I was 30 when I found out I was pregnant and this meant that it was the period when most of my friends were getting married or getting ready to have kids. Weddings also mean… bachelorette trips! Two of my best friends were getting married and had super fun overseas bachelorettes planned. One was in mid November where I would only be at around 8/9 weeks and too early for us to be publicly open about the pregnancy. In the second trip, I was just at 12 weeks so everyone already knew. In the first trip, I had only told a very small number of my closest friends at this point. Even though I hardly go out to party anymore, bachelorette trips are the major opportunities to go hard once more with good friends. I was a little nervous about how I would be able to conceal this little secret, especially since I am always the first reach for that vodka soda.

I looked up a few tips online (the internet is awesome), but many of the tips were way too complicated… such as telling the bartender beforehand so that they can switch out your drink when you are there with your friends. I decided that I was going to tell people that I was either sick or not drinking because I was actively trying for a baby. I decided to go with the latter because sickness has never really stopped me from having a drink or two and it also seemed like too big of a lie to pretend to be sick the entire trip.

Here are some tips that I think may be helpful: 

When the pregnancy is still a secret

1. Think of an excuse that you feel comfortable with. If you think that pretending to be on antibiotics or having to make up an entire story of being ill is too much, it probably will be! I thought that my reason that I was actively trying made sense and it was also not too much work to maintain. 
2. Tell a select few. I was not ready to tell everyone about the pregnancy, but I did tell a small number of people on the trip. This made me feel a bit more comfortable because they knew what was going on and they could also keep an eye on me in case I was feeling unwell. You should also consider telling the bride-to-be because this is a trip in her honor so she would appreciate knowing what is happening (and why you are not going all out haha). But obviously this is all up to you! 
   • You may also want to reach out to the person who is planning special activities. For example, if someone is planning a cocktail making party of massage, you should let them know you are pregnant in advance so they can make special arrangements for you. 
3. Don’t worry too much about the secret. Even though you have an excuse ready and will try to keep it up, it is likely that some on the trip will guess that you are pregnant anyways (many have dealt with pregnant friends and have heard that excuse before!). Don’t sweat it too much as most people understand the delicate nature of this time and will be tactful even if they secretly have suspicions.
4. Remember that the safety of you and the baby is the #1 priority. During the trip, I was able to not drink but sometimes situations arise that are less than ideal. We went to this bar and it was extremely smokey. I was not sure if I should leave early at first because I felt like it was too “obvious”, but ultimately I did because me and my baby’s health is way more important that keeping up appearances. If people got suspicious and wanted to speculate, so be it. 

General tips

1. Rest up! Your body is working hard to create a human! This is not the time to rally and see if you can be the last person standing. If you are tired, just go and take a nap or sit back and relax. 
2. If traveling to a hot location, stay hydrated and stay in the shade: This is more of a general travel tip for pregnant people, but since many of our friends have trips in SE Asia locations, this is very important! You are much more prone to fainting and dizziness while pregnant (and high body temp) so you definitely want to be careful. I fainted briefly in Bangkok and it was quite a scary experience. 
3. Do extra research on dietary restrictions. This is another general travel tip, but when you are eating in a group and traveling to a new country, you should do a little more research on what foods are ok for pregnant people to eat. I was unable to eat any of the hairy crab roe while I was in Shanghai and I also had a few items substituted for my meals in Bangkok.
4. Pick and choose parts of the trip. No one wants to miss out on a bachelorette to celebrate your good friend getting married, but sometimes there might be parts of the trip that doesn’t make sense. It is ok to go to parts of it and skip other parts! For example, I went to a trip segment in Bangkok but skipped out on the festival Wonderfruit because I was worried about the heat and mosquitoes. Find ways to be involved that makes sense for you and your pregnancy 🙂
5. Don’t let the pregnancy make you feel boring/less fun! This obviously depends on how your pregnancy is going. While I was more tired than before, I was still able to go to the club with my friends and dance until 2 am. Don’t feel that just because you are pregnant and can’t drink, you are boring and can’t have tons of fun with your girls!