Welcoming a new baby to the family is super exciting but we also need to make sure the older sibling is properly prepped! It is a big adjustment for the older child, they are wondering who this new person is and whether they are still loved like they were before. Each child will react differently and it’s important for parents to be there for them during this big transition. Lex has a strong personality and is extremely attached to me, so we wanted to make sure we did everything we could to make the adjustment as smooth as possible. We expected Lex to be quite jealous of the baby because he was still nursing and he also gets quite territorial with me when Jerry hugs or touches me. However, we also noticed that Lex loves babies and is super gentle and loving to smaller babies in the playground! We did a number of things to prepare Lex for the baby before his arrival and also have some tips for what to do after the baby arrives. We hope this will be helpful if you are going to welcome a lovely little sibling soon!
Here are some things that we did to prepare Lex for his new baby brother:
Read books about welcoming a new baby: We ordered a number of super cute books about welcoming a new baby, mom being pregnant. and becoming a big brother. There are lots online and you can find ones that match with your situation (becoming a big sister or brother etc). Some of are favorite include “My new baby” by Rachel Fuller, “I am a big brother” by Caroline Church, “There’s a house inside my mummy” by Giles Andreae, and we also made a personalized one from Wonderbly.
Talk about the baby: Lex will be 2 when the baby arrives so he was able to understand quite a bit. We spoke about how the baby was inside my belly and how a baby brother would join us soon. We spoke about baby brother often and Lex was really excited to meet him!
Got a present from the baby for Lex: We picked a gift that Lex would love (little wooden train) and told him that it was from his baby brother. Lex was super excited and happy that he was receiving a gift from the baby and this definitely helped develop positive feelings towards the baby. Some websites also suggest having the older sibling pick a gift for the new baby but we felt like Lex would just want to keep it for himself, so we didn’t do that bit.
Took Lex to the doctor’s appointment: we brought Lex a few times to the ultrasound appointment! He was very curious to meet the doctor and to see baby brother with the “special camera”. It was such a special experience and we loved that he was part of the process also.
All these actions seemed to have a positive effect on Lex and he always spoke about baby brother happily. He was excited to meet him and even told him “to come out soon” during the final few weeks. It was so sweet and I felt pretty confident in our preparations for their meeting.
One of my most anticipated moments (apart from meeting Bas), was to see my two boys meet for the first time. I read that you should have the newborn in a neutral position when the older child comes for the first time. This way the older child does not feel threatened and you are also supposed to let them discover the baby on their own. I placed Bas on his little bassinet next to the bed before Lex arrived and made sure I wasn’t nursing or holding Bas. Lex came in and was really excited to see me. We did not tell him about the baby but he gasped when he realized the baby was there. He was so thrilled to see Bas and it completely melted my heart! It was everything I had hoped for and more. Lex was the sweetest most gentle big brother and you could see how much he adored Bas. It is true when they say that your heart just grows in size when you have another child. My heart could burst with love as Lex cradled Bas in his arms and gave him small kisses. I was so proud of my big boy for being such a sweet big brother.
After we brought Bas home, Lex continues to be the sweet and caring big brother. It really is amazing to see how much they adore each other. Bas is always excited to see Lex and smiles. Of course, Lex has his moments and sometimes will be mad at Bas. If Lex is in a bad mood and Bas needs to nurse (I am tandem nursing both), sometimes Lex will smack Bas on the head or try to hurt him in some way. However, this rarely occurs and Lex is mostly excited to help and dote on Bas. Some things that we found helpful were:
Don’t blame things on the baby: when you can’t do something with the toddler such as reading or playing because you are doing something for the baby, don’t say “I cant do ____ because I am ____ with the baby”. This may cause the toddler to resent the baby. Make up some other excuse not related to the baby. We did this in the beginning but after a few months I felt like Bas and Lex’s relationship was secure enough and Lex also had to understand that he needed to be patient, so I stopped doing this. I would tell Lex that Bas is doing this right now and he needs to wait etc.
Let the toddler feel helpful: We always ask Lex to help with Bas, this makes him feel appreciated and included. We might ask him to bring a diaper or to sing for Bas when he is crying.
Talk about how much the baby loves the toddler: I genuinely think that Bas is delighted to see Lex, but I make it into a whole story and tell Lex “Bas loves you so much!” or “Bas loves learning from you, you can teach him so many things!” etc. and Lex is happy to hear it also.
Spend extra quality time with the older child: we were super lucky that the transition period went so smoothly. Lex always asks for Bas to join in whatever outing we go to. Sometimes we say “should we bring Bas?” and Lex always says yes! However, I think it’s also important for Lex and I to spend some quality time so now we do date lunch once a week. I say it’s our special time to reconnect and Lex always looks forward to it.
The transition period has been so smooth and it always warms my heart to see how much Bas and Lex love each other. I hope that they will be best buddies for life and I can’t wait to see how their relationship develops.
Things have been so busy with two littles one and I am finally ready to share my birth story after 9 months!
After a super eventful birth story for my first pregnancy, I was really hoping to have a smoother delivery for my second baby. Of course things never seem to go to plan and I find out that my boys like to make their own grand entrance!
After having an emergency c section with Lex, I was really hoping for a VBAC (vaginal birth after c section) for this pregnancy. I had a wonderful experience with Dr. Ghosh for my first pregnancy and was excited to have him again for my second pregnancy. I communicated my wish for a VBAC to him and he was fully supportive, however, he was also realistic and told me to keep my options open. There are a number of factors that make you a good candidate for VBAC and conditions leading up to the birth also need to line up in order for it to happen. A VBAC can only happen if all these criterions are met.
In the weeks leading up to my due date, the baby was measuring pretty big from 3.5 kg in week 37 to 3.7 kg in week 38! Dr. Ghosh also said that he was underestimating the measurement and it was likely that the baby was even bigger. I know that there are a lot of instances where women are completely capable of birthing a large baby, but personally I was getting a little concerned with the size of the baby and how it would make labor and birth more difficult. Dr. Ghosh also said that the baby was starting to get a bit cramped inside so he was in a transverse position, which is not ideal for a smooth vaginal birth. Dr. Ghosh kept joking that I married the wrong husband (who is 6’4) for a vaginal delivery haha! Dr. Ghosh was very frank with us and told us that he thinks it would be best to have a scheduled c section. He also told us that due to scar tissue, it would be very dangerous to have another emergency c section if I was in advanced labor. The surgery would be much more difficult and the risk of complications was high. I was slightly disappointed but I also trust his judgement completely so we felt at peace with the decision. Ultimately, the most important thing is that the delivery is safe for me and the baby.
Ready to not be pregnant!
Our scheduled c section was on July 28, Thursday. We actually felt quite relieved that we had a date and that we didn’t have to wait around to wait for labor to start unexpectedly. However, on Sunday night I started feeling some mild cramping that would come and go. I thought it was Braxton Hicks so decided to go to bed. At 3 am, I woke up from the cramps and couldn’t get back to sleep. I was still thinking it was Braxton Hicks so I decided to walk around and see if it would go away. I searched on my phone and read a few articles about differentiating between real contractions and Braxton Hicks. As I was scuttling around the room, Jerry woke up and asked me what I was doing. I felt that that the cramps were coming at a frequent pace so decided to time the cramps. I was shocked when I realized they were coming every 3-5 minutes! Deep down I had a feeling things were happening but I was still in slight disbelief. I decided to call Matilda just in case and the midwife told me to come in. I was hoping we didn’t have to rush to the hospital at 3 am. We cosleep so Lex was sound asleep in our bed and I felt so sad to leave him like that and have him wake up in the morning confused and wondering where we have gone. If we did end up having the baby today this would mean 4-5 nights away from home and this was not the goodbye I had envisioned with Lex. We woke up our helper and finished packing up some final things into our hospital bag before rushing out the door.
On the ride to the hospital, I was starting to feel like I had to use the bathroom for #2 badly. I also started to feel very nauseas and wanted to throw up. With these symptoms I started to accept that fact that I was in fact in labor. We got to the hospital and they were ready for me and started the check in process. Due to the pandemic, we had to do a RAT and a PCR test to ensure I was negative. It was a bit nerve wrecking since I was pretty sure we were ok, but it was not 100% certain. For my scheduled c section, I was supposed to come in either the day before or hours before my admission to do the PCR test. Private hospitals do not accept patients that have covid and they have to deliver at public hospitals – so it was quite a tense time while we waited for the results. While we were waiting for the urgent PCR result, I went into a room (not in the maternity unit) and they started to monitor the baby’s heart rate and also the contractions. The midwife confirmed that they were indeed real contractions and not Braxton Hicks. I asked her whether this meant it was likely we would have the baby today and she said yes!
Waiting for the PCR results
Everything was on standby while we waited for the PCR result and they had not contacted Dr. Ghosh yet. I was a bit worried and asked whether they would transport me to the public hospital if I was positive, to my relief they said since I was already in labor they would not do that and would instead put me in a special isolation room. I was relieved to hear I would not be carted off and luckily my result was also negative! I had asked the midwife whether it was still possible to try vaginal birth and she said she would check with Dr. Ghosh. With the PCR result out of the way, they phoned Dr. Ghosh and I heard her tone on the phone suddenly change. The mood suddenly changed and the midwife rushed back in and asked me to use a surgical body wash on my lower abdomen. She says that Dr. Ghosh is concerned because I have had contractions for a long time but it has not progressed properly. We need to move as fast as possible or else the risk of complications will be high if the emergency c section is performed late into labor. We had to rush to the operation theatre for an emergency c section!
Jerry and I were caught off guard and did not expect things to escalate so quickly. Lots of other medical personnel were rushing in and out to check wristbands, take blood, and sign forms. The midwife was contacting other doctors such as the anesthesiologist, pediatrician, and nurses that needed to help out with the operation. The midwife who was with me from the beginning was incredibly sweet and chatty so she definitely made me feel better about the entire situation. I was personally feeling quite calm but it was quite a shock how quickly the pace picked up. I also trusted my doctor and this hospital fully so I knew I was in good hands. Dr. Ghosh came in and gave me a look of disbelief when I asked one last time about a possible VBAC.
Once we were in the operation theatre the anesthesiologist gave me a spinal block and soon I could not move or feel my legs. I really hated that feeling and kept trying to move my toes ala Kill Bill (if you know the scene where Uma Thurman just wakes up from her coma). It was a futile action but I was just curious whether I could do it, but it made me nauseous whenever I tried. The anesthesiologist was really funny and chatty, he played a fun music playlist where every song had the word “baby” in it. I was feeling quite nauseous with the anesthesia and the doctor gave me something to help with the nausea. It helped slightly but I was still feeling quite sickly. I remember not feeling great the first pregnancy but perhaps because I was already so drained, it did not affect me as much. I was more alert and in a normal state of mind for this delivery so the nausea from the anesthesia had a stronger negative affect on me.
At 7:41 our beautiful little boy Sebastian was born! He was crying super loud and was whisked off to be checked by the pediatrician. I was a bit surprised since with Lex he was instantly placed on my chest. I had requested skin to skin as soon as possible with both births so I felt a little impatient while waiting for Bas to be placed on me. It felt like an eternity and I kept looking around to see when they would be done inspecting Bas and I could finally meet my baby.. By the time they placed him on me he was already wrapped up but luckily we got lots of skin to skin back in our room later. He calmed down instantly once he was placed on me and it was such a beautiful and sweet moment. Jerry and Bas went to the nursery to have Bas cleaned and weighed while I was stitched back up. As expected, Bas was a big boy at 3.9 kg! The stitching part of the operation takes a while and I could not wait to get back to the room with Jerry and our new baby!
The birth was once again not what we expected at all but what was most important is that both me and Bas are doing well. I do sometimes wonder what it would be like to have a vaginal birth and I am slightly disappointed that I will never get to experience it. After two c sections all subsequent pregnancies will be c sections – but I am also at peace with how things turned out and I believe all births are beautiful and unique. I had always wanted to see how my physical endurance would play out with a vaginal birth but two emergency c sections also tested my strength in a different way. In many ways a c section was scarier for me than a vaginal birth, I hated the feeling of not being to feel or move my entire lower body and worried about the longer recovery time. Both births were also much more eventful than I expected but I remained calm and adjusted my mindset as things developed. While it was not what I had wanted initially, I will always look back on my births with pride and joy. I can’t believe that I am now the mother of two sweet little boys!
We did our quarantine back in Nov/Dec where the travel restriction was still 21 days quarantine. Luckily now it is back to 7 days but we hope that these tips will be helpful regardless!
Hong Kong has some of the strictest quarantine rules in the world and currently requires travelers from most countries to quarantine 21 days in a designated hotel. You will be tested upon arrival and will also be tested multiple times during your quarantine. It is hard to believe that the pandemic has been going on for almost 2 years and we have been battling the decision of whether to travel since the pandemic started. Jerry’s family is in Holland and while we used to go back every 2 months, we haven’t been able to in almost 2 years. Now that we have Lex, there are so many other considerations to think about while traveling, especially during a pandemic. After talking about it for months, we finally decided that there was no perfect time to go and made the decision to go back to Holland in October. The 21 day quarantine was a major factor in our hesitancy to travel, we initially felt that we couldn’t possibly put Lex through this and it would be detrimental to him. However, after reading many facebook reviews on the Quarantine Support Group (absolutely incredible resource and support network) and talking to some other moms, I became more comfortable with the idea and felt that perhaps it was not only doable, but could be slightly enjoyable. We just finished up our 21 days and I hope that I can share all my ideas and tips so that any other parents who is in the same position. Lex was 17 months when we did the quarantine.
We were very lucky and were able to book a hotel just a month beforehand. I did not know this before but quickly found out via the facebook group that hotel bookings are very difficult and the quarantine hotels get snatched up fast. We booked a serviced apartment called CM+ in Sheung Wan.
I knew that I wanted the quarantine with Lex to not only be passable but to be fun and engaging for him. I definitely went with the “more is more” route and bought A LOT of things in preparation for the quarantine. I wanted to have an assortment of toys and activities that were fun and educational. I did have a few toy cars as a special treat each week but did not want to only have flashy toys to entertain him. I got the majority of things from Amazon and also from various bookstores and toy stores.
I sorted my toys/activities into the below categories and listed some of the activities/toys we did with Lex:
Gross/fine motor
Felt story board: big felt board with lots of different animals and plants (we got the farm theme from Amazon). I would take each item out and tell Lex the name/or ask him what it is. Then he will stick them onto the board
Mega blocs: endless fun building and taking apart the blocs, I find that this works better than Lego Duplo at this age because they are bigger and easier to handle
Tunnel: lots of fun climbing in and out of it and playing hide and seek
Sensory
Play dough
Rainbow rice: my wonderful helper made it using this recipe and brought it over once we returned to HK. We bought a wooden sensory kit with different scoops and bowls from Amazon
Oatmeal
Plastic balls/ball pit
Water play: water in cups and assortment of spoons and scoops
Hand eye coordination
Suction animals
Busy boards: we got both cloth and wooden ones from Amazon. The cloth ones were fine but the wooden one’s were pretty low quality. I would recommend getting wooden ones from Etsy if time allows.
Window stickers: We got Melissa and Doug ones and they were a HUGE hit. We spent lots of time sticking them on the hotel windows.
Arts and crafts
Ziplock bag painting: check out how to do them here
Crayons
Crayola Water WOW coloring books
Others
Music time with sticks and egg shakers: this mimics the music activity Lex does in playgroup. I asked his teacher for a list of songs they usually do in class
Bubbles
Masking tape
Facetime with family
I would also highly recommend getting a messy play tray such as this one. This was SUPER useful and we continue to use it after quarantine.
I would have 1-2 activities each day mixed with regular activities and toys that are available every day such as reading time and his usual small pile of toys (toy cars, sensory block, puzzles). I tried to make sure I combine activities from each category each day. I initially had a super intense and detailed schedule planned out for every 1.5 hour of the day but I actually did not have to use it. I just mostly went with the flow and planned the activities on the day and depending on his interest level. I made sure to introduce the activities and toys in a strategic way so that there was something fresh and exciting each week. I also would rotate the activities so that Lex would not get bored. For example, I introduced the rainbow rice in the second week and if he was interested I would let him play with it for two days in a row, then I would put it back in the cabinet and not take it out for another 4-5 days.
This was my rough schedule of how to introduce the activities and toys (it does not include all the activities but gives you a general idea of how I planned things):
Week 3: felt story board, oatmeal sensory, suction animals, more toy cars
Books also played a major role in our quarantine. Luckily for us Lex LOVES reading time and we spent a lot of time reading his favorite books. We had packed a few books for the trip and our helper brought more books to us during the quarantine. We also had a few new books that I introduced periodically.
We were extremely lucky to have an awesome view for our quarantine hotel. We had the entire harbor view and were able to see boats, helicopters, cars, and even dogs at the dog park. It provided a lot of entertainment for Lex and he spent lots of time in the first 2 weeks looking outside. Unfortunately he did get a bit bored of the view by the third week but it was still amazing to have. The large windows also provided a great location for all the stickers and masking tape activities.
Adults need to have a nasal and swab test multiple times during the quarantine and children under 3 need to submit a stool sample. Luckily Lex was able to poop on almost all the designated days but he did miss on a few days. I called the DOH and they were very nice about it and said 1-2 days is nothing to worry about. The one thing you want to make sure you submit is the sample on day 19. You must make sure that you get the negative result or else you will not be released on day 21. Therefore, if you feel like your toddler won’t poo on the 19th you can consider submitting the sample from day 18 (the date will be noted on the form).
The first ten days actually flew by and I was enjoying our time in quarantine. It was very cozy and I was not actually missing being outside too much. However, once we reached the halfway point things started getting a bit tougher. It was hard to fathom that we another 10+ days to go and we were only halfway.
However, it is what it is and we just have to keep going at it! Here are some tips (both general and toddler specific)
General
Unpack straight away: Yes you are probably exhausted from the flight and the entire ordeal at the airport, but you will feel SO much better if your room is unpacked and everything is in the right place
Make the place cozier: We brought some items such as our favorite mugs from home to make the room feel more homey. I also saw on FB that people brought candles and other decorations
Make your bed every morning: It’s a small action but it sets you up for the rest of the day!
Clean up everyday: We had one of those small swiffer mops and I used it to clean up hair and dust everyday. We did not buy toilet cleaner but we did a basic clean for the bathroom every week. I would highly recommend getting a hotel room with hard floors over carpet.
Have a countdown calendar: We printed out a calendar and would put up a sticker at the end of each day. It is a great morale booster! We tried to have Lex put the sticker on but he would just run away with it each time haha
Accept offers from friends: We were super lucky to have many amazing friends and family who dropped off home cooked meals and care packages. They definitely brighten up our day and made the entire experience better. So if you are lucky enough to have a supportive network, don’t be shy and ask for help and accept treats!
TREAT YO’SELF: quarantine is HARD. This is the perfect time to be excessive and order that fried chicken that you’ve been craving for dinner or that croissant for breakfast. We tried to have home cooked meals every few days but we also fully took advantage of the fabulous variety of Deliveroo options in our area. On the weekends we would eat extra indulgently and say “it’s the weekend!”. Just because we were inside doesn’t mean we had to be boring. We also ordered cakes/treats at the end of each week to celebrate. We also ordered a giant funfetti party cake for our last day
Quarantine with toddler tips
Mat or carpet: our hotel had hard floors which I loved (no dirty hotel carpet thanks) but this made it extra important for me to find a big and fun carpet for Lex. I found an adorable road/car carpet and it was the perfect little play area for him
Long baths: everyday, my husband would take over and give Lex a 1 hour+ bubble bath. I had all his usual toys and also had some new toys for him. Our helper brought over his tub from home.
Drag out events if baby is having fun/in a good mood: I don’t mean to have everything drag on until they are completely bored, but don’t rush into each activity if they are in a good mood. For example, when we wake up we like to cuddle together and look at the view for a bit. Sometimes this can last over 30 minutes. During quarantine we have LOTS of hours together so every minute counts. There is no rush to jump into breakfast time or play time if things are going well right now.
Maximize tidy up time: apart from building good habits, tidy up time is a great way to extend the time. I always make Lex tidy up his toys before moving onto another activity. Sometimes I even put blocks together so it takes him longer to undo them and put it back in the bag. Sometimes I also sneakily throw some balls around so he has to pick them up (shhh)
Don’t be too uptight about screen time: we all try to minimize screen time but when you are on holiday or on quarantine, don’t give yourself too hard of a time. We all need a little break sometime and need to do what we need to survive quarantine! Some of the things we enjoyed were Peppa Pig and farm/tractor videos on Youtube
Lovely care packages from friends always cheered us up!
Gorgeous bouquet that my sneaky husband ordered for me!
Huge cake to celebrate finishing quarantine!
I hope that these tips will be helpful to other families who are traveling during these crazy times. Everyone’s circumstances are different but I can say that it was 100% the right decision for us to travel and the family time we had in Holland was worth all the hassle of travel and 21 days in quarantine. It is never an easy decision to make but we are so glad that we decided to go.
Jerry and I used to travel A LOT – like a crazy amount. We used to go to Holland every 2 months and then 3-4 trips a year for triathlon races and on top of that regular leisure trips. Things all froze once the pandemic hit and we also welcomed our dear baby Lex soon after. We obviously would not travel as much now that we have a baby but we were still very excited to take Lex on holidays. Unfortunately the pandemic lasted much longer than anyone expected and we still haven’t had a chance to travel anywhere with Lex (this staycation happened back in the summer and since then we HAVE traveled with Lex, but that will be for another post).
I have been wanting to do a staycation for some time but I always wasn’t sure if it would actually be a good idea. We had everything we needed at home and living in the south side often felt like a vacation anyways. We were also unsure of how Lex’s sleep schedule would be like in a hotel and worried that we would end up being more tired than usual if his schedule blew up. After toying with the idea for some time, Jerry surprised me by booking a staycation at the Grand Hyatt for the weekend! In the days leading up to it, I was SO excited. It really felt like we were going away on a trip.
Hotels in Hong Kong have been busting out deals to try and survive during the pandemic. We noticed that the lobby was very busy and there was a line to check in. It was nice to see that people were responding to the deals and hopefully the hotels are making some money. The room had an amazing view of the city and the harbourfront and Lex instantly climbed onto the window to check it out. He was so excited the whole time and kept running around the room to explore his new surroundings. Lex recently started walking so it was perfect timing to do a staycation because he could walk around on his own and we didn’t want him crawling on the floors.
The hotel was very thoughtful and prepared a lot of kid friendly items such as a welcome bag with a mask, a coupon for a snack, and also baby bathtub, shampoo, and slippers!
After relaxing in the room for a little, it was time for our afternoon tea. The sandwiches and sweets were so yummy! The afternoon tea also came with a buffet of waffles, crepes, ice cream, fruit, macarons, and chocolates. Lex had some insane amount of energy and I liked how there was space for him to walk around. There were also some beautiful live music playing and Lex was completely captivated. It was so sweet!
After the afternoon tea we filled the bathtub for Lex to take a bubble bath. We don’t have a bath tub in our home so Lex was loving it. After the bath it was time to start Lex’s bedtime routine around 7:30 pm. The building lights were flashing and he was getting so distracted so we ended up closing all the blinds. We bedshare so it was quite convenient for me to just nurse him to sleep on the bed and there was no need to set up a portable crib etc. It was a bit tricky though after he fell asleep because Jerry and I had to talk quietly and hang out in the dark. We decided to order some room service and enjoyed some alone time in the dark together. Lex did wake up randomly around 9:30 pm and didn’t want to go back to sleep until past 11 pm!
Overall the night was ok, the bed is a bit smaller than the bed we have at home so we were all a bit cramped but we made it! As always, Lex woke around 5:30-6 am and we decided to go to the Central Harbourfront for a walk. Jerry and I used to always run this path and it was exciting to see how much it has expanded. It was really well organized and there were lots of cute artwork and playful areas for children. It was nice to explore something new in our own city.
After our walk it was time for the breakfast buffet! Hotel breakfasts are my favorite and something I look forward to during our travels. The Grand Hyatt one did not disappoint with a large array of yummy foods. We definitely stuffed ourselves this trip! Lex went down for his first nap at 10 am nicely and it was time for me to get pampered! My lovely husband booked me a massage and it was a really great way to unwind and relax.
Jerry and I both realized how nice to was to just do something new and get away for a day. Even though we are unable to travel with Lex yet, it was so nice to have this new experience and he handled it like a champ! There are definitely more staycations in store for us!
Being a new parent is hard work! There is SO much to learn and you feel like you are pulled in all directions. The baby becomes the #1 priority and often times we forget to take care of ourselves and the marriage. Let’s be real, any second you get you want to either sleep in or just lay around, but it is so important to make the extra effort to connect with your partner and spend some quality time. This applies for parents at any stage of parenthood, not just new parents. As we know, babies go through all sorts of development leaps and sleep regressions and they always keep us on our toes! It’s important to make sure you take extra time and effort to ensure your marriage does not suffer and you don’t want to chew up your partner.
Jerry and I have a wonderful relationship and I adore him to bits, but I would be lying if I said that the first few months were totally smooth and easy! Did I love seeing my husband become a father and my heart melted when I saw him with Lex? 100% yes. Did I want to sometimes strangle him? Also yes. We definitely noticed that we were short with each other more often and acting grumpy. It is completely understandable… you are figuring out newborn care (and continue to figure out child care month after month, it never stops) and you are functioning with very little sleep. For us mamas, we are also experiencing some raging hormones and recovering from childbirth (and maybe breastfeeding too!). It is normal to be more grumpy and irritable. However, it is so important to recognize that this is a sensitive and difficult period and to proactively do things to make sure you are looking out for your partner and your marriage. Your baby is incredibly important, but a strong partnership in your marriage is also essential and is the foundation of the family. Don’t ever forget that!
Here are some tips that I found very helpful:
Checking in often: it may just be a small text or a quick word, but it makes a huge difference because your partner will feel like you care and you will also be more in tuned to how each other is doing (and what to do to fix/improve things). Simple questions like “how are you feeling today?” or “how is the day going” are enough!
Open communication: the worst thing is to bottle up your feelings and let it build up. Even if it’s your husband or wife, they might know you well but they can’t read your mind ALL the time. Jerry and I make sure to speak up once something rubs us the wrong way or if we notice that we are feeling extra irritable. We are completely honest with each other and we always talk things out. Even if it feels petty, it never hurts to let them know. Sometimes I will recognize that I am being unreasonable but would still like him to know that his action is bothering me, for example: “I know I am being extra sensitive and it is probably just me, but you are really rubbing me the wrong way today etc.”
Recognizing each other’s efforts + saying thank you: when you are feeling tired and discouraged, it always feels nice to hear that someone is acknowledging your efforts and that you’re doing a good job. Make that extra effort to thank or praise your spouse, it will make them feel good!
Find time for each other: it does not have to be an entire outing or a grand experience, but just finding some small pockets of time throughout the day to show affection and connection. Jerry and I make sure we have some time together when Lex is napping. Sometimes it is just a short cuddle on the couch or a 3 second hug in the kitchen, it is an instant mood lifter.
Affection and intimacy: intimacy could be the last thing on your mind post baby but even a long hug or a nice kiss could make a world of difference. Sometimes we are so rushed and stressed, you forget to show your partner some love.
Look back on you as a couple before kids: Jerry recently spent some time looking at old photo books and videos of our trips and we both loved reminiscing on all the fun we had. We absolutely adore our time as a family now with Lex but it is really lovely to look back on our more carefree days when we traveled a lot and did a lot of races together! Sometimes it can feel like you’e overwhelmed by parenthood and you aren’t the same person as before, so it is refreshing to remind yourself of who you and your spouse were before kids (and you can definitely apply those things to your family life too! Life does not end after kids).
Date nights: this can be tough with busy work schedules and child care but even just once a month or every other week is a great start. Sometimes you feel like its too much effort but I can promise you you will never regret a date night. Jerry and I try to do a date night every other week and take turns organizing. We always have an amazing time and love the solo time to reconnect and enjoy each other’s company.
I hope that these ideas will be helpful and make the parenting experience even more enjoyable. It can be tough, but you and your partner are a team and will come out stronger than before!
I was so excited to plan Lex’s birthday party and wanted to share all the little ideas and touches that I thought made it more special and meaningful to us. Unfortunately the pandemic is still happening so options were pretty limited, however, we just wanted something intimate anyways so it was not a huge problem. We were initially hoping to have the party in the function room of our building complex but annoyingly it was not open yet. We ultimately decided to have it at our home and while it was a little cozy stuffing over 20 friends and babies in our living room, it all worked out well and we (and I hope Lex) had a blast!
Jerry and I try to be environmentally conscious in our day to day life so I wanted to make sure that we tried our best to be less wasteful with the decorations and other party props. I was super lucky that my bestie Clara was super helpful and helped me order a few things on TaoBao. I picked some banners that can be reused for the next year and also tried to minimize the use of balloons. There are a few things that I don’t think I can reuse and I plan to give them away to other moms so they can use it for their baby’s birthday party. I also found a group on Facebook that party decoration swapping! I also bought some compostable plates. While I know they are not perfect, it was just too much work to use our own plates so I felt like that was a compromise I was ok with. I also purchased flowers from the local flower shop in Stanley and arranged them in old food glass jars that we had in the house. It was so much fun to do and made the table setting look super cute!
For food, I did a mix of homemade and ordering from bakeries. I wanted to support a lovely business called The Good Cake. It is a small woman owned business that donates a portion of its earnings to buy rice of elderly living in poverty. I have purchased items from them multiple times before and they are always delicious and beautiful. It feels good to support a meaningful small business and the owner Karen is also lovely! I was also lucky that my friends Clara and Christine brought some delicious homemade goodies such as brownies and quiche.
I was initially planning to order a cake but our usual baker was out of town. I was tempted to use cake mix to bake a cake (I actually love cake mix!) but decided to try making my own cake from scratch. I have never used proper tools like a cake scraper and a turntable before so I was definitely taking a risk. Luckily the cake came out SO well and I was super happy with it. Karen from The Good Cake also provided some lovely plastic animals for me to use as cake toppers.
For goodie bags, I wanted to also support some local businesses. I ordered some wooden toys (to kind of fit the woodland theme and also because we generally prefer wood over plastic) and also bought some linen drawstring bags from Stanley market with each baby guests’ initial. Small shops have been suffering greatly due to the lack of tourists during the pandemic and I wanted to do my part to support them a little.
Overall it was such a lovely and intimate celebration and I was so happy that we are still able to have a celebration during the pandemic. It is so crazy to think that over a year ago we also had to do a small gathering at home for my baby shower and after so many months it is the same situation for Lex’s birthday party. However, we are already so lucky to be able to celebrate and of course to have our good health. I am grateful everyday for the life that we have and I am excited for more happy celebrations for our little boy.
This quote could not be more true as I look back on this amazing year. It is hard to believe that it has been 365 days since Lex came into the world. I still remember going to the hospital because my water broke early and the grueling 36 hours before finally having to do an emergency c section. It feels just like yesterday when we left the comfort (and 24 hour support of the midwives) of the hospital and brought Lex home, we were filled with excitement and nerves… it was the beginning of our new life as a family. Looking back at photos, it is hard to imagine my bubbly and energetic boy as this tiny and fragile little bean. The most bittersweet thing of being a mother is trying to desperately freeze and memorize every little moment, yet the days seem to fly by and sometimes you can’t even remember what happened the day before. I am so excited to see Lex grow and to see his personality shine through, yet my heart aches when I notice how clothes that were loose just a week before, are now starting to be too tight. The baby face is starting to have glimmers of a little boy, and soon the babbling will turn into words.
Some days are so tough – with a total lack of sleep and a fussy and grumpy baby that seem impossible to appease, yet motherhood is easily one of the most fulfilling and incredible experiences I have ever been through. The learning curve is brutal – I was also not prepared for all the major changes and how parenthood is such a non-linear experience. Once we felt like we had gotten something, things would change again! It wasn’t always easy for us, there were days where we felt grumpy and exhausted. However, through it all, we have learnt so much together, leaned on each other, and gotten out stronger and more united than ever. I look back on this year and am so proud of everything we have learnt and accomplished together. Witnessing Jerry’s journey as a father has also been incredibly heartwarming. I knew he would be the most incredible dad and he met and exceeded all my expectations.
Before becoming a parent, I had no idea about all the milestones and other incredible things that babies learn in their first year of life. It has been so eyeopening to see Lex develop and explore the world around him. Watching him sleep for most of the day and making the tiniest little sounds, to rolling, crawling, and breaking into the most adorable smile and giggles that melt my entire heart. I was not expecting how much I would enjoy watching him develop and figure things out. It is so fascinating to me to see how he starts to understand and mimic certain actions. He would interact with toys and with us in a totally different way and it is so satisfying to see. I have had so many excited and proud parent moments! Watching him is also a daily reminder for us adults to appreciate and enjoy little things that we may have forgotten about, the wonder and excitement of a child is truly inspiring and I hope to stop and admire things around me more.
I was also not prepared for the overwhelming emotions that came with motherhood. I always knew that I wanted to be a mother and that I would love my family, but to experience this love and connection in real life was a different story. I often hear of mother’s talking about how it is a love you have never experienced before, and I jokingly felt like the husband now became chopped liver, but I know understood what they meant. Of course I love my husband to bits, but the tender love you feel for your child is something that cannot be explained. There are times when I look down at Lex while he’s nursing or after he has just fallen asleep, his chest rising gently and his soft cheek against me, and it feels like my heart will explode. I look at Lex and I think of all the things I want to do in this world to help him flourish and grow. I wonder at the end of each day whether I loved him enough and whether he knows how much he is loved.
I definitely think motherhood made me a better person. It makes me think of how I want to be as a role model to Lex and what values I want to pass down to him. It has made me a more thoughtful and empathetic person. Motherhood also made me realize how strong I was and how much I was willing to sacrifice and do for Lex. I have always been a confident person who believed in my abilities, but I was quite apprehensive about the lack of sleep. I had expected the bad sleep to last for around 3 months (oh so naive) but it has been over 1 year since I slept uninterrupted for more than 6 hours and I am still trucking along. Parenting with Jerry also made us learn more about each other and made our bond stronger. It was not always easy, especially in the beginning when we had very little help, but it made us figure out how to work through difficult times and support each other.
Even though it has been a whole year already, sometimes it still feels a bit unreal that I am a mother. I look at Lex and I think about how I grew and nurtured him in my body for 9 months, how he was brought into the world, and how he is now this energetic little boy. Sometimes Jerry and I will look at Lex and say “we made him!”. It is such an honor that I am tasked with raising and guiding this little human. What a wonderful thing it is, to meet your soulmate and have the opportunity to create another living being and create a family. Being a mother is one of the greatest blessings of my life. It has far surpassed anything I could have ever imagined and I feel lucky everyday to be able to experience this crazy rollercoaster ride.
Cooking for my loved ones is one of my favorite things to do, so I was super excited to introduce solids to Lex. Solids can be introduced to babies from 4 months but most start around 6 months. As always this is an account of my own personal experience and should never be taken as professional medical or nutritional advice. Do your own research to figure out what is best for your family.
Sitting up (some resources say unsupported, some say with some support such as towels. We did not do baby led weaning until he was sitting up fully unsupported but we did offer him some puree when he could sit up supported)
Can hold up head/neck strength
Loss of tongue thrust instinct
Fascination with food/meal time
Lex was able to sit up supported with some towels around 5 months and also showed A LOT of interest in our food. We spoke to our pediatrician and she said that we can start him out on some rice cereal while he sits in his baby bouncer. I did a little bit of research and felt that rice cereal was not actually that nutritious, so we decided to try some mashed up banana as his first food. We spoon fed him a little bit of the puree but quickly found out that he still had his tongue thrust reflex where he was pushing everything out with his tongue. We decided to wait a little bit and try again later.
At 5.5 months, we decided to give it a go again! He no longer had this tongue thrust reflex so we decided to start off with some single ingredient purees. We did not feel comfortable starting BLW (baby led weaning) yet because he was still unable to sit unsupported. It is important that he can do that for BLW so that he does not choke. We wanted to start off with single ingredient foods so that we can make sure he was not allergic to anything. We do not have any family history of food allergies but if you do, you should speak to your doctor before introducing top allergens such as nuts or dairy. Don’t introduce a bunch of new things at once or else it will be difficult for you to isolate which ingredient is the issue. When we introduced peanut butter (OUR FAVORITE) for the first time, we thinned it out into yogurt or oatmeal cereal and watched him carefully. If nothing happened for a few minutes, we gave him more. It is beneficial to introduce top allergens before 12 months and to do it consistently! Apart from peanut butter, I also purchased a 7 nut mix that I add to Lex’s breakfast consistently. He also had no issues with dairy or seafood, etc. Lex was not that keen on being spoon fed and would always grab the spoon and feed himself. It was a mess but it was so cute watching him discover new flavors and his dexterity in holding the spoon.
At 6 months, Lex could sit up properly without support so it was time to BLW! Baby led weaning is a method of feeding where you mostly skip spoon fed purees and offer your baby finger foods that they can grab and feed themselves. Some strict BLW followers say you need to skip purees all together but others argue that purees can also be offered on a preloaded spoon for babies to feed themselves with. Baby led weaning boasts a lot of benefits, including allowing the baby to self regulate their feeding, improving hand eye coordination, better relationship with food/more adventurous palate, and convenience for parents also! I purchased two books that I found very helpful. One is Baby Led Feeding by Jenna Helwig and the other is Simple and Safe Baby Led Weaning by Malina Malkani. Baby Led Feeding provides LOTS of amazing recipes while Simple and Safe Baby Led weaning gives you great basic information like how to serve single ingredient items safely. Both were helpful in different ways. As I started to move on from single ingredient items, I used the Baby Led Feeding book much more. The instagram account of “Infant Nutritionist” also played a vital role in my research for BLW. I would urge all parents who plan to BLW to read up on it and check out all the different resources out there.
However, like all things, this might not be the right choice for every family so do your research and see what works for you. I loved the idea of BLW but also felt that Lex wasn’t actually ingesting a lot of the food. He loved exploring the foods but not a lot was actually swallowed. I loved that it allowed him to explore at his own pace and the intake of food is not the only reason we eat, but it was also important for me for him to get his needed nutrition and caloric intake. Therefore we decided to go for a mixed approach. Breakfast would be mostly BLW with some spoon fed items and lunch was spoon fed puree. I realized that what was most important to me was responsive feeding – which is also in line with how I breastfed Lex! I wanted to respect him and look to him for his hunger cues, and not feed him according to what made sense to me. With responsive feeding, you don’t try to coax or force your baby to have “just one more bite”, if they are full and turn away from the food or are disinterested, we clean them up and end the meal session!
Of course, starting solids, especially with BLW, can get MESSY! It is quite cute to see food all over Lex’s face but it can also be quite a lot of work during the clean up. It definitely does help to have a dog when you are starting solids with a baby. Mister is always hovering around like a shark when Lex is eating and vacuuming up any bits that fall to the ground. I also HATE wasting food and I feel much better knowing that Mister can gobble up the leftovers (obviously making sure that he can eat the ingredients.
I was really happy with our mixed approach because Lex was able to practice BLW and also get his adequate nutritional intake. He was ravenous for the purees and we definitely saw him plumb up a bit after starting the mixed feeding approach. It is also important to note that you should have a neutral or positive attitude when introducing solids, don’t be upset if your baby rejects certain foods. Some meals are a huge hit while others are not! If your baby does not like a certain food, don’t try to force it and introduce it another time.
We try to keep his diet quite varied but one thing you need to pay attention to is iron. In the books and resources I read, it is said that babies have an iron reserve when they are born but that will run out around 6 months. While breastmilk is the perfect nutrition, it does not contain iron so babies will need to get it from iron rich foods such as red meat.
One important to look out for is to understand the difference between gagging and choking. Gagging is a normal protective reflex for babies and while it is scary, try to remain calm when it happens. This is a helpful page on noticing the difference and what to do! I would also recommend taking a pediatric first aid course to make sure you know what to do in emergencies. Jerry and I took one and we feel more secure after doing so. Another thing to read up on are certain foods that babies should NOT have. The #1 thing is honey because of the risk of botulism but apart from that babies can have most things, but do make sure you know about choking hazards such as grapes, hard apple bits, and sticky foods (that’s why it’s important to thin out nut butters). The things I listed are not exhaustive so make sure you do your due diligence.
In the beginning, we started out with 1 meal at day (breakfast) and we added lunch around 7 months. By 8 months Lex was having 3 meals a day! Even for someone who loves to cook, moving from 2 meals to 3 meals did require some planning. I decided to have dinner be BLW style also and Lex can eat our food with some adjustments. We also offer him water with an open cup after each meal because sippy cups are actually not the best for feeding development.
Essentially, this is the breakdown of Lex’s meals.
Breakfast is usually a combination of: BLW fruit (favorites include strawberries, golden kiwi, papaya, blackberries, oranges) + spoon fed or BLW oatmeal cereal/toast with pb/nut butter/avo + yogurt (mixed with chia and flax seeds, sometimes mashed fruit) and sometimes eggs(plain scrambled, with cheese, omelette). We also do banana pancakes and Taiwanese egg rolls!
Lunch: purees (usually a meat with a bunch of veggies and a grain (there has been a recent concern about arsenic in rice so I try to do a variety including rice, oatmeal quinoa, millet, polenta, amaranth, etc.) Around 9 months Lex started preferring a chunkier puree and by 11 months he was mostly off purees and ate modified “adult” meals.
Dinner: BLW of adjusted food that we eat (unsalted meats and veggies) and usually an extra carb for Lex as we usually eat less carbs for our dinner.
Around 8 months, I also started to bake him baby friendly muffins as a snacks. These are usually sweetened with fruits such as banana and dates and don’t contain salt. I also try to add extra fruit and veggies in there! These recipes will be posted on the website!
Around 10 months, I noticed that Lex got dramatically pickier! I read that it is common around this age because they want to exert control. We initially tried to mix things he liked (like yogurt) into meals but I stopped doing that because it was not a good habit to form. I reminded myself that I needed to be neutral and to just keep offering different foods. It definitely can be difficult when he rejects everything sometimes but I just had to stay on course and keep offering a variety of foods. He can definitely be a bit of a diva and turning away dramatically from the food, spitting things out, and even hitting away my hand! Sometimes if he ignored a food item, I will try to save it for the next day and make another dish out of it. Baby’s preferences and mood change all the time so I continued to offer him different things and just got used to the volatility. Sometimes he would scream at the food and sometimes he would gobble it up! It’s all a learning process (for him and me!).
When we eat out, I give Lex some of the items that Jerry and I are eating and sometimes order a little extra something for him. For example, when we ate out at a Thai restaurant, I ordered him some Hainan chicken rice. He loved the rice and I also broke off some small pieces of chicken for him. Other things I’ve given him while eating out were unseasoned fried rice from the kid’s menu and toast strips and chili. Lex also tried some spicy fried rice and loved it! If we are going to a place that does not seem like it will have baby friendly food, we will bring organic baby food pouches (we love the Ella’s kitchen brand). I try to bring things that don’t have too much sugar (more veggie blends over fruits) and also make sure it does not contain any preservatives. I love having Lex join us for meals and it does not need to be a stressful thing at all!
There are mix opinions about whether you should nurse before or after meals. My pediatrician said after while many sources online says before! I don’t really have a rule about it, if Lex is hungry before the meal I will nurse him but if he isn’t trying to nurse I will offer him the solid food meal first. It doesn’t seem to affect his intake of food so I feel ok continuing. You can chat with your pediatrician and also see whether your baby’s behavior is different whether you offer milk before or after meals. However, a baby’s reaction to different foods can be so random so it could be difficult to pinpoint!
In terms of organic vs not organic… we do make an effort to buy organic ingredients for him but its not all or nothing. Organic products are more limited and it would be too stressful and restrictive to do ALL organic. I make a lot of effort to buy high quality and sustainable/wild catch meats and seafood for us as a family so that works out well for Lex’s food also. I also found a great online grocer who has small 100 grams of packaged proteins specifically for babies. This is particularly useful for when I am making purees for him, however, you can easily just cut off some of the meats you use for your own dinner.
Babies are not supposed to have much salt at all and refined sugars are also not great for them. We try to minimize giving Lex those things but we are also not super intense attitude about it. When I am cooking at home, I hardly ever add salt or sugar into his food, I also shy away from pre-made sauces. I noticed that we as a family ate less salted food ever since I started cooking for Lex. However, similar to our own diet, we try to have a balanced approach with feeding him and we let him have “unhealthy” things like fries and ice cream once in a while! Eating nutritious food is important, but food should also be an enjoyment!
Here is a list of products that I use for starting solids
Stokke Steps high chair (the chair is beautiful and provides good support but I think the tray table is a bit silly because you can’t wash it under water and there are some difficult to clean crevices)
You can also check out many of Lex’s meals in my Instagram under the highlight “Lex’s food”!
Introducing solids has been such a joy! Enjoying delicious food and eating together are important things to our family and I am so happy to see that Lex is such a great little eater (sometimes!). He has tried so many different things and I look forward to many happy family meals together.
Changing diapers is not everyone’s favorite part of parenthood, but it is something that has to be done. If you follow me on Instagram, you may have seen my stories about my excitement to use cloth diapers. I first heard about cloth diapers on social media and was instantly interested. I found out that babies use around 2,500-3,000 diapers in their first year and it is estimated that diapers take around 500 years to decompose! That is a lot of poopy diapers in the landfill! I was pretty disturbed by this statistic, so I was eager to look into reusable cloth diapers. I was overeager and bought a lot of different sizes and brands to try, including Grovia, Thirties, and Charlie Banana.
Fast forward to when we finally had Lex in our arms. We learnt how to change nappies at the hospital and got used to using the Huggies brand. We decided to buy a few packs to use at home since we were familiar with them. The first few weeks were chaotic and super busy so we wanted to use things that we were comfortable with. We decided to start cloth diapering once we felt a bit more secure and confident with newborn care. Once we had more of a routine and were quite the experts with disposable diapers, I was super excited to finally give the cloth diapering a go!
Unfortunately, cloth diapering did not go as smoothly as I had hoped! Essentially, we were experiencing a lot of leaks. I had heard that cloth diapering was harder for newborns since they are so small and funny shaped, but I had bought the newborn sizes and was hoping it would fit ok. Lex has a tiny waist and chunky thighs, a difficult combination when it comes to fit. If the waistband was tight enough, the leg gussets were much too tight. If the leg gussets fit well, the waist was too loose. We kept experiencing leaks from either the waist or the leg. Once it leaked, it meant we had to wash the swaddle and the waterproof pad underneath… as if we did not already have a lot to wash!
I was quite bummed by this and reached out to the cloth diaper shop staff. They were incredibly helpful and sent me lots of tips and fitting videos. However, even after consulting the experts and going over the videos, the leaks were still happening. Jerry is the one in charge of diapering and laundry and it was difficult for me to keep forcing him to try cloth diapers when they weren’t working well.
We decided to retire the newborn cloth diapers for a bit and to try it again when Lex would be a bit bigger. However, upon further investigation it seems like there is a big debate (another article here) on whether cloth diapering is actually better for the environment as compared to disposables. I was surprised and was pretty annoyed at myself for not doing my due diligence earlier. Our whole reason for using cloth diapers was to be eco-friendly and now I found out that they are just as bad – if not more than using disposables. This not always the case if you are able to launder them efficiently, but with Hong Kong’s humidity, we had to use the dryer for each wash and that uses up a lot of energy. We also had to do cloth diaper laundry either every day or at the very least every other day. Many people use cloth diapers for other reasons such as cost saving but since that was not our main reason, it did not make sense to put in all the extra effort in laundry when it did not result in a greener choice.
I was pretty bummed out that cloth diapering did not work out and was still hoping that it would somehow work, but after consulting with Jerry, he said that he was over the idea and that we should let someone else enjoy cloth diapering. I ended up selling all the cloth diapers at a huge discount via FB and was happy that other people are able to use the products! We also make an effort in many other areas of our lifestyle to be eco conscious so I will focus my attention on what works for us! In terms of diapering wipes, we still do a mix of disposables and cloth wipes (which can easily be tossed in the wash with other baby items).
I certainly don’t want my experience to discourage others who want to try cloth diapering (especially if you are able to launder them without a dryer), but I just want to be completely honest regarding our personal experience. Next time I must remember to do my research properly and also not commit the amateur mistake of buying too many baby things at one go!
It has taken forever to get this post out (let’s be real, it’s been much harder to get any post out since having Lex!). How do you record down the 3 months after one of the most monumental moments of your life?
Have you heard of the fourth trimester? It is the 12 week period after giving birth and it is full of changes for both the mother and the baby! We had an amazing time at Matilda, but that honeymoon period had to end some time. We were lucky to have spent a whole week there, where we were supported and guided by the most amazing midwives. Once we got home, we were on our own! The first week was rough. Jerry and I had been enjoying uninterrupted 8-9 hours of sleep every night for quite some time and having a newborn thrown in was a shock to the system. We also did not know what was bothering him and how to soothe him in the beginning. I had to feed Lex every 3 hours and sometimes after his feed he would be fussy or just wide awake for another 2 hours… just in time for the next feed! I did not know what type of soothing he preferred and I would spend hours rocking and patting him. In the beginning I also took it upon myself to try and do it all. I wanted to feed him and get him back to sleep without waking up Jerry. I realized this was not smart and that I should ask for help when I needed it. There have been a few times where Jerry woke up to me crying in desperation at 3 am after being up for hours. Now I will wake him up if I cannot console Lex and Jerry will take him out to the living room for a stroll. At the end of the first week you sometimes wonder how you’re going to make it for another week, but it definitely gets easier! You start to understand what may be bothering him (hungry, temperature, nappy, etc.) and what type of soothing technique works for him (more about his sleeping in another post!).
Everything we learnt at Matilda was still quite new to us and at first we were quite slow at changing diapers (especially when he was tossing around!) and we would be quite nervous when giving Lex a bath, but we noticed that we got better and more comfortable at these tasks quickly. At first it was so difficult to get the diaper on a wriggling baby but now we can change him in a flash! We still get peed on once in a while (hello boy parents) but we are much better at covering up him to prevent that. Initially we were also a bit clumsy and overly careful when picking Lex up, but as time went on we became much smoother and would scoop him up with ease (obviously still safely, but you realize babies aren’t AS delicate as you think).
We were also quite paranoid with germs for the first month (especially with Covid around) and washed our hands and sanitized nonstop. My hands were getting so dry! After the first 1-2 months we became a little more relaxed but we were still diligent about hygiene.
In the beginning, Lex slept A LOT. Soon he was waking up more often and we had to learn how to interact and engage with him. It feels a little weird to read books to a newborn but it has been shown to be very beneficial to their development. We tried to read to him everyday and also showed him high contrast images. We also started tummy time quite early (his first week) and we love watching Lex get stronger and stronger. At first he was hardly able to lift his head and now he does it with ease. Before becoming parents, I did not know much at all about all the amazing developments that babies go through in the first few months. It is fascinating to watch Lex grow and gain the ability to follow an object with his gaze, reach for items, and recognize voices. Lex also rolled over at 2.5 months and has been a little trouble maker ever since! Please remember that babies develop at their own pace, so don’t worry if they don’t hit the “milestones” at exactly the proposed time. However, do check in with your healthcare provider if you feel like something is amiss.
Luckily, breastfeeding has been going super well (will have a separate post on my breastfeeding journey) and Lex is gaining weight at an extremely healthy rate. He is generally not a fussy baby but can act quite crazy during growth spurts. It is definitely helpful to chat with other moms and to read up on developmental/growth spurts so that you have some understanding of what is happening (and also to not feel alone!). Every baby is different and the guidelines are not 100% accurate, but it does give you some peace of mind as well that what your baby is doing is normal.
In terms of my own recovery, I was really lucky to have a smooth c-section recovery. I started working out again around 4 weeks and feel basically back to normal (in terms of birth recovery… NOT fitness). I got used to the interrupted sleep and also feel quite comfortable with newborn care. It took Jerry a little bit more time to get used to the lack of sleep, but he is now such a trooper – he is ready to jump into action to help at night. I know that I will continually be learning and things will change, but these first 3 months have been chock full of new experiences! It wasn’t easy, but I loved learning and practicing with Jerry, I felt like we were fully in this parenthood journey together. Things may seem a bit overwhelming at first, but remember that you are the best parent for your baby and you’re doing amazing! Don’t doubt yourself, but remember to ask for help if you need it. It’s a huge adventure being new parents and there are good and bad days, but we felt more confident and fulfilled as time went on. We are now 6 months into the parenthood game and we realized that there are new things to learn at every turn, but I have also been surprised by how adaptable and resilient we are as parents. You got this!
Stephanie Lau 