Preparing Lex for the new baby, their first meeting, and how it’s going!

Family, Motherhood, Pregnancy, Uncategorized

Welcoming a new baby to the family is super exciting but we also need to make sure the older sibling is properly prepped! It is a big adjustment for the older child, they are wondering who this new person is and whether they are still loved like they were before. Each child will react differently and it’s important for parents to be there for them during this big transition. Lex has a strong personality and is extremely attached to me, so we wanted to make sure we did everything we could to make the adjustment as smooth as possible. We expected Lex to be quite jealous of the baby because he was still nursing and he also gets quite territorial with me when Jerry hugs or touches me. However, we also noticed that Lex loves babies and is super gentle and loving to smaller babies in the playground! We did a number of things to prepare Lex for the baby before his arrival and also have some tips for what to do after the baby arrives. We hope this will be helpful if you are going to welcome a lovely little sibling soon!

Here are some things that we did to prepare Lex for his new baby brother:

Read books about welcoming a new baby: We ordered a number of super cute books about welcoming a new baby, mom being pregnant. and becoming a big brother. There are lots online and you can find ones that match with your situation (becoming a big sister or brother etc). Some of are favorite include “My new baby” by Rachel Fuller, “I am a big brother” by Caroline Church, “There’s a house inside my mummy” by Giles Andreae, and we also made a personalized one from Wonderbly.
Talk about the baby: Lex will be 2 when the baby arrives so he was able to understand quite a bit. We spoke about how the baby was inside my belly and how a baby brother would join us soon. We spoke about baby brother often and Lex was really excited to meet him!
Got a present from the baby for Lex: We picked a gift that Lex would love (little wooden train) and told him that it was from his baby brother. Lex was super excited and happy that he was receiving a gift from the baby and this definitely helped develop positive feelings towards the baby. Some websites also suggest having the older sibling pick a gift for the new baby but we felt like Lex would just want to keep it for himself, so we didn’t do that bit.
Took Lex to the doctor’s appointment: we brought Lex a few times to the ultrasound appointment! He was very curious to meet the doctor and to see baby brother with the “special camera”. It was such a special experience and we loved that he was part of the process also.

All these actions seemed to have a positive effect on Lex and he always spoke about baby brother happily. He was excited to meet him and even told him “to come out soon” during the final few weeks. It was so sweet and I felt pretty confident in our preparations for their meeting.

One of my most anticipated moments (apart from meeting Bas), was to see my two boys meet for the first time. I read that you should have the newborn in a neutral position when the older child comes for the first time. This way the older child does not feel threatened and you are also supposed to let them discover the baby on their own. I placed Bas on his little bassinet next to the bed before Lex arrived and made sure I wasn’t nursing or holding Bas. Lex came in and was really excited to see me. We did not tell him about the baby but he gasped when he realized the baby was there. He was so thrilled to see Bas and it completely melted my heart! It was everything I had hoped for and more. Lex was the sweetest most gentle big brother and you could see how much he adored Bas. It is true when they say that your heart just grows in size when you have another child. My heart could burst with love as Lex cradled Bas in his arms and gave him small kisses. I was so proud of my big boy for being such a sweet big brother.

After we brought Bas home, Lex continues to be the sweet and caring big brother. It really is amazing to see how much they adore each other. Bas is always excited to see Lex and smiles. Of course, Lex has his moments and sometimes will be mad at Bas. If Lex is in a bad mood and Bas needs to nurse (I am tandem nursing both), sometimes Lex will smack Bas on the head or try to hurt him in some way. However, this rarely occurs and Lex is mostly excited to help and dote on Bas. Some things that we found helpful were:

Don’t blame things on the baby: when you can’t do something with the toddler such as reading or playing because you are doing something for the baby, don’t say “I cant do ____ because I am ____ with the baby”. This may cause the toddler to resent the baby. Make up some other excuse not related to the baby. We did this in the beginning but after a few months I felt like Bas and Lex’s relationship was secure enough and Lex also had to understand that he needed to be patient, so I stopped doing this. I would tell Lex that Bas is doing this right now and he needs to wait etc.
Let the toddler feel helpful: We always ask Lex to help with Bas, this makes him feel appreciated and included. We might ask him to bring a diaper or to sing for Bas when he is crying.
Talk about how much the baby loves the toddler: I genuinely think that Bas is delighted to see Lex, but I make it into a whole story and tell Lex “Bas loves you so much!” or “Bas loves learning from you, you can teach him so many things!” etc. and Lex is happy to hear it also.
Spend extra quality time with the older child: we were super lucky that the transition period went so smoothly. Lex always asks for Bas to join in whatever outing we go to. Sometimes we say “should we bring Bas?” and Lex always says yes! However, I think it’s also important for Lex and I to spend some quality time so now we do date lunch once a week. I say it’s our special time to reconnect and Lex always looks forward to it.

The transition period has been so smooth and it always warms my heart to see how much Bas and Lex love each other. I hope that they will be best buddies for life and I can’t wait to see how their relationship develops.

Birth story – second pregnancy

Family, Motherhood, Pregnancy, Uncategorized

Things have been so busy with two littles one and I am finally ready to share my birth story after 9 months!

After a super eventful birth story for my first pregnancy, I was really hoping to have a smoother delivery for my second baby. Of course things never seem to go to plan and I find out that my boys like to make their own grand entrance!

After having an emergency c section with Lex, I was really hoping for a VBAC (vaginal birth after c section) for this pregnancy. I had a wonderful experience with Dr. Ghosh for my first pregnancy and was excited to have him again for my second pregnancy. I communicated my wish for a VBAC to him and he was fully supportive, however, he was also realistic and told me to keep my options open. There are a number of factors that make you a good candidate for VBAC and conditions leading up to the birth also need to line up in order for it to happen. A VBAC can only happen if all these criterions are met.

In the weeks leading up to my due date, the baby was measuring pretty big from 3.5 kg in week 37 to 3.7 kg in week 38! Dr. Ghosh also said that he was underestimating the measurement and it was likely that the baby was even bigger. I know that there are a lot of instances where women are completely capable of birthing a large baby, but personally I was getting a little concerned with the size of the baby and how it would make labor and birth more difficult. Dr. Ghosh also said that the baby was starting to get a bit cramped inside so he was in a transverse position, which is not ideal for a smooth vaginal birth. Dr. Ghosh kept joking that I married the wrong husband (who is 6’4) for a vaginal delivery haha! Dr. Ghosh was very frank with us and told us that he thinks it would be best to have a scheduled c section. He also told us that due to scar tissue, it would be very dangerous to have another emergency c section if I was in advanced labor. The surgery would be much more difficult and the risk of complications was high. I was slightly disappointed but I also trust his judgement completely so we felt at peace with the decision. Ultimately, the most important thing is that the delivery is safe for me and the baby.

Our scheduled c section was on July 28, Thursday. We actually felt quite relieved that we had a date and that we didn’t have to wait around to wait for labor to start unexpectedly. However, on Sunday night I started feeling some mild cramping that would come and go. I thought it was Braxton Hicks so decided to go to bed. At 3 am, I woke up from the cramps and couldn’t get back to sleep. I was still thinking it was Braxton Hicks so I decided to walk around and see if it would go away. I searched on my phone and read a few articles about differentiating between real contractions and Braxton Hicks. As I was scuttling around the room, Jerry woke up and asked me what I was doing. I felt that that the cramps were coming at a frequent pace so decided to time the cramps. I was shocked when I realized they were coming every 3-5 minutes! Deep down I had a feeling things were happening but I was still in slight disbelief. I decided to call Matilda just in case and the midwife told me to come in. I was hoping we didn’t have to rush to the hospital at 3 am. We cosleep so Lex was sound asleep in our bed and I felt so sad to leave him like that and have him wake up in the morning confused and wondering where we have gone. If we did end up having the baby today this would mean 4-5 nights away from home and this was not the goodbye I had envisioned with Lex. We woke up our helper and finished packing up some final things into our hospital bag before rushing out the door.

On the ride to the hospital, I was starting to feel like I had to use the bathroom for #2 badly. I also started to feel very nauseas and wanted to throw up. With these symptoms I started to accept that fact that I was in fact in labor. We got to the hospital and they were ready for me and started the check in process. Due to the pandemic, we had to do a RAT and a PCR test to ensure I was negative. It was a bit nerve wrecking since I was pretty sure we were ok, but it was not 100% certain. For my scheduled c section, I was supposed to come in either the day before or hours before my admission to do the PCR test. Private hospitals do not accept patients that have covid and they have to deliver at public hospitals – so it was quite a tense time while we waited for the results. While we were waiting for the urgent PCR result, I went into a room (not in the maternity unit) and they started to monitor the baby’s heart rate and also the contractions. The midwife confirmed that they were indeed real contractions and not Braxton Hicks. I asked her whether this meant it was likely we would have the baby today and she said yes!

Everything was on standby while we waited for the PCR result and they had not contacted Dr. Ghosh yet. I was a bit worried and asked whether they would transport me to the public hospital if I was positive, to my relief they said since I was already in labor they would not do that and would instead put me in a special isolation room. I was relieved to hear I would not be carted off and luckily my result was also negative! I had asked the midwife whether it was still possible to try vaginal birth and she said she would check with Dr. Ghosh. With the PCR result out of the way, they phoned Dr. Ghosh and I heard her tone on the phone suddenly change. The mood suddenly changed and the midwife rushed back in and asked me to use a surgical body wash on my lower abdomen. She says that Dr. Ghosh is concerned because I have had contractions for a long time but it has not progressed properly. We need to move as fast as possible or else the risk of complications will be high if the emergency c section is performed late into labor. We had to rush to the operation theatre for an emergency c section!

Jerry and I were caught off guard and did not expect things to escalate so quickly. Lots of other medical personnel were rushing in and out to check wristbands, take blood, and sign forms. The midwife was contacting other doctors such as the anesthesiologist, pediatrician, and nurses that needed to help out with the operation. The midwife who was with me from the beginning was incredibly sweet and chatty so she definitely made me feel better about the entire situation. I was personally feeling quite calm but it was quite a shock how quickly the pace picked up. I also trusted my doctor and this hospital fully so I knew I was in good hands. Dr. Ghosh came in and gave me a look of disbelief when I asked one last time about a possible VBAC.

Once we were in the operation theatre the anesthesiologist gave me a spinal block and soon I could not move or feel my legs. I really hated that feeling and kept trying to move my toes ala Kill Bill (if you know the scene where Uma Thurman just wakes up from her coma). It was a futile action but I was just curious whether I could do it, but it made me nauseous whenever I tried. The anesthesiologist was really funny and chatty, he played a fun music playlist where every song had the word “baby” in it. I was feeling quite nauseous with the anesthesia and the doctor gave me something to help with the nausea. It helped slightly but I was still feeling quite sickly. I remember not feeling great the first pregnancy but perhaps because I was already so drained, it did not affect me as much. I was more alert and in a normal state of mind for this delivery so the nausea from the anesthesia had a stronger negative affect on me.

At 7:41 our beautiful little boy Sebastian was born! He was crying super loud and was whisked off to be checked by the pediatrician. I was a bit surprised since with Lex he was instantly placed on my chest. I had requested skin to skin as soon as possible with both births so I felt a little impatient while waiting for Bas to be placed on me. It felt like an eternity and I kept looking around to see when they would be done inspecting Bas and I could finally meet my baby.. By the time they placed him on me he was already wrapped up but luckily we got lots of skin to skin back in our room later. He calmed down instantly once he was placed on me and it was such a beautiful and sweet moment. Jerry and Bas went to the nursery to have Bas cleaned and weighed while I was stitched back up. As expected, Bas was a big boy at 3.9 kg! The stitching part of the operation takes a while and I could not wait to get back to the room with Jerry and our new baby!

The birth was once again not what we expected at all but what was most important is that both me and Bas are doing well. I do sometimes wonder what it would be like to have a vaginal birth and I am slightly disappointed that I will never get to experience it. After two c sections all subsequent pregnancies will be c sections – but I am also at peace with how things turned out and I believe all births are beautiful and unique. I had always wanted to see how my physical endurance would play out with a vaginal birth but two emergency c sections also tested my strength in a different way. In many ways a c section was scarier for me than a vaginal birth, I hated the feeling of not being to feel or move my entire lower body and worried about the longer recovery time. Both births were also much more eventful than I expected but I remained calm and adjusted my mindset as things developed. While it was not what I had wanted initially, I will always look back on my births with pride and joy. I can’t believe that I am now the mother of two sweet little boys!

Third trimester – second pregnancy

Pregnancy, Uncategorized

After enjoying the second trimester, it was time to enter the final trimester! I definitely remember feeling much heavier and slower during the third trimester with my first pregnancy and it was no different for my second pregnancy. Similar to other semesters, I did not have as much time to rest since I had to take care of Lex. Overall I still felt pretty good and I was still taking Lex to his playgroup and lifting him and all that, but there were definitely days where it was tougher.

At times my stomach would feel so stretched and distended, but it would usually feel more comfortable once the baby moves further back and is not pushing against my skin. As I got bigger and heavier I also started to walk a bit differently – it was definitely a waddle! The back pain that started around late second trimester was still there and it often happened when I was laying down and would go away when I shifted positions. I felt like my lower back and hip pain was more intense during this pregnancy. It was very uncomfortable constantly and I had to shift around and stretch a little to relieve it.

I also had way less energy and motivation to do any structured workouts. I seriously felt like just existing was already a workout! Walking around was getting tough and the back pain was very uncomfortable. I was still out and about quite a bit so that was good enough for me. I would also go to the pool with Lex and Jerry and floating around in those final weeks was very comfortable.

Apart from the discomfort, we still filled our days with lots of activities including ocean park, alpaca farms, and sport activities for lex. However, it was getting to the peak of summer and the hot weather was becoming quite unbearable for me. I felt quite light headed a few times during the outings so I knew I had to be more careful.

One special thing we had to organize was Lex’s second birthday! We invited some good friends

I had a small scare during 32 weeks as I felt a small amount of liquid come out. Since I did have premature rupture of membranes during my first pregnancy and it started my entire 36 hour ordeal before giving birth to Lex, I wanted to be extra cautious. I was pretty sure it was either pee or discharge but told my doctor anyway. He told me to put in a light pad and to monitor how wet it got after an hour. If it was very wet and odorless, I would have to go to Queen Mary (a public hospital) because I was only at 32 weeks and the baby would be too premature for a private hospital to deal with. I was pretty worried but luckily after an hour the pad was only slightly moist and it smelled like urine. I never thought I would be so happy about leaky urine! Both my doctor and the midwife feel like it is likely urine and that I should not have to worry about it, but to continue monitoring it anyways. Leaking urine during pregnancy (especially during the third trimester) is very common due to extra pressure on the bladder and also changing hormones, but given my past experience I think it is ALWAYS better to be safe that sorry. Premature rupture of membranes or leaking amniotic fluid can have very detrimental affects for your unborn baby and it is always better to be sure.

Another issue I had to deal with during my third trimester was a possible listeria scare. I had watery diarrhea on a Thursday and then slightly looser stool until Monday. I didn’t have to go multiple times a day and overall felt ok but was worried since it was going on for a few days. Listeria is also very scary because the symptoms can be extremely mild and some people don’t even know they have it! Untreated listeria can have terrible effects on your baby such as neurological disorders and even stillborn. I called up my doctor and he referred me to a family doctor. Apparently a blood PCR or stool test to properly diagnose whether I had listeria would take 1-2 weeks, which was ridiculous! I decided to just be extra safe and started the course of antibiotics without doing the tests. It’s not ideal that I have to take medications during my pregnancy but I rather be extra cautious, and the antibiotics prescribed are also totally safe for my pregnancy. It was frustrating as I have been mostly eating at home in the days leading up to my upset tummy, but I tried to be even more careful in the final few weeks before delivery.

The final weeks are truly so uncomfortable and I am so ready to not be pregnant!

Second trimester – second pregnancy

Pregnancy, Uncategorized

The second trimester is the golden period of pregnancy and I really felt great during this time. The nausea was all gone and I had more energy than before. It almost feels like I’m not pregnant!

One major difference between this pregnancy and the first one is that I have a wild toddler to take care of. In the first pregnancy, I could rest and relax as much as I wanted. With the second pregnancy, I didn’t really have that much time to think about being pregnant and wistfully prepare for the arrival of the baby. Lex also still does not sleep through the night so that was definitely tough to deal with while pregnant. I was really struggling with the first trimester as I felt sick and fatigued often. Lex is super energetic and also has strong emotions so it’s not always easy with him. We still had our wonderful part time helper but she only came for half days so mornings were typically quite tough for me when I was not feeling my best during the first trimester. That is why the easiness of the second trimester was more appreciated than ever in this pregnancy.

Lots of fun activities with Lex during my pregnancy

In my first pregnancy, I was still navigating different workouts and getting used to my fitness and energy level during pregnancy. With the second pregnancy, I had a better idea of what worked and didn’t work. I got a walking pad and I would do walking exercises a few times a week. I also continued to do prenatal workouts with BodyFitbyAmy. I did not run at all during my first pregnancy but did a run once a week until week 20. I had felt pretty good during my runs, but by week 19 I was getting a painful stitch every time I ran so I knew it was time to stop. I was bummed that I couldn’t run anymore but the walking pad was really helpful and I did walks at home frequently. It was super convenient and I was really glad that I was able to keep up with a low impact workout. Pregnancy is no time to push the limit and set new fitness goals, all I wanted was to keep moving and feel good. I was really happy with my workout frequency in the second trimester and I would work out 3-4 times in the weekdays and weekends would be quality time with Jerry and Lex that often included walks and time at the pool or beach.

Of course another exciting part of the second trimester is that we get to find out the gender of our baby! We were so thrilled to find out that we were having another little boy! I have loved being a boy mom so much and we were so excited to have another little monkey to chase after. However, it is also the time when you get annoying comments from random people. People LOVE to ask about whether it’s a girl (which is mostly harmless), but some even have the nerve to look really sad or sorry for me when I say I am having another boy. I don’t understand why it’s so hard for some people to grasp that perhaps not everyone wants one boy and one girl? It’s so weird that some people assume every wants that. I am perfectly happy being a boy mom and it’s so rude of people to make negative and presumptuous comments. It is especially irritating when I’ve already stated that I am happy to have two boys and people still want to say something dumb like “but a girl would be so nice!”. Irritating comments aside, we are always super excited to find out the gender of our baby. It is also the time we find out the results for the NIPT, and it’s always a relief to know that every thing is normal. Once we knew it was a boy, I was so excited to start nesting and take out Lex’s cute old clothes for baby brother.

Having a second boy also made selecting the name easy. We had two final names narrowed down when we had Lex and we picked Alexander because we felt it fit him better. We also loved the other name and we had agreed that if we had a second son we would use that name. We did do a tiny bit of name research anyways but I already had my heart set on that name.

Due to the hormones, I had to get up in the middle of the night to pee during the first trimester. Luckily this started to go away in the 2nd trimester. I also suspect that I felt some baby movement around week 16 but the movements became more obvious at week 18. One very uncomfortable symptom was that my allergies got horrendously worse during pregnancy. I always had nasal allergies but it was very severe during my pregnancy. I also did not want to take allergy medicine during pregnancy so it was tough to deal with. This was particularly unfortunate during Covid times, when I would be sneezing and sniffling nonstop. Another annoying symptom was that my lower back was starting to get quite sore as I neared the end of my 2nd trimester.

In terms of breastfeeding, my milk supply also completely dried up during the 2nd trimester. Lex still asked for milk and was just dry nursing at this point. I think he just liked the comfort from the suckling. We had mostly night weaned by now and Lex would nurse around 3 times a day.

Generally this trimester was great and I felt pretty good until near the end. I was gaining weight at a pace that I was comfortable with. The dry scalp from first trimester was also gone. One thing I noticed is that I did not get a linea negra on my belly this time. It was very prominent with the first pregnancy but I did not get it this time during the second trimester, perhaps it will show up later in the third trimester!

Postpartum fitness (first pregnancy) – Months 4-6… hit a slump then it’s time to take it to the next level!

Fitness, Motherhood, Pregnancy, Uncategorized

These few months really showed me what a roller coaster the postpartum fitness journey was! After seeing some improvements, especially with my run, I hit a wall and suddenly had a very tough workout. Even at my fittest, I could just have an off day – but it was still very frustrating. There were times where I felt like I was never going to be as fit again, but I knew that had to get out of that headspace and remind myself that I had setbacks during my Ironman training too. There were days where I felt like I was not improving at all, but of course all the training paid off in the end when I completed my Ironman and did it below my goal time! Some days may be tough, but I needed to always keep in mind that hard work and perseverance always win in the end.

During Christmas, I decided to take a week long break and indulge. Of course, there was nothing wrong with that but it also was a bit of a drag to get back to training. I was still working out at around the same frequency as the 2-4 months period but with a little bit more intensity. My birthday followed after Christmas and it was another few days of indulgent eating. After that, I decided it was time to take it up a notch. It has been 6 months since I gave birth. I felt like I had given myself ample time to recover and I could push myself a bit more now.

We had started to do family hikes on Sunday and were initially doing a gentle and flat hike. I decided that we were going to start doing the Twins every Sunday instead. For those not in Hong Kong, the Twins is a relatively tough hike with a lot of stairs. It is a great workout! The timing worked out perfectly with Lex’s growth because he was now able to hang out in the carrier for a longer period of time without getting fussy. Major shout out to my husband who carried this little 18 pound weight during the entire hike!

I also decided to increase my trainer rides from 30 minutes to an hour and to follow a training program. I did not do all the programs of the week because there were 3 and that was too much, but I did 2 of them per week. This was the same program that I used for my race trainings. It felt nice to follow a structured program and that I was dedicating more time to building my bike fitness again. Bike fitness was my toughest discipline during triathlon and it took me a while to develop my bike fitness. However, it was sometimes hard to do a full hour ride with an energetic baby around. Luckily we have a helper who is wonderful with Lex and he was starting to accept the bottle more.

Another fun workout that I started doing were couple run + HIIT circuits with Jerry! It’s not always easy to find time for one another so I decided to make one of our workouts into a “date” activity. We would run to the beach together and then do HIIT circuits such as squat jumps, mountain climbers, and lunges. It was so exciting to be able to do mountain climbers like my pre pregnancy self, when I could hardly do a few when I had just gotten back to working out postpartum!

We also continued to do fun and active family outings together. One activity was kayaking and swimming together! Jerry and I both love an active lifestyle and we hope that we can instill that love in Lex too. One highlight was participating in the our triathlon team’s swim/run event. Jerry and I participated together and even brought Lex! We did a relay so we passed Lex to each other when it was our turn to swim or run. It was such a fun event and also gave me back a taste of the exhilaration and joy of racing.

I also told my personal trainer my plans of leveling up my workouts and she was happy to oblige. We started increasing the weights and intensity and it was very motivating to feel myself get stronger and stronger!

I definitely felt a big difference after all the changes I made to my workout regime and it was incredibly motivating. Due to the pandemic, we were unable to travel for races. It is difficult to work up to race fitness without a race to train for, but I was happy to get myself back to my base fitness. The postpartum fitness journey was very humbling, it was definitely harder than I expected! I am very proud of myself for finding the balance between giving my body time and pushing myself.

First trimester – second pregnancy

Motherhood, Pregnancy, Uncategorized

I can’t believe this is round two for me! I was pretty lucky to have a relatively smooth pregnancy with only some symptoms so it will be interesting to see whether this pregnancy will be similar.

Unfortunately the first thing I noticed was that the morning sickness was WAY worse this time around. It could also be due to the fact that I found out my pregnancy while we were in a 3 week hotel quarantine. The lack of fresh air and being stuck in a hotel room definitely made things worse. I felt so unwell and really just wanted to be in bed all day. I had to get my act together though because I had to play with Lex and make sure he was taken care of during the quarantine. It was definitely a pretty tough experience and once we got out and had some fresh air I already felt slightly better. In my first pregnancy, I did feel a bit nauseous but I would never actually throw up. I did projectile vomit a few times this pregnancy, especially if I had an overly indulgent meal. I also noticed that I had a lot of saliva which is apparently another symptom of morning sickness. I usually felt better after eating and certain foods that I usually loved seems absolutely repulsive to me (like salmon!). I also had to burp quite a bit, especially after eating. The nausea got better around 8 weeks but then got worse again by 9 weeks… yay for 1 week of respite. Lex also got quite sick around then so I was also extra tired and not sleeping well from taking care of him. Thankfully, the nausea went away completely by 11/12, which was similar to my first pregnancy.

Feeling totally horrid during quarantine but cuddles help!

Another difference was how TIRED I felt this pregnancy. It is normal to be fatigued during the first trimester but I definitely felt this way more this time. With my first pregnancy, I could rest and sleep as much as I wanted, but now I had a wild toddler to take care of. Lex also is still not sleeping through the night and I alway respond and support him over night, so it was definitely tough to be doing both that and also going through the first trimester. I took Lex to his playgroup 3 times a week and we also continued to do fun things as a family on weekends. We did not have full time helper (our part time comes at 12 pm) so mornings were also quite tough for me since I was on my own. Some days I find myself almost dozing off while reading to Lex!

I have read that women show more quickly during the second pregnancy and this was definitely true for me! I felt like I already looked slightly pregnant at 8 weeks. I remember with my first pregnancy I didn’t really look properly pregnant until 5-6 months. Some other symptoms include a very annoyingly dry scalp. My scalp would be very itchy and dry and flakes of skin would come off. I also noticed my c section scar darkening a bit.

Not feeling great but I have to keep up with my little man!

I am still breastfeeding Lex and this was a little uncomfortable because nipples become quite sensitive during pregnancy. Overall it is doable but there are times when it hurts quite a bit. Luckily he is slowly feeding more and we are also gently night weaning him (more on that in another post!). My milk supply also seemed to be reduced but I was still producing milk.

Overall I think my two pregnancies have been relatively similar and luckily no major discomforts. I am looking forward to the second trimester!

Baby #2!

Pregnancy, Uncategorized

We have always wanted more than one child and when Lex was 12 months we were ready to start planning for baby #2. Unfortunately at the time of when we were ready to start trying, I still did not have my period yet due to breastfeeding. We had started trying anyways even without my period because sometimes you are lucky and catch the first egg, but that didn’t happen for us. If you read my last post you would know that I was able to get my period back at 14 months.

For my first pregnancy we were super lucky and got pregnant on the first try, we did not use any ovulation tests or period tracking at all since we were just starting out and wanted to just go with the flow. However, since we were already a tiny bit behind schedule with my period I decided to use ovulation tests this time to be as efficient as possible. We also don’t have as much time and energy to get frisky as often as when we were childfree. I quickly learnt that it took a little bit of practice to read an ovulation test properly. I found this guide to be very helpful. Basically in ovulation tests there is a test line and the control line. The tests indicate the LH amount in your urine and you ovulation after an LH surge. You have LH throughout your cycle so its possible to see two lines throughout your cycle. It is important to realize this because with pregnancy tests two lines mean you are pregnant! What you want to see is a test line that is as dark or darker than the control line, indicating a LH surge. Once you have the surge, you should ovulate in the next 24-48 hours (which means its time to get busy!).

I initially bought a 5 pack from the drug store and quickly learnt that 5 was definitely not enough. My period had just came back so it was still quite sporadic and I had no idea when I would ovulate. The typical ovulation period is day 14 of a typical 28 day cycle but it could range a lot between women. I downloaded a super useful app called PreMom that tells me when I should be ovulating and when to start testing. I bought a big pack of ovulation strips from Amazon, which I found to be way more useful for someone who is just starting to figure out their ovulation schedule. I started at day 7 as the app recommended and was slightly disappointed when day 14, 15, and 16 passed and I did not get a positive result. I was starting to wonder if the tests were working but many reviews on Amazon said to BE PATIENT and luckily I kept testing because I did not get my LH surge until day 29! Unfortunately, we did not get pregnant the first try but the tests did give me an idea of when to test. Since I knew my cycle was all over the place and my surge was way later, I decided to not test until day 16. I also kept an eye on cervical fluid because you want to be looking out for raw egg white texture, which means you are ovulating soon. On this cycle I was able to find my peak at day 18! It was really interesting to see how my cycle was shifting. Because of the ovulation test, we were able to ensure that we got busy during my most fertile days. All there was left to do was to wait around 14 days and do a pregnancy test!

All this happened while we were in Holland and we were back in Hong Kong doing our 3 week quarantine. I was starting to feel super hot all the time and would break out in sweat right after I ate. Jerry and I kept fighting over the thermostat because I was hot and he was freezing. I started to feel like something was up because Jerry is usually much warmer than me. I decided to take a pregnancy test a few days early and saw a super faint line!! I was so excited but it was also a weird feeling since the line was so incredibly faint. I read that in that case you should wait a feel days to allow the HCG levels (the hormone that pregnancy tests detect) to increase and to test again. It was so difficult to wait and I took another one in 3-4 days and the line was MUCH darker. It’s confirmed!

Using the ovulation strips was very helpful and it allowed us to make sure we got busy on my most fertile days. For this pregnancy we got pregnant at my second cycle. I think the ovulation strips were particularly important this time because my cycle was all over the place. As parents of an energetic toddler, it was really helpful to have extra information to make the baby making process more efficient. I hope that this post helps other parents who are also TTC! Lex was 16 months when we got the good news so the age difference will be 25 months.

We can’t believe we are going to have another baby and feel so blessed to be able to welcome another little love into our family!

Postpartum fitness journey (first pregnancy) – Months 0-4: slow but steady progress

Fitness, Motherhood, Pregnancy, Uncategorized

The postpartum fitness journey has been a roller coaster! There are days where I feel strong and like I am making great progress, then suddenly I feel unfit and weak again. I was very lucky to have a very smooth c-section recovery. I was able to move the next day and walk around. I hear from friends that some have intense pain and need to stay in bed so I was very grateful that I felt fine and was totally mobile. I did have to extra careful when I was getting up and to not strain my ab muscles. I hardly had any pain in my wound but the edges of the wound felt a little tender. My doctor gave me panadol and some stronger meds but I did not need to use the stronger meds at all and only a little bit of panadol. After I got home, I was able to hang and fold some laundry. In a week I was also able to cook again! I was able to hold and breastfeed Lex with zero problems. I went back to see my doctor 1 week post op to remove the plaster and 2 weeks post op to put on on a scar minimization bandaid. I really took it easy and did not do much until at least week 6 as recommended by my doctor.

During the months of 2-4, it was mostly quite positive and I felt like I was making good progress. However, I was also feeling stuck on whether I should be pushing myself harder or be taking things slower. I did not want to give myself too much pressure and to give my body some time, but I also like being challenged and enjoyed feeling fit and strong. I decided to create a fitness plan for myself but with some more flexibility to fit in my current fitness and lifestyle as a new mom. I also made sure to track my progress and to have a plan of how to continually improve and increase the intensity or duration of my workouts.

Back when I was training properly for triathlons, I was on a super strict workout regime and basically followed everything to a T. I hardly missed a workout and if I did I might move it to the next day to make up for it. With my postpartum workout plan, it was no longer possible to follow a strict daily workout and instead I made a workout plan that included ranges of what I wanted to achieve in a week such as “1-2 runs” or “1-2 Youtube workouts”. I also did not link each workout to a day because I never know whether that day I will be super busy with Lex or be exhausted after a tough night. I enjoyed having a loose guideline of what my workouts should look like so I had some sense of direction but it also did not restrict or stressed me out too much. My plan was to work out 5-6 times a week but I would not beat myself up if I sometimes only worked out 4 times a week.

By 9 weeks, I was moving into high intensity workouts such as HIIT (high intensity interval training). I was still doing some postpartum workouts but was slowly starting to do regular workouts also. By 10 weeks, I was no longer doing postpartum workouts and was also starting to do the advanced moves in the regular workouts (Bodyfit by Amy gives you lots of options for all fitness levels, I also tried out some fun dance fitness classes on Pop Sugar). I also started training with my postnatal trainer for personal training again at 10 weeks. Around this time of 2-3 months, I definitely saw improvement and noticed how I was able to do lunges for a longer time before getting tired and busting out high impact moves that would totally destroy me before.

Love that my pre/postnatal gym is super dog and baby friendly!

By around 3 months, I was ready to incorporate triathlon training back into my workout regime. The bike was always my weakest discipline and I was not looking forward to getting back on the trainer. Bike fitness takes a long time to build and I was feeling a little apprehensive to find out how much fitness I’ve lost. I started doing free rides on my bike on the trainer at first and did short rides of 20-30 minutes. After a few weeks of free riding, I signed up for TrainerRoad again to have more structured training rides. In terms of running, I was able to do two runs during the week, one interval run in my building’s gym and one longer run outside. I slowly built up the longer run to around 4 km and was feeling quite strong and that I was able to push my pace a bit on the uphills!

I still did not feel like I was back at my base fitness, but it was encouraging to see the improvements! It definitely is taking longer than I expected and I did not think I would ever feel this heavy or unfit, but what is most important is that I am getting the work in and slowly building my strength and fitness back!

Getting your period back while breastfeeding

Motherhood, Pregnancy, Uncategorized

I never thought I would be hoping to get my period back since as all women know, periods are no fun. However, I was over a year postpartum and we were starting to think about baby #2. Before becoming a mom, I actually had no idea that breastfeeding delayed the return of fertility and actually acts as a natural form of contraception. While I loved not getting my period and all the other lovely PMS symptoms for such a long time, I started to look up ways to get my period back when we started to think about trying for the second baby.

Breastfeeding delays your period because when the baby is nursing, prolactin is released and it inhibits ovulation (in super simple terms). The term is called lactation amenorrhea. If you are exclusively breastfeeding and breastfeeding on demand, the chance of getting your period back is quite low. However, once you start introducing solids and you are no long exclusively breastfeeding, the chance of pregnancy increases and you should use other contraceptive methods IF you don’t want to get pregnant.

Lex is a total MILK MONSTER and loves nursing day and night. Therefore I was a bit worried that I would not be able to get my period back soon. We were definitely not ready to wean and I also did not want to deny Lex milk just so I would get my period back. I tried the “not offering but not saying no” approach where I wouldn’t offer milk to Lex but I would also allow him to nurse whenever he wanted. This worked out ok in the beginning but soon he was getting so demanding and he would rip at my shirt whenever he wanted milk. He was also teething A LOT (8 teeth in 2-3 months) so he really needed the extra comfort and was nursing nonstop.

I decided to do a deeper dig into the research and see what else I could do to try and get my period back instead of decreasing Lex’s nursing. I was really excited to find these amazing two articles, which provided some very interesting research on how to get pregnant without affecting your nursing at all! Both articles mention the Metabolic Load Hypothesis, which basically means that a woman gets her period back when her energy level is positive again. Breastfeeding and childbirth takes a big toll on your body, so essentially the hypothesis states that a woman will get her period back when her body feels ready and has enough energy. Both articles recommend basically eating more and lessening structured exercise.

I was really excited to find out that there was another way to get my period, but I was still in my postpartum fitness journey and had just gotten back to my pre-pregnancy weight and fitness. I didn’t really feel like intentionally lowering my exercises or increasing my food intake. However, the timing worked out really well since Lex’s teething caused his sleep to be absolutely horrible so I became very tired for a few weeks and naturally decreased my exercise. We also had a staycation and some extra dinners so I did increase my caloric intake a little. I also did try to be a bit more relaxed about my eating and exercise in general. I noticed that after the few weeks I did gain a bit of weight like 2-3 pounds.

At 13 months postpartum, I noticed that my cervical fluid was quite watery. I was excited and felt that maybe this was a sign that things were happening. At 14 months, the cervical fluid was quite thick and I also had mild cramps for around 4 days. Two weeks later my period came! I was ecstatic! While I am not 100% sure whether it had to do with my relaxation of food and exercise or that it was just because I was 14 months postpartum and Lex’s nursing patterns had changed, I am very glad that it returned and I hope that this information also helps other moms who are trying to get their period back while breastfeeding!

My birth story

Motherhood, Pregnancy

I am so thrilled to finally share my birth story! It took me a while to write it up, because things have been in full swing since baby Lex arrived. It was also a lot to process, so I wanted to take some time before finally writing it out.

Leading up to the due date, we were getting extremely impatient and were desperate for our baby boy to arrive. We had been sure that he would come early (a total hunch), since he was measuring big and many of Jerry’s friends’ babies came early. On the day before the due date, I lost my mucus plug and Jerry excitedly packed his hospital bag… but we soon found out that while loosing the mucus plug meant things were going in the right direction, labor could start in hours or weeks.

My due date came and went and I was scheduled to see my doctor in the coming week to discuss options. At 40+3 days, I woke up at 4 am and felt a small bit of water coming out. I went to the bathroom to check, but was unsure whether it was amniotic fluid or not. I put on a pad and went back to sleep. At 6 am I felt another small gush and I decided to call the hospital to double check. The medical staff told me to come in to be monitored, so we got to the Matilda Hospital at 9 am and I was shown into the Delivery Spa (what a name!). I had two belts put on my belly, one to monitor contractions and one to monitor the baby’s heart rate. Fortunately everything seemed normal, so I just had to wait for my doctor (Dr. Ghosh) to come in. We did a quick test to check whether the fluid was amniotic fluid and it came back as a weak positive. Dr. Ghosh advised me to stay in the hospital, because this meant I had a premature rupture of membranes, as my waters had broke but labor had not properly started (I had some very weak contractions and my cervix was completely closed). Jerry and I were excited! This meant that things were finally happening. Little did we know this was the beginning of a very long and difficult two days. We spent the entire day walking around the hospital, bouncing on the exercise ball, and doing labor inducing exercises to try and get spontaneous labor started.

After moving around all day, contractions were still not happening and at 8 pm Dr. Ghosh suggested a pessary to induce labor. The pessary is put in your vagina and is a more gentle way to induce labor. The next stage is to use the synthetic form of oxycontin (syntocinon/pitocin), but this is much stronger. Dr. Ghosh wanted to see how my body reacted to the pessary before putting me on the IV syntocinon drip. Dr. Ghosh also told me that if my body would not react well, there was chance that we would have to opt for a c-section. I was quite worried that we would have to do that, because I had hoped for an all natural birth with as few medical interventions as possible, but I was also open to the idea if it made the most sense for me and my baby. I went to bed hoping that the pessary would work.

At 4 am, I felt a huge gush of water and woke up. My water had properly broke (like in the movies) and in the next few hours I experienced periodic huge gushes of water. I almost even slipped on my own amniotic fluid at one point. I started to have frequent contractions and had to be monitored again. At around 5 am, I had my first bloody show. I was getting excited! Things seemed to be going in the right direction. Perhaps I could have my natural birth as planned.

The contractions were bearable at this point and just felt like a dull period cramp. At around 6:30 am, contractions were coming around every 2 minutes and getting quite uncomfortable and I started doing my breathing exercises with Jerry. At 8:00 am, contractions were starting to slow down again and Dr. Ghosh came in to examine me. I was disappointed to learn that after hours of contractions my cervix had hardly opened. However, Dr. Ghosh felt that we had enough progress to move onto the syntocinon/pitocin IV drip. At this point I had mixed feelings. I was excited to get the contractions to be stronger to move me along to delivery, but induction of labor increases the risk of a c-section and pitocin use also causes contractions that are “usually stronger, more regular and more frequent than those where labor has begun naturally”. I had wanted to try delivering my baby without any pain relief, so the risk of having more intense and frequent contractions was a bit worrying. Dr. Ghosh also asked me whether I wanted to consider an epidural now, which was surprising because he knew of my birth plan and how I wanted to refrain from pain relief unless absolutely needed. However, I soon found out why he gave me the option early…

Once the pitocin started, things ramped up quickly. The contractions came back stronger than ever before and I was really starting to struggle. It felt like everything was cramping up and there were stabbing pains in my entire abdomen. Jerry would stand with me to do the breathing exercises that I learnt during the Positive Birth Course, but soon I was unable to follow with the breathing because it was just too painful. I felt that swaying around during the contractions felt better than laying down, but at times I was in so much pain that I had to grasp the side of the bed. It was also unfortunate that the midwife assigned to me at that time was quite unsupportive and stoic. She kept saying that these contractions were not even the worst yet and I had a long way to go. I really just wanted to tell her to STFU and after a while asked her if she ever had kids. She said “no” so I wanted to tell her that she clearly has no idea what I was going through. The dosage of pitocin was gradually being increased and the contractions became stronger and stronger.

Unfortunately, my baby’s heart rate also started to decelerate, so Dr. Ghosh was called and the dosage was lowered and was not to be increased anymore. The breathing exercises were supposed to be done in sets of 4 because that is how long normal contractions were, however, these contractions lasted for much longer. You are also supposed to have a bit of a break between contractions but they started to come right after another. At this point it was past lunch time, but I had no appetite, as I was consumed with just trying to get through the contractions. Even though I did not find my midwife to be supportive, she was extremely diligent in noting down my baby’s heart rate and also provided me with some useful information regarding pain relief options. I did not want gas or a pethidine injection, because I did not want to feel out of it or tired. Therefore the epidural made the most sense to me. She also told me that at this rate, I had at least 6+ hours to go… hearing that made me finally bite the bullet and agree to an epidural.

I had said I would be open to the idea of an epidural if things became too difficult, but I could not help but feel like I had let myself down and that I had failed. I really wanted to try and power through the birth and even though I knew that I already had the induction, which made things more laborious, it was still a disappointment. However, the idea of being in this much pain (and probably even stronger contractions) for another 6 or more hours was unfathomable. At that point I was unable to eat, felt nauseous, and was shaking. I knew that I had to set aside my pride and do what made sense.

Once I got the epidural, things were a lot easier. However, I still had a strange cramping sensation in my back/bum area. I was finally able to relax a little and ordered some food. Dr. Ghosh came every few hours to check on me and I was desperate to see whether I had progressed. Sadly, after hours of painful contractions, he said that my cervix had only dilated to 3 cm. 4 hours later, my cervix was only at 7 cm and my baby’s head was also not low enough. Dr. Ghosh said that he would check one more time later at night and if things were still not progressing, we would have to go for the c-section. The midwife suggested that I go on all fours (on the bed with pillows under me) to help the baby’s head engage and I did that for about an hour. Once I sat back up, I felt extremely unwell and ended up throwing up everything. The midwife took my temperature and I had a fever at 37.9, which then increased to 38.4 a while later.

Dr. Ghosh was called again and notified of this development. It has been almost 40 hours since my water first broke and with the fever there was now a serious risk of infection. There was no choice but to go for the emergency c-section. When I heard that, I instantly felt a bit panicked, even though I knew this was a potential outcome all along. I also felt a bit let down, because after all these hours of trying, we still had to come to this final step. I was so eager to have a natural delivery and to see what my body was capable of. I have always been proud of my resilience and fitness, I felt that no matter how difficult and painful something was, my grit would carry me through, just like in all my triathlons and marathons. The Positive Birth course made a point to say that “your body was designed to do this”, and while it is meant to be a motivating statement, when things go the other way, it could make you question “what was wrong with my body?”. Birth is an extremely complicated and precisely coordinated event between mother and baby, and I had to accept that things were just not in sync. I also accepted that the delivery was not an event for my ego, if things were not working out, I had to do what was best for my baby and myself. I also had to give myself some credit for going through a very difficult labor and handling it the best that I could.

Tears welled up in my eyes but there was hardly any time to be upset. I was also beyond exhausted and mentally drained at that point. It was around 8 pm and we had hardly had any sleep the night before. I wished that we could just pause everything and that I could have one normal night of sleep before going to the c-section. Luckily I had a new lovely midwife helping me who was incredibly warm and supportive, which made a huge difference. She said “good girl, you are doing so well and you have been through a lot” (YES THANK YOU). Jerry knew how I felt and instantly told me that everything was going to be ok, this was what was best for me and our baby boy. Medical staff started moving around at a noticeably quicker pace and I was wheeled into the operating theatre.

Even though I knew it was completely irrational, I kept thinking of all the worst case scenarios, where the anesthesia would not work and I would be the one in a billion person who would suddenly feel all the pain of being sliced open. Luckily, my anesthesiologist was a complete angel (and probably has dealt with people with similar fears) and was extremely reassuring and kind. He kept saying that they would double check everything and ensure that I would feel nothing. He walked me through the entire process and also told me that I would only feel some tugging and pressure. If I felt any pain at all I was to let him know immediately. He put an ice pack on my stomach and asked if I felt it, I told him that I felt the pressure but not the coldness. We were ready to go. He also engaged in carefree banter with me to take my mind off the operation. I felt much more at ease and then he told me that the c-section had already started without me even realizing it! There was a lot of weird tugging and pushing sensations but as promised, I felt no pain.

My mood during this time was peculiar. We had spent months and months waiting for this special moment, but because of how exhausting and painful these last two days had been, my mood was a bit flat. I was unhappy that my excitement was no longer at the same level during this momentous time, but I just felt so drained I wanted it to just be over. However, Dr. Ghosh indicated that our baby was almost out and all those feelings suddenly came back when I heard his cry for the first time – this was our son! All the doctors were laughing happily and said that he was a big baby! He was placed onto my chest instantly for skin to skin and our baby slowly opened his eyes to look at me. It is hard to describe how it felt but it is a moment that I will never forget. There were so many emotions rushing through me and I looked at Jerry – we were now a family.