Author: laubaby

Safe sleep practices and our set up for Lex

Family, Motherhood

This is a very important topic and something I knew very little about before I got pregnant! SIDS is every parent’s worst nightmare and safe sleep practices are extremely important in reducing SIDS. I understand that things are not always black and white and sometimes it is difficult to do things exactly as recommended, but I really hope that this post will be a good resource by gathering information from reliable sources, so that you can make an informed decision in creating a safe sleep environment for your baby. As always, seek the advice of your doctor and also do your own research to make the best decision for your family.

The guidelines for safe sleep

There are a number of reliable and evidence-backed resources out there regarding safe sleep, but there also a lot of confusing products out there that aren’t as safe as they claim to be. Here is a page on the updated safe sleep for infant recommendations from the American Academy of Pediatricians and an article from the CDC.

safe sleep

Infographic from the CDC

The recommended guidelines for safe sleep are:

  • Babies should always be placed on their back on a firm mattress with a tightly fitted sheet.
  • Avoid the use of soft bedding and keep items such as stuffed toys, bumpers, pillows, and blankets out of the crib. Essentially: KEEP THE CRIB BARE. 
  • Share a bedroom with parents (the safest is the same room, but not the same sleep surface) for at least 6 months.
  • Do not use commercial monitors and products such as sleep positioners or monitors marketed to reduce SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome).

Similar guidelines are published by the Hong Kong Department of Health, the NHS (UK), the European Foundation for the Care of Newborn Infants and the European Committee of Standardization.

The last point above is particularly important, because there are a lot of products out there that are marketed to trick parents into thinking it will reduce SIDS. I have touched on this briefly before regarding sleep positioners. These products claim to keep your baby in a safe and comfortable position, but actually increase the risk of suffocation. The FDA has issued a warning regarding sleep positioners and baby nests. The safe sleep guidelines from the NHS posted earlier also specifically warn against the use of baby nests. Baby monitors that keep track of the baby’s vitals (while many do not outrightly claim to reduce SIDS) may also give parents a false sense of security.

Nests and pods have been extremely popular and I see them everywhere. They claim to make your baby sleep better by creating a secure and protective feeling. One of them is the Dock A Tot and it may seem like a great place for your infant to sleep, but it should only be used when supervised and it is an unsafe sleeping device. The company itself has issued guidelines stating that the Dock a Tot is NOT a to be used as a sleeping device, yet many parents still use it in an unsafe manner. Another popular sleep pod is the Sleepyhead. The website itself claims that it is safe for use as a sleeping device and can be placed in cribs due to the product adhering to British Standards for breathability. However, since doing so still goes against the safe sleep recommendation of letting a baby sleep on a firm and bare mattress, I would still be cautious when using it as a sleeping device (overnight). This of course does not mean it is a bad product. I actually used a Sleepyhead and it was absolutely perfect for supervised naps and lounging! I also know that many babies sleep much better in the pods as compared to a large crib, so I can understand why parents may want to use them as they don’t know they are unsafe sleep devices.

The Lullaby Trust (backed by Public Health England) has also issued a safety warning against baby sleep nests or pods. The Department of Health of Canada has also issued a safety warning for baby nests and pods. Give this article a read if you want to learn more about sleep positioners and nests/pods. The Lullaby Trust is an UK organization made up of pediatricians and academics with expertise in infant sleep and SIDS.

Ultimately, I think the take home message is to keep the crib as bare as possible. It may look very plain and you’re tempted to add some pillows or toys, fluffy blankets, or products that claims to be beneficial, but don’t do it!

There are a lot of different products out there and it can get confusing for new parents, but it is so important for us to do our homework and look up whether they are actually safe or not. Many products may also claim that their products are safe, but actually lack evidence or official safety certifications to back up that claim.

I do want to add that these are also general guidelines and as much as we should try to follow them, do discuss with your doctor (who is up to date with your child’s individual development and health) to discuss options. Here are some exceptions that I discussed with my healthcare provider:

    • Blankets: I had read that blankets were considered unsafe until 12 months, but I noticed that blankets were used in the hospital where I gave birth. I checked with the midwives and two different pediatricians and they said that light blankets were fine to use as long as they are tucked in at the end of the bed and the infant’s feet are at the bottom end of the bed.
    • Stuffed toy or lovey in bed with baby: The guidelines say that the crib should be bare but at 4 months our pediatrician recommended that we place a lovey or toy in bed with Lex so that he would feel more secure when he wakes up. He is quite a robust baby and we all felt comfortable that he would be able to push it aside if it was bothering him.
    • Co-sleeping: Room sharing (but with the baby sleeping on a different sleep surface) is what is recommended and I personally had always felt a bit uneasy having a tiny baby in the bed with us. However, upon further research and my own real life experience, I have a new perspective about co-sleeping. I also spoke to my doctor about this and will share more in a separate post!

Our sleeping set up for Lex 

In accordance with the guideline of having the baby share our room (and since we will not be hiring a confinement nanny or a full time helper), Lex will sleep in our room in a bassinet for the first 6 months. His bassinet is next to my bedside, so it will be easier for me to check on him and also for night feedings. The bassinet that we chose is the Tutto Bambini Cozee (for purchase in HK). I like it because it has a flat firm mattress and also mesh sides for ventilation. The Chicco Next2Me series was also considered and has similar qualities, but I ultimately went for the Tutto Bambini because the Chicco one felt a little flimsy.

The plan is that we we will move him to his own nursery at 6 months where we have a Baby Letto crib (for purchase in HK). We actually did not pay attention to the quality of wood and painting technique when we first looked into cribs and only realized that it was actually something that was important later on. We had already picked the Baby Letto crib and realized after purchasing it that it is GREENGUARD certified, which means that it is screened for over 10,000 chemicals and VOCs. The crib is also made using a non-toxic painting technique (great since Lex loves to slobber and gnaw on everything) and the crib is made with one of the most sustainable types of woods on earth (an extra plus!). We also purchased a Baby Letto non-toxic mattress with a waterproof cover for the crib. We wanted to get the same branded mattress to ensure that it fits (although most standard crib measurements should work). It also seemed like a brand that can be trusted.

We use 100% cotton/organic cotton sheets or bamboo sheets for the bedding and we got sheets that fit the mattress perfectly to ensure a tight fit. The crib will be bare and will not have any pillows, sleep positioners, bumpers, or large stuffed toys. We swaddled Lex until he was able to roll over. We also used a light blanket tucked into the bassinet but switched to sleep sacks around 4 months and removed the blanket. We have the room at 20-22 Celsius (this is an article on the best temperature for infant sleep…. I don’t think I can handle 16 Celsius!). I also periodically check his neck to make sure he is not too hot or cold.

For napping, we used a SleepyHead with Lex that was kindly lent to us by a friend. It is true that it is much more snug and he sleeps better in it as compared to the large crib during his naps, so I can understand the appeal of using this product, but I do not use it for overnight sleeping.

If you read everything… thank you!! If you didn’t, I still hope that this was useful in helping you make more informed decisions about how to create a safe sleeping environment for your infant. Apart from just doing the research, also check periodically to make sure you are updated with the latest guidelines and product recalls. Sleep with a baby is not always easy, but I am sure that with time and effort we will all find the solution that works best for our family!

Mister and Lex!

Family, Motherhood

As many of you know, we adopted our rescue dog Mister 2 years ago during the super typhoon Mangkhut. When we found out we were pregnant, we were so excited to see whether Mister would notice and how he would react. As expectedly, Mister the goof had zero idea and was still prancing around and jumping on me. He definitely did not act like those insta viral pups who put their paw or face on my belly! During our pregnancy shoot, we had to use treats to get Mister to sniff my belly. One thing we did notice was that Mister became a bit more attentive and affectionate. He would sit closer to us and also followed me EVERYWHERE. However, we are not sure whether this was due to the pregnancy or because we were home all the time due to the pandemic.

Mister is a huge sweetheart, but we were a little nervous about how he would react to an addition to the family. He is used to so much attention from us and we wanted to make sure that he wouldn’t be jealous. He can also be quite mean to other dogs (never humans) and snap at dogs that rub him the wrong way. We did a bunch of research beforehand to try and make the introduction and transition as smooth as possible. Here are some tips that we used:

  • Have something from the hospital that smells like the baby to give to your pup: we brought a squeaky toy and a towel for Mister. We put the items on Lex when he was in the hospital and gave them to Mister before he met Lex.
  • Give the pup lots of treats and toys: we overloaded Mister with treats, new toys, and positive affirmations. We wanted him to feel extra loved and part of the family amidst this transition.
  • Don’t say “no” when the pup gets close to the baby: we didn’t want Mister to have negative associations with Lex so instead of “no” we would distract him with something else to lure him away.
  • Praise and reward the pup when he has positive interactions with the baby: whenever Mister sniffed or gave Lex a lick, we showered him with “good boy!” and treats. We wanted him to view Lex as a positive addition to the family.
  • Let the baby “give” him a treat: when Lex got a little bigger, we would put treats in Lex’s hands and let him “give” the treat to Mister.

We did all those things and were delighted to see that Mister acted very positively towards Lex. Since we do not have a full time helper, we had put Mister at his favorite pet hotel for the week before my due date. On the day of the introduction, I stayed in the baby room with Lex while Jerry was in the living room. When Mister arrived, Jerry gave him the Lex scented towel and toy to sniff. After Mister had some time to calm down (he’s always super hyped after returning home from the dog hotel), Jerry came into the room to get Lex. We decided it was better for Jerry to hold Lex in case Mister jumped up or got too excited. We allowed Mister to sniff Lex’s feet and gave him lots of positive feedback.

Once again, he’s not the insta viral type of dog that lets the baby lay and snuggle on him, but he was excited and gentle with Lex, which we were more than happy about. He never seemed jealous and was always quite relaxed with Lex being nearby. In the beginning, Mister was a bit turned off by the crying and would leave the room when it happened, but later on he would come and check on Lex when he was upset. We also noticed that Mister would often sleep outside our bedroom (where Lex slept for the first few months), we found out that it was a guarding instinct in dogs and we thought it was so sweet that Mister felt protective over Lex.

As Lex got older, we became a little less strict about Mister getting too close. In the first month, we only allowed Mister to lick his toes. Soon we let him lick his hands and sometimes his face. We don’t openly allow the face, but were not too strict on it when it happened. However, Lex did get a bad tummy once, so we are not allowing face licks anymore (although we’re not sure Mister was the culprit).

As much as we love Mister, it is important to note that we never leave him and Lex together unattended. The only time we do that is when Lex is in his crib and Mister is relaxing on the floor, since Lex is in a contained space. We need to remember that our pets are still animals and having a new baby in the home it is a big change for them. They could feel threatened or jealous and act in an unexpected way. Part of being a responsible owner is to understand our pets and to try to avoid unfortunate situations. As Lex gets older, we will also make sure to teach him how to respect Mister and his space. Often times I see kids approach Mister with shrieks and surprise pats on the bum… that is not ok and every parent should teach their children how to approach and treat dogs (and other animals).

I have noticed that I have become more impatient with Mister ever since Lex was born. I know it is not Mister’s fault but when you’re sleep deprived and busy, Mister’s overeagerness and energy can really get on my nerves. However, even when I’m snappy and do not give him as much attention as I used to, Mister is still as loving and happy as ever. It is something that I am very grateful for.

As Lex becomes more mobile and interactive, we are excited to see how their friendship flourishes. It has always been my dream to have my children and fur babies grow up together and it warms my heart to see it happen before my eyes.

Getting back to working out (the first two months)

Fitness, Motherhood

One of the main things that I was most excited about after giving birth was getting back to working out. While I was excited, I knew it would not be easy at all. Even though I stayed relatively active during my pregnancy, the exercise routine was nowhere compared to what I did before (which is ok!). I lost of lot of fitness and also was a lot heavier than I was pre-pregnancy. I knew this would be a long road, but I was also ready to face this challenge.

I was very lucky to experience a smooth recovery after my emergency c-section. My doctor was amazing and saw me 1 week and 2 weeks post-op (instead of the standard 6 weeks). After inspecting the wound and asking me a few questions, he told me that I could start gentle workouts at 4 weeks and that I would be basically back to normal by 6 weeks! Note: Please remember that every pregnancy and recovery is different. Please consult your doctor and get clearance before working out!

At 4 weeks, I decided to do a postpartum workout by Bodyfit by Amy, the same trainer whose prenatal workout’s I’ve been doing throughout my pregnancy. Her workouts are short and sweet and she’s also really motivating. She is going through postpartum herself in many of the videos so it is very relatable and encouraging. I did a few YouTube workouts here and there but it was not until 7 weeks that I finally got more serious about my routine.

By week 7, I decided that I had to make a workout plan for myself and that I should try to workout 5 times a week. I also went for my first run since getting pregnant! The run was TOUGH. I decided to do a short 1.6 km run with rolling hills. Once I started the run, I was panting instantly. I felt so heavy and my ankles were also hurting a bit. However, the c-section wound did not hurt at all and my newly huge breasts also felt ok! So that was a win. The run was difficult, but I know that I have to keep pushing so that I can get back to runs where I feel springy and powerful. I have always loved running so it was annoying to feel so heavy and unfit, the 1.6 km felt much longer than that! The hot weather and mask wearing law definitely did not make things easier. I decided that I should try to do 1-2 runs per week. It is very difficult to find time to run outside with a newborn. I need to sleep ok the night before and Lex needs to finish his feed before 8 am (the weather is deathly hot later and Lex is also more fussy in the evening), leaving me a small window to fit in the run.

Feeling so unfit and heavy was definitely humbling for me. In recent years, I have been very proud of my endurance and fitness. I must admit that there have been times where I was judgmental towards people who seemed unfit – I wrongly assumed they weren’t trying hard enough or were lazy. Now I know how difficult it is and that people who seem unfit may actually be trying harder than anyone and deserve praise and encouragement. We never know what they went through and what their journey is.

This postpartum journey has just begun, but I am both nervous and excited to see what I am capable of. While I have lost a lot of fitness and endurance, I have not lost my mental strength and tenacity. If anything, being this unfit has made me more determined than ever to push myself and become stronger and fitter than before!

Our stay at the hospital – first week as parents!

Motherhood

Once our baby Lex was born, I was naive enough to think that it was time for me to go to bed… NOPE! Parenting started right away! After I was stitched up, I was rolled back to the maternity unit into our room. We opted for a private room and Jerry got settled into the pull-out bed. It was around 11 pm by then and I was wired but also exhausted. Lex was rolled into the room after getting his measurements and shots and it was time to feed! Two midwives came into my room to help me get set up by propping pillows everywhere, showing me the different positions, and helping Lex latch properly. At that moment Lex was only drinking colostrum, as it takes a fews days for the milk to come in. His tiny tummy was also the size of a cherry, so he only needed a very small amount of food. I was to feed Lex every 3-4 hours (counting from the start time) and for 30 minutes on each breast. This schedule was important for Lex’s growth and also for making sure my milk supply was established. I was given a clipboard with a time sheet to keep track of each feed. Once the feeding was done, the midwives left and told me that they would return at the scheduled time for the next feed… I only had around 2 hours to sleep! I definitely did not expect this to happen right away, but it was a great way to propel into parenthood – goodbye 9 hours of uninterrupted sleep!

Breastfeeding was going well, but in the first few days I needed a lot of assistance from the midwives. I would use a giant nursing pillow and around 2-3 extra pillows to get into the right position. Luckily Lex latched pretty well and I was also not afraid to remove him from the breast and re-latch him if it was not comfortable. However, by the third day my nipples were definitely getting quite sore. Luckily they recovered quickly and there were no splits or anything serious. By the fourth day my milk came in and it was so fascinating to see how the clear colostrum was no more and white milk was coming out! I felt like a cow! Even though I knew this was what was supposed to happen, it was still so strange to see it occurring.

As for myself, I was lucky to experience an extremely smooth recovery after my emergency c-section. I had heard that some women could hardly get out of bed after a c-section, so I was preparing myself for days of bedrest and pain. However, I was able to get up and walk around the next day with minimal pain. I was prescribed Panadol, but was allowed to ask for stronger pain medications if needed, but it was not necessary. I was a little careful when getting up from the bed, but apart from that, I felt great! My tummy was still a bit swollen and I looked like I was 4-5 months pregnant. It felt so weird to touch it and it was so soft and empty, like a deflated balloon! I knew it would take a few weeks to reduce in size, so I was not too worried. Breastfeeding is also known to help the uterus shrink and I could definitely feel some light cramps whenever I was feeding Lex. The c-section also cut into a few nerves, so my tummy was both numb and slightly sore… a really strange feeling. Dr. Ghosh said that the regular sensations would come back after I would fully recover.

Getting up every 3 hours to feed was definitely a big change from my 8-9 hours of sleep a night, but I felt pretty energetic throughout the week. It was also helpful to have the option for Lex to be taken to the nursery at night. Matilda encourages room sharing between mother and baby, but if the baby is fussy, the midwives will whisk him away to the nursery, so parents can sleep peacefully. By around midweek, the midwives would come in less often and I was more independent in terms of breastfeeding. I kept track of the feedings using the form that was provided and woke up at night to feed Lex myself. I still had the use of the magic button – a button that I could press whenever I needed assistance and a midwife would appear in minutes, but they were definitely giving me more room to get used to breastfeeding on my own.

We were also lucky to be able to have visitors during the pandemic. The hospital allowed 2 visitors each time and we were able to see my parents and some good friends. I was worried that I would be too tired or overwhelmed, but seeing my loved ones were absolutely wonderful. 

The midwives at Matilda were absolute angels. Since we were unable to take the antenatal course due to Covid, we learnt a lot about newborn care during our week long stay there. We had read a lot and watched lots of YouTube videos, but never got hands on experience. We learnt all about cleaning Lex’s face, giving him a bath, umbilical cord care, circumcision care, changing diapers, and breastfeeding. While the c-section was unplanned, I now look back at it as a blessing in disguise, because it gave us so much extra time to learn these new skills. I was initially scheduled to stay for 2 nights for a vaginal birth, but ended up staying 5 nights for the emergency c-section. Matilda is also super comfortable and it gave us extra time to rest and recharge before going home. The meals were also yummy and arrived in record time after we ordered each time. It was a nice break before getting back to real life! The midwives were so attentive, experienced, and compassionate. We came into the hospital with limited knowledge of newborn care and were shook up after my delivery, but we left Matilda feeling confident and secure as budding new parents.

My birth story

Motherhood, Pregnancy

I am so thrilled to finally share my birth story! It took me a while to write it up, because things have been in full swing since baby Lex arrived. It was also a lot to process, so I wanted to take some time before finally writing it out.

Leading up to the due date, we were getting extremely impatient and were desperate for our baby boy to arrive. We had been sure that he would come early (a total hunch), since he was measuring big and many of Jerry’s friends’ babies came early. On the day before the due date, I lost my mucus plug and Jerry excitedly packed his hospital bag… but we soon found out that while loosing the mucus plug meant things were going in the right direction, labor could start in hours or weeks.

My due date came and went and I was scheduled to see my doctor in the coming week to discuss options. At 40+3 days, I woke up at 4 am and felt a small bit of water coming out. I went to the bathroom to check, but was unsure whether it was amniotic fluid or not. I put on a pad and went back to sleep. At 6 am I felt another small gush and I decided to call the hospital to double check. The medical staff told me to come in to be monitored, so we got to the Matilda Hospital at 9 am and I was shown into the Delivery Spa (what a name!). I had two belts put on my belly, one to monitor contractions and one to monitor the baby’s heart rate. Fortunately everything seemed normal, so I just had to wait for my doctor (Dr. Ghosh) to come in. We did a quick test to check whether the fluid was amniotic fluid and it came back as a weak positive. Dr. Ghosh advised me to stay in the hospital, because this meant I had a premature rupture of membranes, as my waters had broke but labor had not properly started (I had some very weak contractions and my cervix was completely closed). Jerry and I were excited! This meant that things were finally happening. Little did we know this was the beginning of a very long and difficult two days. We spent the entire day walking around the hospital, bouncing on the exercise ball, and doing labor inducing exercises to try and get spontaneous labor started.

After moving around all day, contractions were still not happening and at 8 pm Dr. Ghosh suggested a pessary to induce labor. The pessary is put in your vagina and is a more gentle way to induce labor. The next stage is to use the synthetic form of oxycontin (syntocinon/pitocin), but this is much stronger. Dr. Ghosh wanted to see how my body reacted to the pessary before putting me on the IV syntocinon drip. Dr. Ghosh also told me that if my body would not react well, there was chance that we would have to opt for a c-section. I was quite worried that we would have to do that, because I had hoped for an all natural birth with as few medical interventions as possible, but I was also open to the idea if it made the most sense for me and my baby. I went to bed hoping that the pessary would work.

At 4 am, I felt a huge gush of water and woke up. My water had properly broke (like in the movies) and in the next few hours I experienced periodic huge gushes of water. I almost even slipped on my own amniotic fluid at one point. I started to have frequent contractions and had to be monitored again. At around 5 am, I had my first bloody show. I was getting excited! Things seemed to be going in the right direction. Perhaps I could have my natural birth as planned.

The contractions were bearable at this point and just felt like a dull period cramp. At around 6:30 am, contractions were coming around every 2 minutes and getting quite uncomfortable and I started doing my breathing exercises with Jerry. At 8:00 am, contractions were starting to slow down again and Dr. Ghosh came in to examine me. I was disappointed to learn that after hours of contractions my cervix had hardly opened. However, Dr. Ghosh felt that we had enough progress to move onto the syntocinon/pitocin IV drip. At this point I had mixed feelings. I was excited to get the contractions to be stronger to move me along to delivery, but induction of labor increases the risk of a c-section and pitocin use also causes contractions that are “usually stronger, more regular and more frequent than those where labor has begun naturally”. I had wanted to try delivering my baby without any pain relief, so the risk of having more intense and frequent contractions was a bit worrying. Dr. Ghosh also asked me whether I wanted to consider an epidural now, which was surprising because he knew of my birth plan and how I wanted to refrain from pain relief unless absolutely needed. However, I soon found out why he gave me the option early…

Once the pitocin started, things ramped up quickly. The contractions came back stronger than ever before and I was really starting to struggle. It felt like everything was cramping up and there were stabbing pains in my entire abdomen. Jerry would stand with me to do the breathing exercises that I learnt during the Positive Birth Course, but soon I was unable to follow with the breathing because it was just too painful. I felt that swaying around during the contractions felt better than laying down, but at times I was in so much pain that I had to grasp the side of the bed. It was also unfortunate that the midwife assigned to me at that time was quite unsupportive and stoic. She kept saying that these contractions were not even the worst yet and I had a long way to go. I really just wanted to tell her to STFU and after a while asked her if she ever had kids. She said “no” so I wanted to tell her that she clearly has no idea what I was going through. The dosage of pitocin was gradually being increased and the contractions became stronger and stronger.

Unfortunately, my baby’s heart rate also started to decelerate, so Dr. Ghosh was called and the dosage was lowered and was not to be increased anymore. The breathing exercises were supposed to be done in sets of 4 because that is how long normal contractions were, however, these contractions lasted for much longer. You are also supposed to have a bit of a break between contractions but they started to come right after another. At this point it was past lunch time, but I had no appetite, as I was consumed with just trying to get through the contractions. Even though I did not find my midwife to be supportive, she was extremely diligent in noting down my baby’s heart rate and also provided me with some useful information regarding pain relief options. I did not want gas or a pethidine injection, because I did not want to feel out of it or tired. Therefore the epidural made the most sense to me. She also told me that at this rate, I had at least 6+ hours to go… hearing that made me finally bite the bullet and agree to an epidural.

I had said I would be open to the idea of an epidural if things became too difficult, but I could not help but feel like I had let myself down and that I had failed. I really wanted to try and power through the birth and even though I knew that I already had the induction, which made things more laborious, it was still a disappointment. However, the idea of being in this much pain (and probably even stronger contractions) for another 6 or more hours was unfathomable. At that point I was unable to eat, felt nauseous, and was shaking. I knew that I had to set aside my pride and do what made sense.

Once I got the epidural, things were a lot easier. However, I still had a strange cramping sensation in my back/bum area. I was finally able to relax a little and ordered some food. Dr. Ghosh came every few hours to check on me and I was desperate to see whether I had progressed. Sadly, after hours of painful contractions, he said that my cervix had only dilated to 3 cm. 4 hours later, my cervix was only at 7 cm and my baby’s head was also not low enough. Dr. Ghosh said that he would check one more time later at night and if things were still not progressing, we would have to go for the c-section. The midwife suggested that I go on all fours (on the bed with pillows under me) to help the baby’s head engage and I did that for about an hour. Once I sat back up, I felt extremely unwell and ended up throwing up everything. The midwife took my temperature and I had a fever at 37.9, which then increased to 38.4 a while later.

Dr. Ghosh was called again and notified of this development. It has been almost 40 hours since my water first broke and with the fever there was now a serious risk of infection. There was no choice but to go for the emergency c-section. When I heard that, I instantly felt a bit panicked, even though I knew this was a potential outcome all along. I also felt a bit let down, because after all these hours of trying, we still had to come to this final step. I was so eager to have a natural delivery and to see what my body was capable of. I have always been proud of my resilience and fitness, I felt that no matter how difficult and painful something was, my grit would carry me through, just like in all my triathlons and marathons. The Positive Birth course made a point to say that “your body was designed to do this”, and while it is meant to be a motivating statement, when things go the other way, it could make you question “what was wrong with my body?”. Birth is an extremely complicated and precisely coordinated event between mother and baby, and I had to accept that things were just not in sync. I also accepted that the delivery was not an event for my ego, if things were not working out, I had to do what was best for my baby and myself. I also had to give myself some credit for going through a very difficult labor and handling it the best that I could.

Tears welled up in my eyes but there was hardly any time to be upset. I was also beyond exhausted and mentally drained at that point. It was around 8 pm and we had hardly had any sleep the night before. I wished that we could just pause everything and that I could have one normal night of sleep before going to the c-section. Luckily I had a new lovely midwife helping me who was incredibly warm and supportive, which made a huge difference. She said “good girl, you are doing so well and you have been through a lot” (YES THANK YOU). Jerry knew how I felt and instantly told me that everything was going to be ok, this was what was best for me and our baby boy. Medical staff started moving around at a noticeably quicker pace and I was wheeled into the operating theatre.

Even though I knew it was completely irrational, I kept thinking of all the worst case scenarios, where the anesthesia would not work and I would be the one in a billion person who would suddenly feel all the pain of being sliced open. Luckily, my anesthesiologist was a complete angel (and probably has dealt with people with similar fears) and was extremely reassuring and kind. He kept saying that they would double check everything and ensure that I would feel nothing. He walked me through the entire process and also told me that I would only feel some tugging and pressure. If I felt any pain at all I was to let him know immediately. He put an ice pack on my stomach and asked if I felt it, I told him that I felt the pressure but not the coldness. We were ready to go. He also engaged in carefree banter with me to take my mind off the operation. I felt much more at ease and then he told me that the c-section had already started without me even realizing it! There was a lot of weird tugging and pushing sensations but as promised, I felt no pain.

My mood during this time was peculiar. We had spent months and months waiting for this special moment, but because of how exhausting and painful these last two days had been, my mood was a bit flat. I was unhappy that my excitement was no longer at the same level during this momentous time, but I just felt so drained I wanted it to just be over. However, Dr. Ghosh indicated that our baby was almost out and all those feelings suddenly came back when I heard his cry for the first time – this was our son! All the doctors were laughing happily and said that he was a big baby! He was placed onto my chest instantly for skin to skin and our baby slowly opened his eyes to look at me. It is hard to describe how it felt but it is a moment that I will never forget. There were so many emotions rushing through me and I looked at Jerry – we were now a family.

Husband appreciation post

Pregnancy

As I am nearing the end of the pregnancy, I wanted to dedicate a post to my amazing husband. I was lucky to have a pretty smooth pregnancy, but it was not always easy. There were times where I felt unwell, tired, or just moody, but he was always there for me and I always felt supported, encouraged, and loved.

He always surprised me in the morning with breakfasts in bed, with amazing items such as avocado toast, veggie omelettes, pancakes, pineapple mango smoothies, and fruit cups. When I had hunger pangs, he made sure to stock our house with snacks and even kept some in car for emergencies. . Since I was avoiding public transportation due to the pandemic, he never hesitated to drive me to my girlfriend’s homes, even when it meant he had to sit through traffic alone on the way back.

While I usually cook and he does the dishes, there were days where I was too tired and he has stepped up and done both dinner and dishes. We do not have a full time helper and he is always there to wash dishes, do laundry, and vacuum the floor. Even though sometimes I feel like I need to help out more around the house, he reminds me that I am already working hard 24/7 nurturing our baby boy. He has also been the best dog dad to our pup Mister. Whether it is boiling hot or pouring rain, he will take Mister out for long hikes, walks, and paddle boarding. Even if he had a full day at the office and I was just at home resting, he would take Mister for his bathroom break when he gets home so that I would never have to leave the house.

I always feel like we are a team. We split up a lot of the work preparing for the arrival for our baby. While I researched the bulk of the baby items, he read tirelessly through parenting books and researched tedious issues such as insurance, passport registration, and cord blood banking. We brainstormed questions for our obstetrician together before every visit and he was there for every single one of our prenatal check ups. We were unable to take many in-person antenatal classes, but he was engaged and enthusiastic in all our online antenatal courses. I never felt like I had to push him to contribute or be interested, he was always full of excitement and eager to learn more.

When I am moody and cry over the weirdest things, instead of laughing it off he is there to listen and comfort me. I was not always comfortable with the changes my body was going through, but he always made me feel beautiful and reminded me that my body was doing something incredible. He motivated me to stay active during my pregnancy and even did all my prenatal home workouts with me, even though it consisted of lots of squats and aerobic toe tapping. He also (gently) reminded me to eat more veggies when all I wanted were carbs and desserts, even if it meant he might get some attitude in return.

Seeing his excitement for our little baby as he grows throughout the weeks melts my heart and I feel so lucky to have such an incredible partner. He has been the best husband to me and I know that he will be the best father and role model to our little boy.

Third trimester – Almost there!

Pregnancy

Woohoo we are in the final stretch! Even though most people call the second trimester the golden age of pregnancy…. I actually liked the third trimester the most ! It felt like my body was finally getting used to the pregnancy and I felt more energetic and motivated than before (even though if I have to hear “get your sleep while you can!” one more time I might strangle someone). I also finally got into a good workout routine where I worked out 5-6 times a week. I think it had to do with finding an awesome prenatal trainer and also discovering BodyFit by Amy’s Prenatal YouTube channel. The weather is now disgustingly hot, so going for walks (even early morning) was not appealing at all. I loved how I could just pop on a YouTube and get the workout done in the comfort of my home. Amy’s Prenatal workouts are short and sweet and she is energetic and motivating. My personal trainer Esther has also been extremely helpful in making sure I stay active during this time. Even when gyms were closed due to COVID-19, she was able to make home visits so that I could maintain my workout routine. We did a lot of breathing and strength exercises that target areas important for pregnancy and we also focused on engaging the pelvic floor muscles. Doing these workouts made me feel strong and prepared for delivery. I look forward to working with her during my postpartum period as well!

I did adjust my workouts over the last 3 weeks, because I was starting to experience some unpleasant hip and pelvic pains. Moves such as lunges started to hurt, so I focused more on stretching workouts to relieve the pain. I was also getting more tired during the last few weeks, but apart from having to take a small nap, I felt pretty good during the day. The hip and pelvic pain was quite uncomfortable and I had to make sure to get up slowly and to also be careful in my movements.

I also noticed that my emotions were a little more stable in the third trimester. In the first trimester I was extremely moody and would feel angry and sad easily. In the second trimester I cried easily like a young child over the most silly things. One time Jerry said that maybe we should give away 4 cupcakes that I baked away instead of 2, and I burst into tears! By the third trimester I definitely feel more sane and less volatile (even though I am still on the verge of plunging into a bad mood once in a while).

While my belly was still quite small by week 22/23, it grew quickly during the third trimester. I sometimes had a bit of acid reflux, but nothing serious. I have also noticed some pretty impressive veins on my chest and running down to my belly. Amazingly, I still did not get any stretch marks, but the belly has gotten quite itchy! Luckily, my sleep was still quite good and my dreams were also a bit less weird. I had a lot of very strange and visual dreams during my second trimester that often left me feeling a bit unnerved when I woke up. I did, however, experience two very painful leg cramps in the middle of the night. My entire left calf was cramped and I had to yell out in pain for Jerry who helped me straighten and massage it out. In the last few weeks, I would also suddenly wake up in the middle of the night and it would take a while before I could go back to sleep.

The Hong Kong summer heat is also here and I could definitely feel its effects. Jerry is usually much warmer than me but now feels like the AC is too cold… even though I am only just comfortable. I would break out into a sweat easily (especially after eating) and it would take me a while to get back to a comfortable state. However, I am glad that I will not be in my third trimester for the entire summer… something that I will keep in mind for the next pregnancy! I could not imagine being this big and hot for the entire duration of the summer!

The baby’s movements have also changed. It started off as soft flutters and gradually became strong kicks. Now they are little shifting of positions and sometimes it felt like an elbow or shoulder was brushing against my inside. It can feel a little uncomfortable, but it is also fun to poke him back and feel him retreat into my belly. Things are getting a bit cramped in there, so I am sure he is moving around to try and be comfortable. At our 36 week scan he was estimated to be at 6 lb and at 38 weeks was estimated to be 7.25 lb. We are excited to see how big he will be when he is born!

We have hardly gone outside due to the pregnancy, but since the situation in Hong Kong has improved quite a bit, we have enjoyed a few more meals outside. I finally was able to enjoy some of the pregnancy attention perks, such as restaurants giving me a cushion for my back and caring questions from strangers about when I am due/boy or girl. I thought these were all sweet gestures and I was glad that I was able to enjoy them for a little while.

I also felt super lucky to be able to have a baby shower. I understand that many women had to give up their baby showers overseas due to the pandemic and I was initially also unsure if I would be able to have one. I did not want anyone to feel pressured into coming if the pandemic situation was still iffy, but luckily things were improving by April and my friends were able to throw me an amazing baby shower in mid-May. We decided to have an intimate potluck at my home and it was the best time! Everyone brought delicious dishes and I felt so happy and lucky to be able to spend time with my closest friends to celebrate this special period in my life.

I also experienced some intense nesting tendencies. I was so eager to wash and clean everything and also folded and refolded the baby’s things multiple times. I loved the feeling of preparing the nursery for his arrival. I kept looking over my to-buy list and kept wondering whether I was missing anything.

I think I could just describe the third trimester as a period that is overflowing with excitement and eager anticipation. While the second trimester felt so long and I was unsure how I was going to handle being pregnant for another trimester, the third trimester really flew by! I also feel more connected to our baby and cannot wait until we can hold him in our arms. I have also been thinking about the shift from being pregnant to becoming a mother. Pregnancy has been a large part of who I was for the last 9 months and while I am excited to have my body back, I will also miss some parts of pregnancy. As we are in the final weeks, I wonder how I will feel when our baby is no longer shifting around in my belly. The transition will be interesting, but I am excited to jump into the beautiful adventure of motherhood.

Writing up the birth plan – What to include and my own preferences

Pregnancy

It is time to write up the birth plan! The birth plan is very important and takes ample thought and research, so don’t save it for the last minute. I learnt a lot during my antenatal classes and I also had to do some research on my own before finalizing my birth plan. Everyone has their own preferences and sometimes others may eagerly tell you “you MUST do _____” or “definitely do _____”, but remember, it is YOUR body, pregnancy, and delivery. You know yourself the best and you should make sure that you do your own research before letting others shift your perspective on what your birth should look like and how you feel about certain interventions. As always, speak to your doctor regarding any questions you may have, as well as your birth preferences. This is one of the reasons why it is so important to find a doctor that is on the same page as you, or, when he does not agree with you, is respectful of your decisions (as long as it is safe for you and the baby). My doctor has been incredibly supportive of all my decisions and it has made me feel encouraged and confident throughout the entire process.

It is also important to remember that the birth plan is there to let your healthcare team know your preferences and is not an iron clad contract. A lot of things can happen during birth and it may not pan out exactly the way you want it to. The birth plan will reflect how you feel towards certain interventions and what to do in case something changes. This is a helpful article about drafting your birth plan, here is another one.

Many hospitals will provide a birth plan template for you to fill out. My birth plan from Matilda was quite simple. It basically asked me what my main goals were, ways to achieve those goals, and biggest fears for the birth. My main goal is to have a healthy baby and my fear is to have a traumatic birth/birth that will negatively affect the baby. I would like to have a delivery that is as natural as possible with limited medical interventions, but I am open to them if they are needed.

Some of the things you should try to list out in your birth plan include:

  • Vaginal or c-section birth
  • Pain management: this can include epidural, gas, TENS machine, injection, breathing/meditating. Speak to your doctor about the options available in the hospital and also do your own research
  • Atmosphere of delivery room: dimmed lights, music
  • Who do you want with you in the delivery room
  • Birth positions: upright, laying on your back, etc.
  • Procedures for after the baby is born: delayed cord clamping, instant skin to skin
  • Other procedures: newborn metabolic screening, hearing test, cord blood storage, circumcision (if you are having a boy)

Unfortunately I can’t say in my birth plan that I would like Mister to be there!

Here is a quick explanation of some of my preferences below:

  • No epidural unless absolutely necessary: epidurals are a very effective and popular method of pain relief. This article provides an excellent overview of the procedure and also some pros and cons, here is another one. While they are a great method of pain relief, epidurals can increase the risk of having a forceps or vacuum assisted delivery and you may have limited mobility and sensation in your lower body. My doctor had also said that epidurals prolonged labor and affected the coordination of contractions. Epidurals can be very useful if the pain is unbearable or if you are too exhausted (the epidural can provide you with some relief so that you can sleep/rest). Some may opt for an epidural right away but I would like to try delivering without the epidural, unless I am no longer able to push effectively or if the doctor feels it is needed. Contrary to popular belief, it is never too late to get an epidural (unless the baby’s head is crowning or the anesthesiologist is busy). My main pain management will be breathing techniques.
    • Do what works for you, if you are extremely nervous about the pain and the epidural will give you more confidence, go for it! But always make sure you know about the pros and cons before making that decision.
  • No routine episiotomy: Tears are something that everyone is scared of. Episiotomies (incision in the perineum) used to be done routinely as it was thought to prevent natural tears and healed better than natural tears. However, current research reveals that women who do not have episiotomies may actually labor and recover better. In both my UK and American antenatal classes, it was said that they should NOT be done routinely and should only be done if deemed medically necessary. However, while talking to my friend who is a pediatrician, it seems that episiotomies are still done routinely in Hong Kong. According to this article, the incision could be more extensive than a natural tear and the episiotomy can be at risk of infection, cause pain during sex, and even result in fecal incontinence. Be sure to speak to your doctor to get his insight into episiotomies. I spoke to my doctor and he also said that it should never be done routinely and is seen as a surgical procedure that is only done if the baby needs to be delivered quickly or if it seems that the birth is likely to result in a severe natural tear.
  • Delayed cord clamping: delayed cord clamping is when you delay the clamping of the umbilical cord after the baby is born. Traditionally the cord is clamped instantly, but there is now there is evidence that delayed cord clamping can be beneficial for babies by increasing their blood volume, red blood cells count, and iron levels. The article I linked to above also talks about some risks associated with this procedure, but none of them are statistically proven and the benefits are deemed to outweigh the supposed risks.
  • Skin to skin: Babies are often whisked away after birth to be cleaned and weighed, but there is increasing evidence on the benefits of instant skin to skin contact between the newborn and mother. This article from UNICEF provides a great overview. In my birth plan, I have mentioned that I would like skin to skin right after my baby is born, whether I have a vaginal birth or c-section.

There is a lot to think about when creating your birth plan and I hope that this post is helpful for new mamas! Remember, the birth plan is there to outline all your preferences and will play an important role in creating a smooth delivery. Make sure you are informed regarding all the different types of procedures and interventions, so that you can vocalize your preferences and can stay calm, collected, and confident during your delivery!

Cord Blood Storage – is it worth it?

Pregnancy

If you are pregnant or expecting, you may have heard of cord blood storage. It is a relatively new trend but more and more parents are opting to have their baby’s cord blood stored, as it may have many future benefits.

As explained in this article, cord blood is the blood that is taken from the umbilical cord right after birth and is a rich source of stem cells. The stem cells sourced from cord blood can be used to treat a number of diseases, such as certain cancers, blood disorders, and immune system disorders.

We were very interested in this technology and planned to have our baby’s cord blood privately stored. This article provides more information regarding cord blood storage options in Hong Kong. As the article shows, there are many companies in Hong Kong. We did not know enough about the technology to make an informed choice, so we spoke to our doctor to get his input. In short, this was his helpful feedback:

  • While both cord blood storage and cord tissue storage are available, he recommended choosing cord blood storage. Cord tissue usage in treatments is still in the experimental stage, while cord blood storage has proven usage for a number of diseases. Of course, depending on your preferences, you chose to store both.
  • Find a company that has an international presence with offices around the world. You will be storing the blood for a long time (maybe as long as 20 years) and you want to make sure that the company will be around that long. There are no guarantees, but a company that has been around for a while already and that has an international presence is more likely to be still be around when you may need your stored cord blood.

We reached out to a few private companies and ultimately went with HealthBaby. They have a number of relevant certifications and their technology seems state of the art. They are part of a larger organization, the Cordlife Group, a Singaporean publicly traded company with a network of offices across Asia. Their representative was extremely informative and sent us a lot of pamphlets and information without being overly pushy. Our doctor has worked with them before as well. All these factors helped us to make our decision and go with HealthBaby.

In terms of logistics, you need to confirm before week 37 of the pregnancy, so if you are considering cord blood storage please keep this in mind. Typically, the storage company will send over an agreement / health form, as well as the blood collection kit, which you have to bring to the hospital yourself during delivery. Make sure both your doctor and the hospital know about your intention to store the baby’s cord blood and also include this intention in your birth plan.

Cord blood storage can add up to a significant sum, but we felt that potential benefits outweigh the costs. We want to make sure that we did what we could to ensure the health and wellbeing for our child.

The pelvic floor – what is it and why is it important?

Pregnancy

For all my pregnant readers, I am sure by now you have heard about the pelvic floor multiple times. The pelvic floor is a a layer of muscles that supports the pelvic organs, including the bladder, bowel, and uterus in women. The pelvic floor muscles are used to control your bowel and bladder functions and they also play an important role in your sexual function. The pelvic floor muscles are stretched during pregnancy and will go through even more impact during the delivery itself (if you are having a vaginal birth). I am sure many of you have heard jokes about moms who pee a little if they laugh too hard or women who joke about how they can’t jump on trampolines anymore. The importance of strengthening your pelvic floor was not a priority before and it was accepted that woman would just lose a bit of bladder control after having children. this is not the case anymore! There are a lot of resources regarding how to take that control back and how to get our bodies stronger and better after childbirth.

One of the most famous pregnancy exercises are “kegels”. While kegels are a good way to work on your pelvic muscles, I often find it difficult to remember to do them. One good thing about kegels is that you can do them anywhere and anytime, but for some reason I always forget! I downloaded an app that sends you a reminder everyday and also allows you to customize the type of kegel exercises that you do. The app is called “Easy Kegel” and it is free (you can pay for some extra features). I found the app to be really helpful in reminding myself to do my daily kegels and it also features two types of “slow” or “fast” exercises that will maximize your muscle strengthening.

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Apart from kegels, I would also highly recommend training with a prenatal certified trainer during your pregnancy. They know all the ins and outs of bodily changes during pregnancy and will develop specialized training that fits your fitness level/body and the stage of pregnancy that you’re in. My trainer Esther from Aqua Terra is awesome and I definitely feel more confident about my delivery and postpartum recovery because of our training sessions together.

We should all take a proactive role in getting our body back in fighting form after pregnancy! Bladder leakage and decreased sexual function should not be something that women accept as a natural consequence of childbirth. With the proper training, we can all get back to where we were, if not even better.