Jerry and I used to travel A LOT – like a crazy amount. We used to go to Holland every 2 months and then 3-4 trips a year for triathlon races and on top of that regular leisure trips. Things all froze once the pandemic hit and we also welcomed our dear baby Lex soon after. We obviously would not travel as much now that we have a baby but we were still very excited to take Lex on holidays. Unfortunately the pandemic lasted much longer than anyone expected and we still haven’t had a chance to travel anywhere with Lex (this staycation happened back in the summer and since then we HAVE traveled with Lex, but that will be for another post).
I have been wanting to do a staycation for some time but I always wasn’t sure if it would actually be a good idea. We had everything we needed at home and living in the south side often felt like a vacation anyways. We were also unsure of how Lex’s sleep schedule would be like in a hotel and worried that we would end up being more tired than usual if his schedule blew up. After toying with the idea for some time, Jerry surprised me by booking a staycation at the Grand Hyatt for the weekend! In the days leading up to it, I was SO excited. It really felt like we were going away on a trip.
Hotels in Hong Kong have been busting out deals to try and survive during the pandemic. We noticed that the lobby was very busy and there was a line to check in. It was nice to see that people were responding to the deals and hopefully the hotels are making some money. The room had an amazing view of the city and the harbourfront and Lex instantly climbed onto the window to check it out. He was so excited the whole time and kept running around the room to explore his new surroundings. Lex recently started walking so it was perfect timing to do a staycation because he could walk around on his own and we didn’t want him crawling on the floors.
The hotel was very thoughtful and prepared a lot of kid friendly items such as a welcome bag with a mask, a coupon for a snack, and also baby bathtub, shampoo, and slippers!
After relaxing in the room for a little, it was time for our afternoon tea. The sandwiches and sweets were so yummy! The afternoon tea also came with a buffet of waffles, crepes, ice cream, fruit, macarons, and chocolates. Lex had some insane amount of energy and I liked how there was space for him to walk around. There were also some beautiful live music playing and Lex was completely captivated. It was so sweet!
After the afternoon tea we filled the bathtub for Lex to take a bubble bath. We don’t have a bath tub in our home so Lex was loving it. After the bath it was time to start Lex’s bedtime routine around 7:30 pm. The building lights were flashing and he was getting so distracted so we ended up closing all the blinds. We bedshare so it was quite convenient for me to just nurse him to sleep on the bed and there was no need to set up a portable crib etc. It was a bit tricky though after he fell asleep because Jerry and I had to talk quietly and hang out in the dark. We decided to order some room service and enjoyed some alone time in the dark together. Lex did wake up randomly around 9:30 pm and didn’t want to go back to sleep until past 11 pm!
Overall the night was ok, the bed is a bit smaller than the bed we have at home so we were all a bit cramped but we made it! As always, Lex woke around 5:30-6 am and we decided to go to the Central Harbourfront for a walk. Jerry and I used to always run this path and it was exciting to see how much it has expanded. It was really well organized and there were lots of cute artwork and playful areas for children. It was nice to explore something new in our own city.
After our walk it was time for the breakfast buffet! Hotel breakfasts are my favorite and something I look forward to during our travels. The Grand Hyatt one did not disappoint with a large array of yummy foods. We definitely stuffed ourselves this trip! Lex went down for his first nap at 10 am nicely and it was time for me to get pampered! My lovely husband booked me a massage and it was a really great way to unwind and relax.
Jerry and I both realized how nice to was to just do something new and get away for a day. Even though we are unable to travel with Lex yet, it was so nice to have this new experience and he handled it like a champ! There are definitely more staycations in store for us!
Being a new parent is hard work! There is SO much to learn and you feel like you are pulled in all directions. The baby becomes the #1 priority and often times we forget to take care of ourselves and the marriage. Let’s be real, any second you get you want to either sleep in or just lay around, but it is so important to make the extra effort to connect with your partner and spend some quality time. This applies for parents at any stage of parenthood, not just new parents. As we know, babies go through all sorts of development leaps and sleep regressions and they always keep us on our toes! It’s important to make sure you take extra time and effort to ensure your marriage does not suffer and you don’t want to chew up your partner.
Jerry and I have a wonderful relationship and I adore him to bits, but I would be lying if I said that the first few months were totally smooth and easy! Did I love seeing my husband become a father and my heart melted when I saw him with Lex? 100% yes. Did I want to sometimes strangle him? Also yes. We definitely noticed that we were short with each other more often and acting grumpy. It is completely understandable… you are figuring out newborn care (and continue to figure out child care month after month, it never stops) and you are functioning with very little sleep. For us mamas, we are also experiencing some raging hormones and recovering from childbirth (and maybe breastfeeding too!). It is normal to be more grumpy and irritable. However, it is so important to recognize that this is a sensitive and difficult period and to proactively do things to make sure you are looking out for your partner and your marriage. Your baby is incredibly important, but a strong partnership in your marriage is also essential and is the foundation of the family. Don’t ever forget that!
Here are some tips that I found very helpful:
Checking in often: it may just be a small text or a quick word, but it makes a huge difference because your partner will feel like you care and you will also be more in tuned to how each other is doing (and what to do to fix/improve things). Simple questions like “how are you feeling today?” or “how is the day going” are enough!
Open communication: the worst thing is to bottle up your feelings and let it build up. Even if it’s your husband or wife, they might know you well but they can’t read your mind ALL the time. Jerry and I make sure to speak up once something rubs us the wrong way or if we notice that we are feeling extra irritable. We are completely honest with each other and we always talk things out. Even if it feels petty, it never hurts to let them know. Sometimes I will recognize that I am being unreasonable but would still like him to know that his action is bothering me, for example: “I know I am being extra sensitive and it is probably just me, but you are really rubbing me the wrong way today etc.”
Recognizing each other’s efforts + saying thank you: when you are feeling tired and discouraged, it always feels nice to hear that someone is acknowledging your efforts and that you’re doing a good job. Make that extra effort to thank or praise your spouse, it will make them feel good!
Find time for each other: it does not have to be an entire outing or a grand experience, but just finding some small pockets of time throughout the day to show affection and connection. Jerry and I make sure we have some time together when Lex is napping. Sometimes it is just a short cuddle on the couch or a 3 second hug in the kitchen, it is an instant mood lifter.
Affection and intimacy: intimacy could be the last thing on your mind post baby but even a long hug or a nice kiss could make a world of difference. Sometimes we are so rushed and stressed, you forget to show your partner some love.
Look back on you as a couple before kids: Jerry recently spent some time looking at old photo books and videos of our trips and we both loved reminiscing on all the fun we had. We absolutely adore our time as a family now with Lex but it is really lovely to look back on our more carefree days when we traveled a lot and did a lot of races together! Sometimes it can feel like you’e overwhelmed by parenthood and you aren’t the same person as before, so it is refreshing to remind yourself of who you and your spouse were before kids (and you can definitely apply those things to your family life too! Life does not end after kids).
Date nights: this can be tough with busy work schedules and child care but even just once a month or every other week is a great start. Sometimes you feel like its too much effort but I can promise you you will never regret a date night. Jerry and I try to do a date night every other week and take turns organizing. We always have an amazing time and love the solo time to reconnect and enjoy each other’s company.
I hope that these ideas will be helpful and make the parenting experience even more enjoyable. It can be tough, but you and your partner are a team and will come out stronger than before!
I was so excited to plan Lex’s birthday party and wanted to share all the little ideas and touches that I thought made it more special and meaningful to us. Unfortunately the pandemic is still happening so options were pretty limited, however, we just wanted something intimate anyways so it was not a huge problem. We were initially hoping to have the party in the function room of our building complex but annoyingly it was not open yet. We ultimately decided to have it at our home and while it was a little cozy stuffing over 20 friends and babies in our living room, it all worked out well and we (and I hope Lex) had a blast!
Jerry and I try to be environmentally conscious in our day to day life so I wanted to make sure that we tried our best to be less wasteful with the decorations and other party props. I was super lucky that my bestie Clara was super helpful and helped me order a few things on TaoBao. I picked some banners that can be reused for the next year and also tried to minimize the use of balloons. There are a few things that I don’t think I can reuse and I plan to give them away to other moms so they can use it for their baby’s birthday party. I also found a group on Facebook that party decoration swapping! I also bought some compostable plates. While I know they are not perfect, it was just too much work to use our own plates so I felt like that was a compromise I was ok with. I also purchased flowers from the local flower shop in Stanley and arranged them in old food glass jars that we had in the house. It was so much fun to do and made the table setting look super cute!
For food, I did a mix of homemade and ordering from bakeries. I wanted to support a lovely business called The Good Cake. It is a small woman owned business that donates a portion of its earnings to buy rice of elderly living in poverty. I have purchased items from them multiple times before and they are always delicious and beautiful. It feels good to support a meaningful small business and the owner Karen is also lovely! I was also lucky that my friends Clara and Christine brought some delicious homemade goodies such as brownies and quiche.
I was initially planning to order a cake but our usual baker was out of town. I was tempted to use cake mix to bake a cake (I actually love cake mix!) but decided to try making my own cake from scratch. I have never used proper tools like a cake scraper and a turntable before so I was definitely taking a risk. Luckily the cake came out SO well and I was super happy with it. Karen from The Good Cake also provided some lovely plastic animals for me to use as cake toppers.
For goodie bags, I wanted to also support some local businesses. I ordered some wooden toys (to kind of fit the woodland theme and also because we generally prefer wood over plastic) and also bought some linen drawstring bags from Stanley market with each baby guests’ initial. Small shops have been suffering greatly due to the lack of tourists during the pandemic and I wanted to do my part to support them a little.
Overall it was such a lovely and intimate celebration and I was so happy that we are still able to have a celebration during the pandemic. It is so crazy to think that over a year ago we also had to do a small gathering at home for my baby shower and after so many months it is the same situation for Lex’s birthday party. However, we are already so lucky to be able to celebrate and of course to have our good health. I am grateful everyday for the life that we have and I am excited for more happy celebrations for our little boy.
This quote could not be more true as I look back on this amazing year. It is hard to believe that it has been 365 days since Lex came into the world. I still remember going to the hospital because my water broke early and the grueling 36 hours before finally having to do an emergency c section. It feels just like yesterday when we left the comfort (and 24 hour support of the midwives) of the hospital and brought Lex home, we were filled with excitement and nerves… it was the beginning of our new life as a family. Looking back at photos, it is hard to imagine my bubbly and energetic boy as this tiny and fragile little bean. The most bittersweet thing of being a mother is trying to desperately freeze and memorize every little moment, yet the days seem to fly by and sometimes you can’t even remember what happened the day before. I am so excited to see Lex grow and to see his personality shine through, yet my heart aches when I notice how clothes that were loose just a week before, are now starting to be too tight. The baby face is starting to have glimmers of a little boy, and soon the babbling will turn into words.
Some days are so tough – with a total lack of sleep and a fussy and grumpy baby that seem impossible to appease, yet motherhood is easily one of the most fulfilling and incredible experiences I have ever been through. The learning curve is brutal – I was also not prepared for all the major changes and how parenthood is such a non-linear experience. Once we felt like we had gotten something, things would change again! It wasn’t always easy for us, there were days where we felt grumpy and exhausted. However, through it all, we have learnt so much together, leaned on each other, and gotten out stronger and more united than ever. I look back on this year and am so proud of everything we have learnt and accomplished together. Witnessing Jerry’s journey as a father has also been incredibly heartwarming. I knew he would be the most incredible dad and he met and exceeded all my expectations.
Before becoming a parent, I had no idea about all the milestones and other incredible things that babies learn in their first year of life. It has been so eyeopening to see Lex develop and explore the world around him. Watching him sleep for most of the day and making the tiniest little sounds, to rolling, crawling, and breaking into the most adorable smile and giggles that melt my entire heart. I was not expecting how much I would enjoy watching him develop and figure things out. It is so fascinating to me to see how he starts to understand and mimic certain actions. He would interact with toys and with us in a totally different way and it is so satisfying to see. I have had so many excited and proud parent moments! Watching him is also a daily reminder for us adults to appreciate and enjoy little things that we may have forgotten about, the wonder and excitement of a child is truly inspiring and I hope to stop and admire things around me more.
I was also not prepared for the overwhelming emotions that came with motherhood. I always knew that I wanted to be a mother and that I would love my family, but to experience this love and connection in real life was a different story. I often hear of mother’s talking about how it is a love you have never experienced before, and I jokingly felt like the husband now became chopped liver, but I know understood what they meant. Of course I love my husband to bits, but the tender love you feel for your child is something that cannot be explained. There are times when I look down at Lex while he’s nursing or after he has just fallen asleep, his chest rising gently and his soft cheek against me, and it feels like my heart will explode. I look at Lex and I think of all the things I want to do in this world to help him flourish and grow. I wonder at the end of each day whether I loved him enough and whether he knows how much he is loved.
I definitely think motherhood made me a better person. It makes me think of how I want to be as a role model to Lex and what values I want to pass down to him. It has made me a more thoughtful and empathetic person. Motherhood also made me realize how strong I was and how much I was willing to sacrifice and do for Lex. I have always been a confident person who believed in my abilities, but I was quite apprehensive about the lack of sleep. I had expected the bad sleep to last for around 3 months (oh so naive) but it has been over 1 year since I slept uninterrupted for more than 6 hours and I am still trucking along. Parenting with Jerry also made us learn more about each other and made our bond stronger. It was not always easy, especially in the beginning when we had very little help, but it made us figure out how to work through difficult times and support each other.
Even though it has been a whole year already, sometimes it still feels a bit unreal that I am a mother. I look at Lex and I think about how I grew and nurtured him in my body for 9 months, how he was brought into the world, and how he is now this energetic little boy. Sometimes Jerry and I will look at Lex and say “we made him!”. It is such an honor that I am tasked with raising and guiding this little human. What a wonderful thing it is, to meet your soulmate and have the opportunity to create another living being and create a family. Being a mother is one of the greatest blessings of my life. It has far surpassed anything I could have ever imagined and I feel lucky everyday to be able to experience this crazy rollercoaster ride.
Cooking for my loved ones is one of my favorite things to do, so I was super excited to introduce solids to Lex. Solids can be introduced to babies from 4 months but most start around 6 months. As always this is an account of my own personal experience and should never be taken as professional medical or nutritional advice. Do your own research to figure out what is best for your family.
Sitting up (some resources say unsupported, some say with some support such as towels. We did not do baby led weaning until he was sitting up fully unsupported but we did offer him some puree when he could sit up supported)
Can hold up head/neck strength
Loss of tongue thrust instinct
Fascination with food/meal time
Lex was able to sit up supported with some towels around 5 months and also showed A LOT of interest in our food. We spoke to our pediatrician and she said that we can start him out on some rice cereal while he sits in his baby bouncer. I did a little bit of research and felt that rice cereal was not actually that nutritious, so we decided to try some mashed up banana as his first food. We spoon fed him a little bit of the puree but quickly found out that he still had his tongue thrust reflex where he was pushing everything out with his tongue. We decided to wait a little bit and try again later.
At 5.5 months, we decided to give it a go again! He no longer had this tongue thrust reflex so we decided to start off with some single ingredient purees. We did not feel comfortable starting BLW (baby led weaning) yet because he was still unable to sit unsupported. It is important that he can do that for BLW so that he does not choke. We wanted to start off with single ingredient foods so that we can make sure he was not allergic to anything. We do not have any family history of food allergies but if you do, you should speak to your doctor before introducing top allergens such as nuts or dairy. Don’t introduce a bunch of new things at once or else it will be difficult for you to isolate which ingredient is the issue. When we introduced peanut butter (OUR FAVORITE) for the first time, we thinned it out into yogurt or oatmeal cereal and watched him carefully. If nothing happened for a few minutes, we gave him more. It is beneficial to introduce top allergens before 12 months and to do it consistently! Apart from peanut butter, I also purchased a 7 nut mix that I add to Lex’s breakfast consistently. He also had no issues with dairy or seafood, etc. Lex was not that keen on being spoon fed and would always grab the spoon and feed himself. It was a mess but it was so cute watching him discover new flavors and his dexterity in holding the spoon.
At 6 months, Lex could sit up properly without support so it was time to BLW! Baby led weaning is a method of feeding where you mostly skip spoon fed purees and offer your baby finger foods that they can grab and feed themselves. Some strict BLW followers say you need to skip purees all together but others argue that purees can also be offered on a preloaded spoon for babies to feed themselves with. Baby led weaning boasts a lot of benefits, including allowing the baby to self regulate their feeding, improving hand eye coordination, better relationship with food/more adventurous palate, and convenience for parents also! I purchased two books that I found very helpful. One is Baby Led Feeding by Jenna Helwig and the other is Simple and Safe Baby Led Weaning by Malina Malkani. Baby Led Feeding provides LOTS of amazing recipes while Simple and Safe Baby Led weaning gives you great basic information like how to serve single ingredient items safely. Both were helpful in different ways. As I started to move on from single ingredient items, I used the Baby Led Feeding book much more. The instagram account of “Infant Nutritionist” also played a vital role in my research for BLW. I would urge all parents who plan to BLW to read up on it and check out all the different resources out there.
However, like all things, this might not be the right choice for every family so do your research and see what works for you. I loved the idea of BLW but also felt that Lex wasn’t actually ingesting a lot of the food. He loved exploring the foods but not a lot was actually swallowed. I loved that it allowed him to explore at his own pace and the intake of food is not the only reason we eat, but it was also important for me for him to get his needed nutrition and caloric intake. Therefore we decided to go for a mixed approach. Breakfast would be mostly BLW with some spoon fed items and lunch was spoon fed puree. I realized that what was most important to me was responsive feeding – which is also in line with how I breastfed Lex! I wanted to respect him and look to him for his hunger cues, and not feed him according to what made sense to me. With responsive feeding, you don’t try to coax or force your baby to have “just one more bite”, if they are full and turn away from the food or are disinterested, we clean them up and end the meal session!
Of course, starting solids, especially with BLW, can get MESSY! It is quite cute to see food all over Lex’s face but it can also be quite a lot of work during the clean up. It definitely does help to have a dog when you are starting solids with a baby. Mister is always hovering around like a shark when Lex is eating and vacuuming up any bits that fall to the ground. I also HATE wasting food and I feel much better knowing that Mister can gobble up the leftovers (obviously making sure that he can eat the ingredients.
I was really happy with our mixed approach because Lex was able to practice BLW and also get his adequate nutritional intake. He was ravenous for the purees and we definitely saw him plumb up a bit after starting the mixed feeding approach. It is also important to note that you should have a neutral or positive attitude when introducing solids, don’t be upset if your baby rejects certain foods. Some meals are a huge hit while others are not! If your baby does not like a certain food, don’t try to force it and introduce it another time.
We try to keep his diet quite varied but one thing you need to pay attention to is iron. In the books and resources I read, it is said that babies have an iron reserve when they are born but that will run out around 6 months. While breastmilk is the perfect nutrition, it does not contain iron so babies will need to get it from iron rich foods such as red meat.
One important to look out for is to understand the difference between gagging and choking. Gagging is a normal protective reflex for babies and while it is scary, try to remain calm when it happens. This is a helpful page on noticing the difference and what to do! I would also recommend taking a pediatric first aid course to make sure you know what to do in emergencies. Jerry and I took one and we feel more secure after doing so. Another thing to read up on are certain foods that babies should NOT have. The #1 thing is honey because of the risk of botulism but apart from that babies can have most things, but do make sure you know about choking hazards such as grapes, hard apple bits, and sticky foods (that’s why it’s important to thin out nut butters). The things I listed are not exhaustive so make sure you do your due diligence.
In the beginning, we started out with 1 meal at day (breakfast) and we added lunch around 7 months. By 8 months Lex was having 3 meals a day! Even for someone who loves to cook, moving from 2 meals to 3 meals did require some planning. I decided to have dinner be BLW style also and Lex can eat our food with some adjustments. We also offer him water with an open cup after each meal because sippy cups are actually not the best for feeding development.
Essentially, this is the breakdown of Lex’s meals.
Breakfast is usually a combination of: BLW fruit (favorites include strawberries, golden kiwi, papaya, blackberries, oranges) + spoon fed or BLW oatmeal cereal/toast with pb/nut butter/avo + yogurt (mixed with chia and flax seeds, sometimes mashed fruit) and sometimes eggs(plain scrambled, with cheese, omelette). We also do banana pancakes and Taiwanese egg rolls!
Lunch: purees (usually a meat with a bunch of veggies and a grain (there has been a recent concern about arsenic in rice so I try to do a variety including rice, oatmeal quinoa, millet, polenta, amaranth, etc.) Around 9 months Lex started preferring a chunkier puree and by 11 months he was mostly off purees and ate modified “adult” meals.
Dinner: BLW of adjusted food that we eat (unsalted meats and veggies) and usually an extra carb for Lex as we usually eat less carbs for our dinner.
Around 8 months, I also started to bake him baby friendly muffins as a snacks. These are usually sweetened with fruits such as banana and dates and don’t contain salt. I also try to add extra fruit and veggies in there! These recipes will be posted on the website!
Around 10 months, I noticed that Lex got dramatically pickier! I read that it is common around this age because they want to exert control. We initially tried to mix things he liked (like yogurt) into meals but I stopped doing that because it was not a good habit to form. I reminded myself that I needed to be neutral and to just keep offering different foods. It definitely can be difficult when he rejects everything sometimes but I just had to stay on course and keep offering a variety of foods. He can definitely be a bit of a diva and turning away dramatically from the food, spitting things out, and even hitting away my hand! Sometimes if he ignored a food item, I will try to save it for the next day and make another dish out of it. Baby’s preferences and mood change all the time so I continued to offer him different things and just got used to the volatility. Sometimes he would scream at the food and sometimes he would gobble it up! It’s all a learning process (for him and me!).
When we eat out, I give Lex some of the items that Jerry and I are eating and sometimes order a little extra something for him. For example, when we ate out at a Thai restaurant, I ordered him some Hainan chicken rice. He loved the rice and I also broke off some small pieces of chicken for him. Other things I’ve given him while eating out were unseasoned fried rice from the kid’s menu and toast strips and chili. Lex also tried some spicy fried rice and loved it! If we are going to a place that does not seem like it will have baby friendly food, we will bring organic baby food pouches (we love the Ella’s kitchen brand). I try to bring things that don’t have too much sugar (more veggie blends over fruits) and also make sure it does not contain any preservatives. I love having Lex join us for meals and it does not need to be a stressful thing at all!
There are mix opinions about whether you should nurse before or after meals. My pediatrician said after while many sources online says before! I don’t really have a rule about it, if Lex is hungry before the meal I will nurse him but if he isn’t trying to nurse I will offer him the solid food meal first. It doesn’t seem to affect his intake of food so I feel ok continuing. You can chat with your pediatrician and also see whether your baby’s behavior is different whether you offer milk before or after meals. However, a baby’s reaction to different foods can be so random so it could be difficult to pinpoint!
In terms of organic vs not organic… we do make an effort to buy organic ingredients for him but its not all or nothing. Organic products are more limited and it would be too stressful and restrictive to do ALL organic. I make a lot of effort to buy high quality and sustainable/wild catch meats and seafood for us as a family so that works out well for Lex’s food also. I also found a great online grocer who has small 100 grams of packaged proteins specifically for babies. This is particularly useful for when I am making purees for him, however, you can easily just cut off some of the meats you use for your own dinner.
Babies are not supposed to have much salt at all and refined sugars are also not great for them. We try to minimize giving Lex those things but we are also not super intense attitude about it. When I am cooking at home, I hardly ever add salt or sugar into his food, I also shy away from pre-made sauces. I noticed that we as a family ate less salted food ever since I started cooking for Lex. However, similar to our own diet, we try to have a balanced approach with feeding him and we let him have “unhealthy” things like fries and ice cream once in a while! Eating nutritious food is important, but food should also be an enjoyment!
Here is a list of products that I use for starting solids
Stokke Steps high chair (the chair is beautiful and provides good support but I think the tray table is a bit silly because you can’t wash it under water and there are some difficult to clean crevices)
You can also check out many of Lex’s meals in my Instagram under the highlight “Lex’s food”!
Introducing solids has been such a joy! Enjoying delicious food and eating together are important things to our family and I am so happy to see that Lex is such a great little eater (sometimes!). He has tried so many different things and I look forward to many happy family meals together.
I have always enjoyed celebrating Mother’s Day with my mom and grandmas, but this year it is more special than ever because I am a mom myself! I was getting my second vaccine shot that Friday so was a bit worried I would be feeling under the weather but luckily I had no side effects. I had an early celebration with my parents on Saturday where I had them over and I cooked for them. That night, Jerry was being quite mysterious and was bustling around the kitchen while I was putting Lex to bed. He was asking me for where a bunch of ingredients were (bakings soda and turmeric?!) but I could not guess that he was making!
In the morning, Jerry woke me up and told me that breakfast was ready. He had made 菠蘿包/pineapple buns! For those who don’t know, 菠蘿包 is a Hong Kong classic bread and consists of a fluffy bun topped with a delicious sweet crust. I have made them before in a baking class and they require a lot of effort and are not easy to do at all. I was so impressed that Jerry made them from scratch and even colored them naturally with turmeric (so that’s what it was for!). This morning, he took the dough out of the fridge and allowed it to proof before baking. It was so delicious and it was so sweet that he prepared everything last night. Next to the breakfast was a lovely bouquet of my favorite roses (same as my wedding bouquet) and the sweetest card. What a lovely start to the morning!
Lex also decided to give me a special treat for Mother’s Day and was acting like he was on rocket fuel. I am not sure whether he ate too much of the sweet bread (we just gave him a bite) but he was acting absolutely insane. He usually sleeps at 10 am but after over an hour of wrestling and trying to stop him from flinging himself off the bed, we gave up and decided to just head out to the next surprise! Jerry said that we were going to have lunch late but we were heading out early at 11:30 am so I was once again quite curious as to what he had in store. I was guessing maybe a show but with Lex it was probably not doable. I was also worried it was some outdoor activity because I had a nice dress on and it was quite hot outside! As we drove I started to recognize where we were going and it was a massage followed by a scrumptious buffet lunch at Grand Hyatt. Jerry really has outdone himself!
The massage was absolute bliss. The masseuse noticed that my neck/shoulder area was quite swollen and I think it is because I am always craning my neck when I nurse Lex or when I am putting him to bed. I definitely need to be more careful because it has felt quite stiff for days and I need to adjust my posture a bit. After the massage I rushed down to the Grand Cafe to join my two boys. The food was absolutely delicious and we polished off plate after plate. They even had made to order of my favorite Hainan chicken rice at one of the stalls. After stuffing our faces, we were ready to head home. We then finished off the day with some Harry Potter and pizza after Lex was in bed. What a perfect ending!
The day was absolutely perfect and I am so grateful for my husband who put so much thought and effort into making me feel appreciated and loved. Becoming a mother has been one of the greatest blessings in my life and I am so grateful everyday that I get to experience this indescribable connection and love. Being a mother is also one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. It definitely pushes you and makes you redefine your limits (shocked I am still functioning after not sleeping well for over 10 months…and who knew I could hum the same song for hours night after night while being in and out of consciousness). However, all the challenges make it ever more fulfilling and special. It really shows you how strong you can be and all the things you are willing to do to provide the best for your beloved baby. Even when I am tired, I get so much enjoyment in looking up recipes and cooking up delicious and nutritious food for Lex, researching all the most beneficial and fun toys for him, and planning playdates and bringing him to playgroup. Watching Lex grow day by day fills my heart with so much joy and I feel so blessed to be able to experience parenthood with my husband. .
I also know that Mother’s Day can bring a lot of difficult emotions to other people. Particularly people who may have a complicated relationship with their mother, having difficulty conceiving, or having suffered a loss. These are things that I never thought about when I was younger and I am glad that I am more cognizant of that now.
Mother’s Day also is a time for us to show love and appreciation to not only mothers, but anyone who acts as a mother figure, such as a domestic helper. Many of us grew up with a domestic helper taking care of us, and I know a few friends who actually consider their helper to be more of a mother figure than their own birth mother. As we are older now, many of us have a helper who helps us keep our home in tip top shape and also takes amazing care of our little ones. We started off without a helper and only had a cleaner once a week, but we now cannot imagine our lives without our amazing helper! She loves Lex and spends so much time teaching him things, often she gives me lots of good tips also! I also know that she is the mother of a 3 year old back in the Philippines and I often think about how difficult it must be to be so far away from her own child. When I was younger, I was immature and was absolutely clueless about what helpers go through to come work in Hong Kong. As a mother now, it is hard for me to imagine what sacrifices many domestic helpers made to come work in Hong Kong, they miss out on watching their children grow up with the hope of earning more money to secure a better future for them. I hope that my helper knows just how much we value her and that others will also give their helpers a little extra love and appreciation on Mother’s Day (and every day!).
Lex LOVES these muffins and they are filled with goodies like banana, zucchini, carrots, and chia and flax seeds. The original recipe is from Jenna Helwig but I made a few adjustments such as omitting the sugar and adding some extra veggies and seeds. These are “baby friendly” in the sense that they don’t have any refined sugar or salt, but of course keep in mind your baby’s dietary restrictions and eating/chewing abilities. Lex is currently 10 months and these are perfect for little hands and he can take nice chomps with his baby teeth. These are delicious and are perfect for the entire family. I usually add some honey when I eat them (but babies under 1 can’t have honey). Enjoy!
Makes 12 muffins
Ingredients
2 eggs
1/3 cup olive oil
2 ripe bananas (mashed)
1 tsp of vanilla extract
1 cup all purpose flour
1 cup whole wheat flour
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tbsp of flax seeds
1 tbsp of chia seeds
1 zucchini (grated)
1 carrot (grated)
1 tsp baking soda
Instructions
Preheat oven to 350 F (~180 C). Grease muffin tin.
Whisk together the eggs, banana, oil, and vanilla.
Add the flours, cinnamon, seeds, and baking soda.
Fold in the zucchini and carrot.
Pour into muffin tin and bake for 45-55 minutes. Check for doneness using a toothpick.
There are so many things to learn and prepare when you’re about to welcome a baby into the world. How to feed your baby has gotten a LOT of attention in recent years. Back when I was a baby, formula was all the rage and was mistakenly deemed to be more beneficial than breastmilk. Now it is common knowledge that breastfeeding has myriad benefits for both mother and baby. Breastmilk provides the perfect nutrition for the baby and also provides precious antibodies. Breastfeeding also lowers the mother’s chance of breast and ovarian cancer. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends exclusive breastfeeding for the first 6 months and then breastfeeding combined with solid foods for 1 year, the WHO recommended breastfeeding up to 2 years and beyond! My goal is to breastfeed for at least 1 year and am open to go beyond that. While breastfeeding for the first 6 months is widely known to be important, breastfeeding beyond 6 months also has a lot of benefits for both the mother and baby. Of course, there are other factors that cause a mother to decide to use formula or breastfeed for a shorter duration of time, and one should make a decision that is best for their family and not let the societal pressure to exclusively breastfeed overwhelm them. This post will share my experience for breastfeeding and the reasons why I did things a certain way. There are a multitude of ways to nourish your child and family circumstances differ – this post is in no way trying to shame anyone who chooses to do things differently!
While breastfeeding is a beautiful and natural thing, it does not seem to come naturally to most women. I heard many terrifying stories of painful clogged ducts and bloody nipples from breastfeeding and had saved the contacts of a few lactation consultants in case I ran into these issues myself. Before giving birth, I took the time to read as much as I could about breastfeeding and also took this awesome course on breastfeeding. I firmly believe that choosing to give birth at Matilda set me up for success in many aspects of newborn care, but particularly in breastfeeding. From the moment Lex was placed in my arms, I had a number of experienced and helpful midwives helping me around the clock. They placed pillows around me, moved Lex around to adjust the latch, grabbed and maneuvered my breasts, and answered my countless questions. I am eternally grateful to them and believe they played an essential role in how well my breastfeeding has been going. I understood that breastfeeding could can be challenging, but that pain was NOT normal and mothers should not feel the need to endure pain during breastfeeding. I knew what to look out for to make sure the latch was good. I was not afraid to unlatch Lex if it was not comfortable and to readjust the position.
In the beginning I had to feed Lex every 3 hours (counting from the beginning of the feed). This was extremely time consuming and I kept note of all the feeds with a worksheet provided by Matilda. At first, I needed quite a bit of assistance from the midwives in finding the best feeding position, but I quickly learnt how to do it myself. I stayed at the hospital for 5 days (I had an emergency c-section) and the midwives came in less and less as I got more independent and confident with breastfeeding. However, they were always 1 button away when I needed help! Even though I knew that milk was supposed to come out of my breasts, the first few times still felt quite surreal! I couldn’t believe that my body was producing this magic liquid that would perfectly nourish my baby. My nipples did feel quite sore on the third day, but quickly got adjusted to it. I only had to use nipple balm once or twice and soon did not need it anymore. One tip was to put breast milk on your nipples if they felt dry or chapped and to allow the milk to dry. Many mamas also swear by silverettes to soothe and help heal sore nipples, but I have not tried that myself. I did have some leaky boobs in the beginning and had to use reusable pads, but by around 3-4 months I think my breasts had regulated themselves and I no longer had that issue. My breasts were ridiculously big though (both from the weight gain and breastfeeding), and it was definitely something that I was not used to!
Back at home, I downloaded an app called Baby Tracker which was extremely user friendly and helped me keep track of all the feeds (and nappy changes and nap times! this app is a lifesaver). At month 1, our pediatrician said that Lex was growing wonderfully and that we no longer had to wake him up for night feeds. I was quite excited to hear that but quickly learnt that it didn’t mean much because Lex would still wake up to feed anyways! As I type this at 9 months, Lex still wakes up a few times a night for milk/suckling (not sure if he’s hungry or just for comfort!). Night feeds were quiet and sometimes lonely moments because Jerry would be asleep (he was up and ready to help when I needed it, but it didn’t make sense to have him awake with me just for solidarity’s sake). However, it is also sometimes a sacred and peaceful time between me and Lex. I loved looking down at him suckling peacefully and enjoying this special moment together (not all the time though…sometimes tiring and a mess). It is also comforting to think that in Hong Kong and perhaps around the world, there are thousands of other mothers who are awake at the same time to nurse their babies.
Lex proved to be a hungry baby and I soon started to feed him on demand instead of on a strict schedule. It didn’t make sense to feed him on a schedule as he was hungry often, so I fed him whenever he needed it and allowed him to determine when to stop. However, newborns do have to eat on a schedule in terms of maximum time between feeds, so I had to make sure he ate at least every 4 hours. Apart from that, I would feed him whenever he displayed hungry cues. On demand feeding or responsive feeding has been shown to have many benefits, such as being the ideal way to keep milk production in sync with the baby’s needs, ensuring the baby gets enough milk, and it may even benefit emotional and cognitive development. However, this also means a bigger workload for me – sometimes I fed him up to 13 times a day! Some feeds would be just a snack and lasted for a few minutes, while some feeds would be large meals and would last for over an hour on just one breast. Feeding on demand is also beneficial for when the baby has a growth spurt and cluster feeds. Your baby needs more milk during growth spurts and the cluster feeding signals the mother’s body to produce more milk. Here is another article on why responsive feeding/feeding on demand can be very beneficial. Some people worry that you are unable to tell if your baby is getting enough milk with direct feeding since you cannot measure how much milk they are consuming like with bottle feeding. However, there are various signs that will let you know your baby is drinking enough milk, such as nappy output, physical signs (gulping and demeanor), and weight gain.
Both direct breastfeeding and pumping are great ways to feed your baby, with pros and cons for each method. I chose to mostly direct feed Lex. Direct feeding allows for biological communication between mother and baby where the mother’s milk will be customized in terms of both nutrition and antibodies according to the baby’s needs. Direct feeding will also result in a feedback loop for the supply and demand for breastmilk. Direct feeding is also very soothing for the baby with the suckling motion and the closeness. Breastfeeding is always a special bonding time for me and Lex. Pumping can be more convenient in terms of timing and delegation of feeding responsibilities (especially if the mother has work responsibilities), but it will also mean that the milk is not customized to the baby’s needs at any given moment and may also have less immune benefits. Direct breastfeeding also has its own challenges such as being more time consuming and issues such as pain due to poor latching. However, since I can control my own work schedule and Lex has a good latch, choosing to direct feed Lex was an obvious choice for me. Coincidentally, Lex also rejected the bottle and only wanted to feed directly! We introduced the bottle as suggested by midwives and breastfeeding courses at around 3 weeks after breastfeeding was established to reduce the risk of nipple confusion. He hated the bottle and this was a little bit inconvenient. While I was at home with him 99% of the time, sometimes I did need to have meetings or wanted to see friends! Around 5 months, Lex suddenly decided that he was ok with the bottle and this made my outings a lot less stressful and I didn’t have to rush home at a moment’s notice.
Even though I was lucky to have a relatively smooth journey with breastfeeding, the first few months were still very tough and exhausting. Once Lex wanted milk, everything froze and I had to get to him. I remember many dinners that were interrupted when I had to go to him and nurse. He was so small then and I was also an amateur so I was unable to nurse and eat myself. The night feeds were also exhausting, especially when it took him a while to go back to sleep after the 1 hour nursing session. The first few months were quite a blur and Jerry and I were mostly just on survival mode, but things changed around 3 months. There was a noticeable extension of time between feeds and I was also much better at feeding him on the go! I felt pretty comfortable nursing him in public also and found a loose t-shirt and leggings to be the ideal nursing outfit of choice when outside. I also purchased a number of nursing dresses that allow you to nurse discreetly. Overall, I was not shy to nurse in public and never had any issues. Luckily Lex did not need burping much and did not have too much reflux/spit up. We did make sure to burp him when he was a newborn for around 2 minutes as suggested by the midwives and he would let out some small burps, but overall it was quite easy and as he got older we often did not burp him at all and he was totally fine.
Apart from providing nutrition, nursing proved to be the best way to comfort and soothe Lex. He refused to use a pacifier but was actually obsessed with suckling for comfort. Whenever he was upset, the boob could almost always make things better. This was particularly useful when he was going through fussiness from growth spurts, pain from injections, or discomfort from teething. It is also a wonderful way to get Lex to sleep. I was initially under the inaccurate assumption that it was a bad sleep habit but it is actually a natural and comforting way for a baby to fall asleep!
In terms of pumping and storing milk, I only used a Hakaa pump to collect breastmilk while I nursed Lex in the beginning. Since I was direct feeding him and he hated the bottle, there wasn’t any reason for me to have much of a stash in the freezer. I had a few bags just for emergencies. After 5 months, I purchased a Youha pump and I would pump a few times a week. I usually have around 5 packs of milk in the freezer for the off chance that I was away when he got hungry. Lex also started eating solids around 5.5 months so the frequency of milk consumption also decreased slightly. Remember, a baby who is effective at nursing is the BEST at removing milk from your breasts, not some fancy machine. Pumping output is also not an indication of how much milk you are producing, so do not be alarmed if you feel like your pump output is not as high as you would like. Since I mostly direct breastfed Lex, it wasn’t always easy to get too much out of my pump since he is always taking little sips of milk from me! Sometimes I also felt like my body responded better to the Hakaa than the electric pump. However, if you need to build a stash, there are many ways to improve pump output (same link as earlier).
I did experience a few issues such as engorgement and mastitis. Luckily, they all went away on their own and I did not need anyone to come sort it out for me. Engorgement happens quite often since Lex has random bouts of crazy feeding and I think my body needs some time to adjust to the new demand and breast milk production. My breasts would be hard as rocks and be very painful. I have also had some clogged ducts but luckily they actually did not hurt. I once felt a lump in my breast that did not go away and ultimately went to get an ultrasound to be sure. Luckily it was just mastitis (also weirdly did not hurt, it often is extremely painful for women) and it went away on its own. I also had some milk blebs but they also went away on their own after I popped them (it is not recommended to pop them but I couldn’t resist… luckily it all worked out).
Around 5-6 months, I noticed that Lex was getting more and more distracted while breastfeeding (while doing anything to be honest). It was becoming a struggle getting him to stay still and I was constantly wrestling him! It definitely got quite challenging and some resources recommend covering the baby with a cloth so that they are less distracted. I would sometimes move him to a quiet room or just keep moving him back to the nursing pillow if he tried to squirm away. Around 7 months, Lex also started teething but luckily it has not affected breastfeeding too much. He did accidentally bite me twice and it was very painful but it has not happened since. Fingers crossed that things will still go smoothly as more teeth appear!
I do want to bring attention to something specific that I experienced during breastfeeding. I noticed that I always felt a bout of anxiety whenever I started breastfeeding and I initially just blamed it on postpartum hormones. However, it happened almost every time and I thought it was important to bring it up to Jerry because I was a little concerned. Postpartum mental health is a dire and important issue and we are lucky that there are a lot more resources now (I will also have a separate post on this topic). If you are concerned about something, make sure you talk to your partner or someone else! I was also lucky that one of my good friends had shared with me that her sister suffered from something called D-MER, a condition that made her feel extremely sad whenever she breastfed. Having that knowledge made me feel less alone and also made me understand that there is an actual reason I am feeling this way. Luckily the bouts of anxiety were short and very manageable, and while I never got properly diagnosed, I hope that raising awareness about this will help any other mothers going through it! These feelings also were more pronounced in the early months and I rarely get these bouts of anxiety anymore. It will be something I mention to my obstetrician for my next pregnancy.
Once again, this is my own experience and it does not mean it is the best and only way to nourish your baby! There are so many different factors involved with how one feeds their baby and regardless of whether you choose to direct feed, pump, mixed approach, or use formula, remember that you are the best mother for your baby. I feel very blessed that I have had such a wonderful experience with breastfeeding and think that I will actually miss it when it is time to wean Lex. It has not always been easy, but I will always look back on this experience with fondness.
Changing diapers is not everyone’s favorite part of parenthood, but it is something that has to be done. If you follow me on Instagram, you may have seen my stories about my excitement to use cloth diapers. I first heard about cloth diapers on social media and was instantly interested. I found out that babies use around 2,500-3,000 diapers in their first year and it is estimated that diapers take around 500 years to decompose! That is a lot of poopy diapers in the landfill! I was pretty disturbed by this statistic, so I was eager to look into reusable cloth diapers. I was overeager and bought a lot of different sizes and brands to try, including Grovia, Thirties, and Charlie Banana.
Fast forward to when we finally had Lex in our arms. We learnt how to change nappies at the hospital and got used to using the Huggies brand. We decided to buy a few packs to use at home since we were familiar with them. The first few weeks were chaotic and super busy so we wanted to use things that we were comfortable with. We decided to start cloth diapering once we felt a bit more secure and confident with newborn care. Once we had more of a routine and were quite the experts with disposable diapers, I was super excited to finally give the cloth diapering a go!
Unfortunately, cloth diapering did not go as smoothly as I had hoped! Essentially, we were experiencing a lot of leaks. I had heard that cloth diapering was harder for newborns since they are so small and funny shaped, but I had bought the newborn sizes and was hoping it would fit ok. Lex has a tiny waist and chunky thighs, a difficult combination when it comes to fit. If the waistband was tight enough, the leg gussets were much too tight. If the leg gussets fit well, the waist was too loose. We kept experiencing leaks from either the waist or the leg. Once it leaked, it meant we had to wash the swaddle and the waterproof pad underneath… as if we did not already have a lot to wash!
I was quite bummed by this and reached out to the cloth diaper shop staff. They were incredibly helpful and sent me lots of tips and fitting videos. However, even after consulting the experts and going over the videos, the leaks were still happening. Jerry is the one in charge of diapering and laundry and it was difficult for me to keep forcing him to try cloth diapers when they weren’t working well.
We decided to retire the newborn cloth diapers for a bit and to try it again when Lex would be a bit bigger. However, upon further investigation it seems like there is a big debate (another article here) on whether cloth diapering is actually better for the environment as compared to disposables. I was surprised and was pretty annoyed at myself for not doing my due diligence earlier. Our whole reason for using cloth diapers was to be eco-friendly and now I found out that they are just as bad – if not more than using disposables. This not always the case if you are able to launder them efficiently, but with Hong Kong’s humidity, we had to use the dryer for each wash and that uses up a lot of energy. We also had to do cloth diaper laundry either every day or at the very least every other day. Many people use cloth diapers for other reasons such as cost saving but since that was not our main reason, it did not make sense to put in all the extra effort in laundry when it did not result in a greener choice.
I was pretty bummed out that cloth diapering did not work out and was still hoping that it would somehow work, but after consulting with Jerry, he said that he was over the idea and that we should let someone else enjoy cloth diapering. I ended up selling all the cloth diapers at a huge discount via FB and was happy that other people are able to use the products! We also make an effort in many other areas of our lifestyle to be eco conscious so I will focus my attention on what works for us! In terms of diapering wipes, we still do a mix of disposables and cloth wipes (which can easily be tossed in the wash with other baby items).
I certainly don’t want my experience to discourage others who want to try cloth diapering (especially if you are able to launder them without a dryer), but I just want to be completely honest regarding our personal experience. Next time I must remember to do my research properly and also not commit the amateur mistake of buying too many baby things at one go!
It has taken forever to get this post out (let’s be real, it’s been much harder to get any post out since having Lex!). How do you record down the 3 months after one of the most monumental moments of your life?
Have you heard of the fourth trimester? It is the 12 week period after giving birth and it is full of changes for both the mother and the baby! We had an amazing time at Matilda, but that honeymoon period had to end some time. We were lucky to have spent a whole week there, where we were supported and guided by the most amazing midwives. Once we got home, we were on our own! The first week was rough. Jerry and I had been enjoying uninterrupted 8-9 hours of sleep every night for quite some time and having a newborn thrown in was a shock to the system. We also did not know what was bothering him and how to soothe him in the beginning. I had to feed Lex every 3 hours and sometimes after his feed he would be fussy or just wide awake for another 2 hours… just in time for the next feed! I did not know what type of soothing he preferred and I would spend hours rocking and patting him. In the beginning I also took it upon myself to try and do it all. I wanted to feed him and get him back to sleep without waking up Jerry. I realized this was not smart and that I should ask for help when I needed it. There have been a few times where Jerry woke up to me crying in desperation at 3 am after being up for hours. Now I will wake him up if I cannot console Lex and Jerry will take him out to the living room for a stroll. At the end of the first week you sometimes wonder how you’re going to make it for another week, but it definitely gets easier! You start to understand what may be bothering him (hungry, temperature, nappy, etc.) and what type of soothing technique works for him (more about his sleeping in another post!).
Everything we learnt at Matilda was still quite new to us and at first we were quite slow at changing diapers (especially when he was tossing around!) and we would be quite nervous when giving Lex a bath, but we noticed that we got better and more comfortable at these tasks quickly. At first it was so difficult to get the diaper on a wriggling baby but now we can change him in a flash! We still get peed on once in a while (hello boy parents) but we are much better at covering up him to prevent that. Initially we were also a bit clumsy and overly careful when picking Lex up, but as time went on we became much smoother and would scoop him up with ease (obviously still safely, but you realize babies aren’t AS delicate as you think).
We were also quite paranoid with germs for the first month (especially with Covid around) and washed our hands and sanitized nonstop. My hands were getting so dry! After the first 1-2 months we became a little more relaxed but we were still diligent about hygiene.
In the beginning, Lex slept A LOT. Soon he was waking up more often and we had to learn how to interact and engage with him. It feels a little weird to read books to a newborn but it has been shown to be very beneficial to their development. We tried to read to him everyday and also showed him high contrast images. We also started tummy time quite early (his first week) and we love watching Lex get stronger and stronger. At first he was hardly able to lift his head and now he does it with ease. Before becoming parents, I did not know much at all about all the amazing developments that babies go through in the first few months. It is fascinating to watch Lex grow and gain the ability to follow an object with his gaze, reach for items, and recognize voices. Lex also rolled over at 2.5 months and has been a little trouble maker ever since! Please remember that babies develop at their own pace, so don’t worry if they don’t hit the “milestones” at exactly the proposed time. However, do check in with your healthcare provider if you feel like something is amiss.
Luckily, breastfeeding has been going super well (will have a separate post on my breastfeeding journey) and Lex is gaining weight at an extremely healthy rate. He is generally not a fussy baby but can act quite crazy during growth spurts. It is definitely helpful to chat with other moms and to read up on developmental/growth spurts so that you have some understanding of what is happening (and also to not feel alone!). Every baby is different and the guidelines are not 100% accurate, but it does give you some peace of mind as well that what your baby is doing is normal.
In terms of my own recovery, I was really lucky to have a smooth c-section recovery. I started working out again around 4 weeks and feel basically back to normal (in terms of birth recovery… NOT fitness). I got used to the interrupted sleep and also feel quite comfortable with newborn care. It took Jerry a little bit more time to get used to the lack of sleep, but he is now such a trooper – he is ready to jump into action to help at night. I know that I will continually be learning and things will change, but these first 3 months have been chock full of new experiences! It wasn’t easy, but I loved learning and practicing with Jerry, I felt like we were fully in this parenthood journey together. Things may seem a bit overwhelming at first, but remember that you are the best parent for your baby and you’re doing amazing! Don’t doubt yourself, but remember to ask for help if you need it. It’s a huge adventure being new parents and there are good and bad days, but we felt more confident and fulfilled as time went on. We are now 6 months into the parenthood game and we realized that there are new things to learn at every turn, but I have also been surprised by how adaptable and resilient we are as parents. You got this!
Stephanie Lau 