Pregnancy is a wonderful time when you get a lot helpful tips from other mamas and support from friends (pregnant or not!). I connected with a lot of new people and truly enjoyed this new community. Here are some ways to form awesome connections during this time:

• Reach out to friends/acquaintances that are pregnant. They may not be your close friends and/or people you usually talk to, but I’ve noticed that everyone is eager to chat and I’ve really enjoyed these conversations. Don’t be shy! You might also become new mommy friends.
• Join a mommy-to-be Whatsapp group. I was initially a bit apprehensive about joining a big group chat with complete strangers but I have actually found myself really enjoying it. Women with around the same due dates (within 3 months) are in the chat group and share a bunch of information regarding baby products, baby care, hospital procedures, you name it! Everyone is also super supportive and kind. It was particularly helpful to connect with other women who are pregnant during a pandemic.
• Getting input from people who already have kids. We all have different parenting styles, but you get a lot of valuable insights from people who already have kids. You don’t have to agree on everything, but you will definitely at least get some helpful information. I also was lucky enough to get a lot of maternity wear and books from a good friend who gave birth a few months before me. The items she gave me were so useful and it made me feel very loved!
• Don’t forget about your friends who aren’t pregnant! Even though they might not be as interested in the latest baby bouncer, my close friends have been such a source of support and happiness during this time.

Pregnancy is such an exciting time but it is also a time when you get a ton of unsolicited advice and some may even be quite negative. I don’t think people usually mean any harm, but they don’t always put a lot of thought into how their comments will make a pregnant person feel. One time I was in a group setting and a woman who already had a child kept telling me how I won’t have any time to do what I want once I have the child, that I definitely HAD to get a helper or else I won’t be able to manage, and that you get dumber after giving birth and would struggle at work. I was absolutely shocked by this and was in quite a bad mood after. Perhaps she was having a hard time personally and wanted to tell me her honest opinion, but I definitely did not appreciate her input and felt attacked and insulted. I have yet to experience this crazy adventure of taking care of a newborn, but I am hoping to face it with optimism and excitement. She is definitely not someone that I will be reaching out to for any pregnancy or newborn advice. Shortly after that exchange, another woman came up to me and said “I think you can do it, it wasn’t easy for me either, but I am slowly getting back to work and also working out”. I was incredibly touched and appreciative of her comment, and I hope that I can be a source of positivity and encouragement to others in the future.

Pregnancy is an amazing time, but it is also a fragile time. You are wondering what your life will be like after giving birth, whether you will be able to keep doing the things you loved, how you will embrace this incredible but demanding new role, and how your identity will change. Don’t waste your time on people who doubt you and don’t support your dreams during this sacred time.

It is important to learn how to filter through all the input and advice that you get and make sure you surround yourself with people who encourage you and make you feel strong.  You should also make sure that you are not too bothered by other people’s remarks. I was taken aback by this woman’s comments, but very quickly recovered because I know that I will do what I want and that her words don’t mean anything. She doesn’t know me or what I am capable of. It know that it will be a huge change and a big challenge, but I have confidence that I can still be a vibrant and ambitious woman after having children. Find people who share the same enthusiasm and energy as you, and ignore those who try to put you down. This is such a special time and to put it eloquently, you don’t have time for that shit.