such as breathing routines), but mostly it is about how to change your mindset towards birth. It also provides tactics to assess whether a medical intervention is right for you and it reminds women that we have a right to question a doctor’s recommendation. The presenter is a a super supporter of home births, so that can sometimes feel a bit unrealistic as well (for those of us in Hong Kong). Overall, we were happy to take this course for its positive message, but felt that some parts were a bit repetitive and the course could be a bit more concise. I would highly recommend this course if you are nervous about giving birth, since it did make me feel more confident and understand that my body was perfectly designed to deliver our baby. This course was not free.
• Tinyhood’s Breastfeeding 101: This is an excellent course on breastfeeding by an international board certified lactation consultant. The videos are super easy to watch and have informative picture slides and videos throughout. The course also comes with lots of useful infographics that you can save or print out for easy access later (such as massage tips for engorgement and how many diapers to look out for). I learnt a lot from this course and the presenter is also very supportive and encouraging. Breastfeeding definitely seems A LOT harder than I expected, so I was really glad to have gone through this course. This course is not free at the moment, but I was able to sign up for it for free during a special pandemic sale.

In person course

Even though many in person courses were cancelled, we were lucky to be able to catch a pediatric first aid course at the end of May when social distancing measures were eased a little.

• Family Zone Pediatric First Aid and CPR: This course was also highly recommended by many mamas to be in my WhatsApp chat group. I was happy to see that the lady who runs the program worked at the Matilda Hospital for decades and was in charge of running the programs there before starting her own company. I used to be an EMT back in college and was really glad that I took this course, because I realized a few things have changed since then! Yvonne (the course director) was very good at demonstrating the skills along with providing lots of personal anecdotes and stories to keep things interesting during a 3.5 hour class. Yvonne’s company, The Family Zone, offers many other services, such as postnatal visits and first-aid courses for helpers. It was a really useful and informative course and I think every parent should take it. It is a bit scary to hear all the stories and freak accidents that can happen, but you leave the course feeling a bit comforted that you have the skills to deal with these types of accidents if they were to occur.

Books

We got a number of different books and divided them up amongst us. Some books were read by both of us and some by just one of us. Jerry has provided some guest reviews/summaries below! Jerry also has a blog that has more in-depth reviews of each book (and many other books) so please go check it out!

• Harvey Karp’s Happiest Baby on the Block: This book gives an in-depth look into what causes colic in babies. It provides interesting evidence from an anthropological and evolutionary standpoint to allow parents to understand why babies act a certain way. Most importantly, it provides parents with a set of skills to handle a baby who cries for hours on end. Reading the testimonials from parents who had babies who shrieked and cried nonstop was a little intimidating, but we both felt much more confident and ready after reading this book because we felt like we had a better understanding of why such behavior occurs and what to do when it does.
• Mayo Clinic’s Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy: Mayo Clinic is a reputable and highly respected US based medical center and this book is a great resource to have (we also ordered the Mayo Clinic First Year but it is stuck via Amazon for the moment). The book provides detailed and scientifically sound information for each stage of pregnancy.
• Brain Rules for Baby: What does it take to raise a happy, smart kid with a decent moral compass? This book’s answer is simple: help kids lead a healthy and social life. A practical guide to early parenting. The suggestions in this book are simple and easy to incorporate into daily life. For instance, during pregnancy, the best way to help a baby’s brain develop is for the mother to eat well, exercise in moderation and lower stress. (https://jeroen2307.com/2020/05/18/brain-rules-for-baby/)
• Selfish Reasons to Have More Kids: Parenting absorbs ever more time. People wrongly believe that happiness and having (more) kids are incompatible. This book argues that you can cut back on a lot of things without harmful effects on the child. For instance, kids can do with less supervision and you can scrap boring activities that have modest long-term benefits. The book is a helpful reminder that sometimes it’s okay to do a little less, but what should you do more of? You will not find any answers to that question in this book. (https://jeroen2307.com/2020/04/11/selfish-reasons-to-have-more-kids/)
• Prepared: What do you enjoy doing? What are you good at? What is the best way to pursue these interests? If you can answers these questions, you are prepared. You can make better choices about your future. Most schools are not designed to help kids answer these questions. The author of this book is the founder of Summit Public Schools (a network of US charter public schools). This book outlines Summit’s philosophy. It revolves around project-based learning, self-direction (kids make their own choices from a healthy buffet curated by you) and working in teams. These tools create an environment that encourages curiosity. It also allows kids to discover their strengths and likes. They can use their strengths to build productive habits and set meaningful, purposeful goals. This is a great read. (https://jeroen2307.com/2020/03/13/prepared/)
• The Fragile Generation: A well written article about the “kids are over-protected and under-prepared” argument. Its main point is that kids should have plenty of free play. Free play helps kids build social skills, become more resilient, experience failure and make friends. You can explore the Letgrow.org website for more information on this topic. (https://jeroen2307.com/2020/04/06/the-fragile-generation/)

Apps

• What to Expect: This is an OG resource for new parents and their app is great! The app is visually appealing and also FULL of interesting and accurate information. There are a lot of informative and fun articles that I found very helpful. Their medical information is backed by peer reviewed medical journals and organizations such as the American Association of Pediatrics and the CDC. We especially love the week by week videos where you get information on the baby’s development and changes in mom’s body. They also provide a fun “your baby is the size of ____” feature that we look forward to every week (right now at 36 weeks my baby is a the size of a bunch of kale).
• Baby Center: We don’t use this app as much but I like the “Bumpie” feature where you can upload a photo of your bump week by week. Even though I don’t use the app that much, Baby Center is a good source of information in general and they post a lot of helpful articles.

Pregnancy is a wonderful time when you get a lot helpful tips from other mamas and support from friends (pregnant or not!). I connected with a lot of new people and truly enjoyed this new community. Here are some ways to form awesome connections during this time:

• Reach out to friends/acquaintances that are pregnant. They may not be your close friends and/or people you usually talk to, but I’ve noticed that everyone is eager to chat and I’ve really enjoyed these conversations. Don’t be shy! You might also become new mommy friends.
• Join a mommy-to-be Whatsapp group. I was initially a bit apprehensive about joining a big group chat with complete strangers but I have actually found myself really enjoying it. Women with around the same due dates (within 3 months) are in the chat group and share a bunch of information regarding baby products, baby care, hospital procedures, you name it! Everyone is also super supportive and kind. It was particularly helpful to connect with other women who are pregnant during a pandemic.
• Getting input from people who already have kids. We all have different parenting styles, but you get a lot of valuable insights from people who already have kids. You don’t have to agree on everything, but you will definitely at least get some helpful information. I also was lucky enough to get a lot of maternity wear and books from a good friend who gave birth a few months before me. The items she gave me were so useful and it made me feel very loved!
• Don’t forget about your friends who aren’t pregnant! Even though they might not be as interested in the latest baby bouncer, my close friends have been such a source of support and happiness during this time.

Pregnancy is such an exciting time but it is also a time when you get a ton of unsolicited advice and some may even be quite negative. I don’t think people usually mean any harm, but they don’t always put a lot of thought into how their comments will make a pregnant person feel. One time I was in a group setting and a woman who already had a child kept telling me how I won’t have any time to do what I want once I have the child, that I definitely HAD to get a helper or else I won’t be able to manage, and that you get dumber after giving birth and would struggle at work. I was absolutely shocked by this and was in quite a bad mood after. Perhaps she was having a hard time personally and wanted to tell me her honest opinion, but I definitely did not appreciate her input and felt attacked and insulted. I have yet to experience this crazy adventure of taking care of a newborn, but I am hoping to face it with optimism and excitement. She is definitely not someone that I will be reaching out to for any pregnancy or newborn advice. Shortly after that exchange, another woman came up to me and said “I think you can do it, it wasn’t easy for me either, but I am slowly getting back to work and also working out”. I was incredibly touched and appreciative of her comment, and I hope that I can be a source of positivity and encouragement to others in the future.

Pregnancy is an amazing time, but it is also a fragile time. You are wondering what your life will be like after giving birth, whether you will be able to keep doing the things you loved, how you will embrace this incredible but demanding new role, and how your identity will change. Don’t waste your time on people who doubt you and don’t support your dreams during this sacred time.

It is important to learn how to filter through all the input and advice that you get and make sure you surround yourself with people who encourage you and make you feel strong.  You should also make sure that you are not too bothered by other people’s remarks. I was taken aback by this woman’s comments, but very quickly recovered because I know that I will do what I want and that her words don’t mean anything. She doesn’t know me or what I am capable of. It know that it will be a huge change and a big challenge, but I have confidence that I can still be a vibrant and ambitious woman after having children. Find people who share the same enthusiasm and energy as you, and ignore those who try to put you down. This is such a special time and to put it eloquently, you don’t have time for that shit.

I’ve been lucky to have an overall smooth pregnancy with limited morning sickness and other symptoms. However, the two major things that were more worrying during my pregnancy were an intense rash and two fainting spells. As described by this article, dizziness can occur during pregnancy due to the following reasons:

• Insufficient blood supply for the rapidly increasing circulatory system.
• Higher levels of progesterone that cause blood vessels to dilate and that have effects on blood pressure.
• The growing uterus exerting extra pressure on your blood vessels.
• Overall body temperature increase due to pregnancy, which can contribute to light headedness.
• Changes in blood sugar and higher risks of being dehydrated.

Even though it can be normal for dizziness to occur during pregnancy, you should always keep your medical provider in the loop on your symptoms and also seek medical attention if you experience:

• Blacking out or or losing consciousness.
• Slurred speech.
• Impaired vision.
• If dizziness happens often and is persistent.

My first fainting episode occurred around 11/12 weeks into my pregnancy when I was in Bangkok for a bachelorette party. I stayed behind in Bangkok while the other girls went to a music festival and had signed up for a cooking class with Jerry. The class was mostly in an air conditioned room, but the woks/cooking stations were in a hotter room with exhaust fans. We were having a great time learning how to make coconut milk when I suddenly felt unwell. I felt like I could not concentrate and was also feeling a bit unstable. I turned to Jerry and told him I felt a bit unwell and the next thing I knew I woke up and I was on my knees. He had held me against him, so luckily I did not fall, but I was shocked to see that everyone else in the class was looking at me with a concerned expression. I was kneeling on the floor, sweaty, and had no idea what had happened. The cooking school staff was amazing and took me to the air conditioned room immediately. Another staff member came and told me that she had often been dizzy during her pregnancy, making me feel a bit less silly. She gave me some menthol to sniff and I felt much better after resting. I felt good enough to return to the class but picked the stove nearest to the door, so that incoming fresh air would blow against me. It was a very scary incident and I was really grateful that Jerry was there with me. I told my ob/gyn and he told me to monitor the situation and let him know if it occurred again. The cooking room was very hot and stuffy, so I reminded myself to definitely be more careful in the future.

The second incident occurred in the beginning of my third trimester around 29 weeks. This was actually a very strange incident, because I was sitting at home taking my health coach course on my computer. I was not in a hot room nor doing anything physically demanding. I was sitting at the desk when suddenly I felt very breathless. I tried to take deep breaths, but it did not feel like that was helping and suddenly I was breaking out into a sweat. I tried to walk around, but it felt as if I was going in and out of consciousness in waves. I was on the verge of blacking out, but I always managed to come back after a while. Suddenly I felt a bit better again and we had to break out into practice groups in the class. Looking back, this was silly because I should have left the class and went to rest, call Jerry, or call my doctor, but instead, I continued with the class. As I was going through the practice with my partner, I was suddenly experiencing the same symptoms. Miraculously I was able to finish the practice with my partner even though I felt like I was going to pass out mid-sentence. The class ended and I went to the living room and told Jerry (he got back from his walk with Mister). I looked up my symptoms on the internet and and saw that blurred vision was a warning sign and that I should seek medical attention. I called my ob/gyn and was told to call an ambulance to get to the nearest hospital! This seemed quite intense to me as I felt normal by then, but he had said that he was concerned because my vision was impaired, and this could point to more serious medical issues. I called the closest hospital (a private one) and found out the regular ambulance does not serve them. Therefore we decided that the best thing to do was to have Jerry drive me over (I am not suggesting that everyone do the same thing as we did, I felt fine by then and we decided that it made more sense to get to the nearest hospital quickly by using our own transportation. We were also a bit more wary of going to a public hospital due to the pandemic. If you are still feeling unwell, please do call an ambulance).

At the hospital, I was seen by an emergency physician, who told me that my vitals were normal but that I should see a cardiologist to be safe. The cardiologist performed an ECG and I was relieved to learn that everything was normal. The doctor told me that the issue could be lowered blood pressure and that the chance of a deep vein thrombosis was very low. He said that I may also be breathing less when dizziness occurs due to anxiety and that this can also lead to increased light headedness.

One important thing that cardiologist told me was to make sure that I don’t panic and rush off somewhere when I feel faint. Many people are scared and will try to rush to the bed or couch when they feel faint, resulting in falls and accidents. The best thing you can do is to sit or lay down, so you don’t hurt yourself. Other tips that I think are helpful include:

• Stay hydrated.
• Make sure rooms are ventilated and not too hot.
• Dress in layers and in loose fitting/airy outfits.
• Get up slowly if you have been lying down for long (I always get lightheaded when I stand up too quickly).

These two episodes were quite scary, but I was very relieved that all my results came back normal and that nothing serious happened because of my fainting/dizzy spells! I hope that this information is helpful to you and also allows you to be on the alert for warning signs, so that you can seek medical attention immediately!

The second trimester is often referred to the “golden period” of pregnancy because you will have more energy and some of those pesky symptoms in the first trimester (sore breasts and nausea) may also subside. The second trimester refers to week 13-28 and I definitely did feel the fatigue and nausea subside once I passed week 12. I was very excited for the nausea to go away but I definitely wouldn’t say that I felt as good as I did pre-pregnancy. I definitely had more energy as compared to the first trimester, but I still struggled to find motivation to get outside and follow work-out routines (as mentioned in my exercise post).

My baby bump was quite small and did not grow much until week 18. It started to look more like something by then, but it still mostly looked like I just ate a lot. However, the extra weight was starting to give me some back pain and I made sure to use a hot compress on my back and sit with extra cushions for support. I was also starting to get ligament pain – pain due to the ligaments stretching as the baby grows. This occurred when I sneezed or coughed hard, and also when I went for walks. I would always get a sharp stitch on the right side whenever I went for a walk or started too quickly on the treadmill. It was frustrating because I already did not have the highest level of motivation to go out for my workouts and this made it even harder. I tried to start off at an extremely slow pace and I also took more breaks during walks to address this issue.

Speaking of sneezing and coughing, I was also experiencing some mild symptoms of pregnancy incontinence where a small leak would occur when I sneezed or coughed too hard. While it is not a great thing to experience, it is a common thing to happen to pregnant women and nothing to worry or be embarrassed about! The baby and uterus is exerting a lot of pressure on your bladder so there is a chance for a little leakage to occur when there is a sudden movement. I will have a more in-depth post on the importance of strengthening the pelvic floor muscles and kegels soon! I bought some very light pads and also went to the bathroom more often to make sure it happened less often.

I am allergic to dust/dust mites and we actually moved to a new apartment because my allergies were so bad. We were delighted to find out that my allergies improved drastically in the new apartment but then found out that pregnancy can exacerbate allergy symptoms. It was still a lot better than when we lived in the old place but once in a while I would be extremely sniffly (not great during a pandemic!). I checked with my doctor and found out that the allergy medicine I was taking was safe for pregnancy. However, I still tried to minimize taking the medication and instead we vacuum more often and also have our air purifier on 24/7.

I usually get a rash during winter due to the dry weather, but I had a much more severe rash that spread all over my body during the pregnancy. It was so itchy and Jerry had to keep reminding me not to scratch. I would poke or pinch my skin since I was trying not to scratch and it actually resulted in bruises! It started to affect my sleep because I would wake up in the middle of the night and start scratching. I ended up seeing a dermatologist and she told me it was just eczema that was exacerbated by pregnancy hormones fluctuations. She gave me a topical steroid cream and a medication to decrease the itching. I also tried to moisturize more (I use QV lotion, fragrance free and not sticky at all). Rash is common during pregnancy and here is a helpful article regarding all the different types. Most can seem relatively harmless (although extremely uncomfortable), but do watch out for symptoms of intrahepatic cholestasis, a condition that could cause preterm labor and puts your baby at risk for stillbirth of lung issues.

Other second trimester symptoms included more sensitive gums, dry eyes, and a headache once in a while. I also realized that my scalp was a lot dryer and itchy. Since it was winter and I also did not engage in intense sports, I just washed my hair a lot less so it would not dry out as much.

I also experienced a fainting spell at the beginning of the second trimester which was quite scary. I was in a hot and stuffy place and completely blacked out for a few seconds. Luckily Jerry was with me at the time, but it is definitely something that pregnancy woman should be wary of (there will also be a separate post regarding pregnancy and fainting).

Apart from all these wonderful symptoms, I was happy to not experience any constipation, swelling of hands and feet, UTIs, or stretch marks!

Psychologically, the start of the second trimester was exciting because this is when you can finally tell your friends about the pregnancy! It was also a relief because the chance of miscarriage is extremely low once you pass the 12-week mark. Around week 12/13 we got the NIPT and combined test to see if our baby was at risk for any genetic abnormalities. That was also the time where we were able to determine the gender of our baby via the blood test (gone are the days of finding out via ultrasound!) and our doctor called us a day or 2 before Christmas to let us know we were having a baby boy! Around week 20 is the time for the structural ultrasound where the doctor does a detailed look at your baby’s anatomy to identify if there are any abnormalities. The waiting period between testing and results always made us a little nervous but we were so ecstatic to find out that we were going to have a little man join our family and also relieved to find out that all his results came back normal.

I also had to take the infamous OGTT test to find out whether I had gestational diabetes during the second trimester and while I was lucky and did not vomit or faint… it was pretty nasty. It was also a LONG test where I had to stay at the clinic or nearby for 2-3 hours. You basically get your blood drawn multiple times and you also have to drink a venti cup of sugar water. While it takes up a lot of time, it is an important test to do and I was glad to get it over with and also find out that I did not have gestational diabetes.

The second trimester felt quite long but it was definitely exciting to feel the first baby kicks! I think I felt the first one around week 18 but I am not too sure the exact timing. It felt like a little flutter or muscle spasm but during an ultrasound I realized those feelings were kicks. It definitely made the pregnancy feel more real and I felt more connected to our baby. The baby bump finally grew more significantly around week 23 and I finally felt like I looked “pregnant”. For a long time I still felt like it was not that noticeable and friends only knew because I told them. It was nice to finally get that pregnancy baby bump instead of just feeling like I’ve gained all this weight and just look larger. Near the end of my second trimester I do feel a bit like “I cannot believe there is still one more trimester”, but I am grateful that the pregnancy has been pretty smooth (apart from the pandemic) and that Jerry and I are staying happy and healthy.